Pond Boss Forums GENERAL QUESTIONS Pond Boss Help me out. You might be a pond enthusiast if:

Your cellphone is covered in more scales and fish slime than your bluegills.

You have a different pump sprayer for every day of the week.

You can name all of the ingredients in a bag of AQ, but you have no idea what's in the meatloaf you're having for supper.

You can set a conibear 110 with your hands held behind your back.

You know the difference between "moss" and algae.

You insist you're a Pisces, even though you were born in April.

When folks ask what yer sign is and ya reply Feces.
What do ya call three Hoosiers on the same topic? ... Pathetic!!
Come on Cecil, make it tragic.

You're the only one in your circle of friends who can work "chubby darter" into a sentence without snickering.

You can't drive by a small creek or valley without saying, "They should put a dam there!"

Whoa... Cabin fever seems to be a few months early now.

Don't think it's cabin fever. More than likely Sparky is over anxious ta make more syrup.
JKB, not sure what "fancy blue attire" is referring to. Seems ta me those white jackets that tie in the back are called Straight, not to be confused with the folks wearin em.

Aha...classic!

If you have sent more than one letter to the FBI demanding GBH and WT be added to the top 10 wanted dead or alive list!

You think "swimming with the fishes" is a good thing

You know what a limnologist does

You know what eutrophic means

You spend more money on fish food than people food

You are convinced that a large girth and having 130% RW is something
to brag about

You told your wife when she was pregnant she looks beautiful when she is gravid....

You can ID invasive pond plants from a blurry photo that was taken 100 yds from the pond but have no idea what to spray on the weeds in your lawn, let alone know what the weeds are called.

Great one!

You know that "stratified" does not mean " shot full of holes"

You spend quiet time pondering the enigmas that have baffled man since time began....why do long ears have red breasts while red breasts have long ears?

Or why do people say frog legs taste like chicken instead of chicken tastes likes frog legs...the evolutionists will tell you the frogs were here first!

You installed a K&N filter on your twin cylinder, rocking piston aeration compressor, and you're considering swapping in a set of high compression pistons.

(Might need to be a gear head for that one.)

The first 2 are a bit personal...

...you see a truly gross looking pond while travelling down an Interstate highway covered in FA, find the owner and try to sell them Tilapia, and if they can't afford them, stock some for free....

...you barely resist the urge to slap a friend when they call saying, "I just added 200 White Crappie" to a 3yo, perfectly stocked 1/2 acre smallie pond, and THEN ask, "think it'll mess anything up?"....

...you like Green Sunfish....

...your pregnant wife tells you while you're fishing that her water just broke, and you say, just 2 more casts hun....

...your wife tells you that you love your pond more than her, and you have to mentally debate the merits of both....

...you spend 50 grand on dirt work for a 2 acre pond, 5 grand on aeration, 3 grand on fish food and feeders, 5 grand on fish, 10 grand on a covered dock, 5 grand on landscaping, catch a 6" fish on the first ever cast into the new creation on a crisp morning at sunrise, you're alone as mist is rising up off the water you look up, proud, seeing the awesome beauty of it all and your only thought is, Man!, why didn't I do this years ago?!?!?

Guys, we were lured into this one. I'm sure Sparky had envisioned this post months ago and spent said time preparing a list of accurate responses.

Nope. Just conceived the idea today. Been a somber week on the forum, thought it might lighten the mood a bit.

Gotta' dig deep, Bob!

I concede. I gave up digging when I found out how to electrify worms out of the ground. WAIT, that should qualify as another reason, right?

Perfect!!

You're aware that "flexing the membrane" is not code speak used to describe some activity not usually discussed in polite company.

While watching an episode of "lake Life" with some friends, you see a shot with Norris lake in the background, and you casually, with a complete air of indifference, remark "I told you I've fished there, right?"

You think license to kill is cool, but license to rotenone is even better.

You're totally in favor of implanting tracking chips to monitor your fishies movements, but you refuse to pay OnStar to perform the same service for your new truck.

And I just happen to have both.........