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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 821
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 821 |
Ran across this today:
- Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is real bad, add a banana pudding. (we call in 'nanner puddin')
- Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
- Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
- Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of yonder."
- Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly."
- Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
Gimme some sugar, :p Gator
- Smoke 'em if you got 'em
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627 |
The last thing a southerner says:
Hey guys watch this
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 821
Lunker
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OP
Lunker
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 821 |
ok Bill, you got me. true.
Gator
- Smoke 'em if you got 'em
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 556
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 556 |
Eeeeeeewwwww my turn:
"At's finer'n a frog hair split six ways"
"Them ain't puppies; Them's full growed dogs!"
"Y'ont to?"
"Skitt it, boy!"
"It'll be a'ight in tha mo'nin."
"How ya duirn?"
"It's all good but the gravy"
"Never woulda thunk it"
"Never woulda knowed it"
"Back before the war..."
"Knee high to a (short) grasshopper"
"That's older than dirt!"
"Whoah, Nelly!"
"Whee, doggy!" "Sho' nuff!"
"Get on over hyeh!"
"Get on outta hyeh!"
Deb
Do fish actually kiss?
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627 |
coming up a storm(Granny)
lunch is called dinner and dinner is called supper
that's about as fun as watching two mules fight over a turnip(my Greatuncle Bud)
the war of northern aggression(my greatgrandmother)
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,892
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,892 |
Old age can sure put a hitch in your gitalong.
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,386
Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 2,386 |
Mr. Duggan, ya were close, but it's "hold my beer, and watch this". Gator, ya shoulda knowed that. Bob-O, a yankee hillboy.
Do nature a favor, spay/neuter your pets and any weird friends or relatives.
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 821
Lunker
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OP
Lunker
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 821 |
"he is tighter than Dicks' hat band" Gator
- Smoke 'em if you got 'em
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 72
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 72 |
I wouldn`t take you kids to a worm wrassle!
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,365
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,365 |
Grinning like a mule eating briars
Shaking like a dog passing a peach pit
Really! All seriousness aside!
Git 'er done!
See ya later, I gotta make a block.
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 821
Lunker
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OP
Lunker
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 821 |
- Smoke 'em if you got 'em
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1 |
Grinnin' lika possum passing 'simmon seeds. Irregardless. that one kills me.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627 |
Burger I swear I saw irregardless in a legal document the other day
Yesterday was as cool as the other side of your pillow.
This is bring up great memories of growing up with wonderful southern folks
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,892
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 1,892 |
The differences in a Fairy Tale and a Texas Tall Tale:
A Fairy Tale starts off "Once upon a Time".
A Texas Tall Tale starts off "Hey you %$*(&((&%('s ain't gonna believe this *&^%t.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1 |
A Sailor's tale starts off with "and this is no sh..!
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627 |
This goes back a ways but growing up when southern gentlemen spoke of a good looking woman they refered to her as being handsome(I guess if no kids were around it might have been different)
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 556
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 556 |
Originally posted by burgermeister: Irregardless. that one kills me. I thought that really was a word.
Do fish actually kiss?
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627 |
Deb as Lewis Grizzard said "dang hoss I don't think I would've said that"
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 556
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 556 |
BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow." Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."
JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida. Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."
MUNTS - noun. A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."
IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni." Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"
RANCH - noun. A tool. Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."
ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."
FAR - noun. A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."
BAHS - noun. A supervisor. Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"
TAR - noun. A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."
TIRE - noun. A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."
HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ. HOD - adverb. Not easy. Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."
RETARD - Verb. To stop working. Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."
TARRED - adverb. Exhausted. Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."
RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege. Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."
LOT - adjective. Luminescent. Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."
FARN - adjective. Not local. Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."
DID - adjective. Not alive. Usage: "He's did, Jim."
EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA). Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"
BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable. Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."
JU-HERE - a question. Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the University of Alabama?"
HAZE - a contraction. Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."
SEED - verb, past tense. VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"
HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action. Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"
GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution. Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!
Do fish actually kiss?
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 556
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 556 |
Do fish actually kiss?
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627 |
Dad why is Miss Bessy in the hospital? Son shes having a little plumbing problem. I was about twenty till I figured that one out.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627 |
Deb I was pokeing fun at you, I use it too. Just don't write legal documents with it. BTW the lawyer who wrote it told me I was crazy that it's not a word
Ewest what's the correct word I use "not withstanding"
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 551
Ambassador <br /> Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador <br /> Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 551 |
"Youngins"
"That made me more scared than a pole cat with a long tail in a room full of rocking chairs"
My favorite, that puts the question, comment or problem back into the speaker's hands..."Well?"
examp: Yall should have called before you put a pick through my liner..."Well?"
See ya!
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1 |
I guess if you have less regard for something than regardless would explain, then the double negative, irregardless would be applicable. Now, is that ap/pli'ca/ble or ap'pli/ca/ble.
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 21,512 Likes: 270
Moderator Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
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Moderator Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 21,512 Likes: 270 |
Bill : Yall pleeese dunt right no legal papers !!! Try this " not withstanding anything contained herein to the contrary" . Never was sure what that means. Better " this provision supercedes and controls over any conflicting or contrary provision contained herein " Irregardless - a substandard or humorous redundancy for regardless.
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Moderated by Bill Cody, Bruce Condello, catmandoo, Chris Steelman, Dave Davidson1, esshup, ewest, FireIsHot, Omaha, Sunil, teehjaeh57
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