Pond Boss Forums INTRO New Forum Member Introduction JHAP's tips for new forum members..

Our forum membership is growing by leaps and bounds and the forum is getting better and better (thanks not in a small way to TJ). Often times new members are not sure how to go about getting the information that they desire. Accordingly, I, JHAP, being of sound mind and a puffy body have decided to give you a new member primer. This is solely my opinion and is neither endorsed by the powers that be nor was I requested by anyone to write this. Yep, once again I took it upon myself to give you information that is probably useless dribble, heck it's what I do best so why should I stop now?

Anyhoo, here goes...

JHAP's tips for new forum members....

What the heck are they talking about?
Can't figure out all of the abbreviations? It takes a while to figure it out. That's why Forum Moderator extraordinaire, Theo Gallus, has assembled a very compressive list of commonly used acronyms. This list appears under the topic Common Pond Q&A (archives) and is named Commonly Used Acronyms (Abbreviations). Clicky here for a direct link. Print it out for reference. Especially at first this would make your journey through the Pond Boss forums much, much easier. Want a bit of Pond Boss trivia? Who cares, I'm telling you anyway. Theo Gallus is the only person to successfully land the elusive quadruple entendre. Sure he pulled a muscle in the process, but it was a site to behold. Read his words carefully, they often have multiple meanings.


Searching the Pond Boss Forums:
This was taught to us Aaron M. This is what I call the Google method of searching the Pond Boss Forums. IMHO one of the fastest and easiest ways to search this forum is to go to Google and type in what you want to search for followed by the phrase site:pondboss.com.

For example let's pretend that I wanted to read all of the posts about Hybrid Stripped Bass or hsb as they are commonly referred to here on the forums. To do this I would open Google and type in the phrase...

hsb site:pondboss.com

make sure you have the space between the search word, in this case hsb, and the phrase site:pondboss.com

What this does is to tell Google to scan through all of the posts on the pondboss.com web site for the "word" hsb.

Doing that I quite literally came up with 40 pages of Google references just here on Pond Boss.

Pretty cool right?


Read the archives:
While on the forum main page, click on Common Pond Q&A (archives). There are pages and pages of archived links. This contains some of the most valuable information in all of pondom. This section is a national treasure and in my humble estimation is worth 1.5 billion dollars. What do we charge for access to the archives? Nothing, nada, zip. Why? We’re just crazy that way.


Reading the free Pond Boss articles:
While on the main forum page, in the upper left, there is a button named “Free Pond Boss Articles.” Click on it to reveal a list of articles written by the best and the brightest minds in all of the Pond Meistering world (which is why there are no articles written by me on the page, I hate it when that happens).


Looking at other resources provided by “the” Pond Boss:
While on the forum main page, in the upper left, just below the Pond Boss logo fish, click on the words “Pond Boss.” This will bring you to the Pond Boss magazine main page. From that page you can click on Magazine (and subscribe to the very best magazine in the pond management world). You can order pond videos (yep we actually have videos at our disposal for those of you that couldn’t wait for the movie to come out guess what... it has.). You can order a plethora of books – these are a fantastic management tool. I own several of the books and have read them over and over (and over and over). Click on the resource guide and you will see lists of Pond Boss approved vendors sorted by subject matter. These are vendors that are Bob Lusk approved, he subjects his vendors to a level of scrutiny that would make the FBI envious.


Words from the experts:
Pay close attention to words by expert individuals. Sure sometimes they disagree and debate a topic but that is all part of the American way – the right to disagree. Most of the times however you will find a census of opinion amongst them. Now I know what you’re thinking, “Ok JHAP, in all of your immense wisdom who do you consider an expert.” Jeez way to put the pressure on me. Dang this list would be long and if I named them I would miss a bunch of them, but here’s a small primer:
Bob Lusk, don’t know that name? (what did you grow up in a cave?). Mr. Lusk is THE pond boss. Bob is so busy that he can’t post anywhere near as much as he’d like (trust me I’ve followed Bob around a for a day and the guy runs at a pace that would make Nascar looks like tricycle races). When he does post however you should listen. Bob is a renown author and chooses his words carefully (and, more often than not, very humorously). When Bob speaks I listen, and so should you. The only reason that you are reading these words is because Bob Lusk and Mike Otto built the Pond Boss empire to include this forum. Without them I would be wandering around the street aimlessly (well more than I normally do anyway). And that brings me to...
Mike Otto, probably the best pond builder in the northern hemisphere. Want proof, Mike Otto built all eight of Bob Lusk’s ponds (7, 8,9? I can’t remember for certain how many ponds Bob Lusk has but suffice it to say that when it comes to real estate Bob Lusk is under water, more than half of the Lusk real estate is a haven for all things pondom). Otto doesn’t dig holes he designs and creates ponds, and he does it very, very well.
Forum moderators: the moderators have been chosen for their experience, wisdom and commitment to the forum. They receive no remuneration for their services; yep they do this for free. Why? Beats me but they do and it is to our great benefit. Our moderators include rocket surgeons, attorneys, biologists, hardened Texans, freak detectors, etc, etc, they know their stuff. The moderators are hands-on pond owners that have been there, and done that. There are many other experts that are not moderators, nor Pond Boss owners, although I hate to name names (because I’ll miss many names) here are a few more...
Dr. Dave Willis – don’t know who he is? You should. Dr. Willis runs the South Dakota State University’s Department of Wildlife and Fisheries Sciences. Known by his friends as Dr. Dave, he has quite literally written the book (actually more than one) on Wildlife and Fisheries.
Cecil Baird, although he doesn’t like to be called an expert (he’s humble that way), Cecil knows his stuff because he makes his living raising fish (as well as being one of the best fish taxidermists in the country – which of course he’ll also deny).
Bill Cody also known as “Commander Cody”, “Wild Bill Cody”, “The Codenator, Dr. Perca.” A forum moderator and widely considered an expert, by profession Wild Bill is an Algal & Invertebrate Taxonomist. Heck I can’t even spell that... I had to cut and paste it from his bio. When Bob Lusk has a question that stumps him (which isn’t very often) amongst the panel of experts that he consults with is Bill Cody.
Eric West, yep he's also included the moderator list but his name is worth mentioning twice. Nick named the Pond Boss Librarian, Mr. West has more information as his disposal that than the entire nation of Paraguay. He has linked more links here than a Johnsonville Sausage factory. Bob Lusk once told me when Eric speaks you should listen, and I do.
Forum vendors, yep forum vendors. Oh I know what you're thinking...JHAP have you gone mad??? Probably but that is beside the point, sure the forum vendors sell stuff but I've got a secret for you, this is just between you and me, make your spouse leave the room, cover the dogs eyes, turn off the light in the aquarium, ready? The forum vendors make money by providing the correct solution. If they gave out bad advice or sold lousy products they wouldn't be in business long. We have vendor/experts in pond management, aeration, chemical application, pond supplies, and so on and yep they'll make a few bucks selling you stuff. So what, it's the American way. That's only a partial list, I know I've forgot way, way too many names but that'll get you started. As I get yelled at for this list, I’ll edit it but that is a basic primer to get you started.


Ask questions:
Yep, we’ve heard most of the questions before but it never hurts to ask. Try a forum search first, read through the archives, but don’t hesitate to post questions. That’s why they are here.


Inspiration:
Want some inspiration? Check out Brettski's Liberty Nature Preserve website. Brettski has has meticulously documented the transformation of his property from wild wilderness to a beautiful oasis. IMHO he has the built the best of the best in websites documenting such a project. Not afraid to get his hands dirty, Brettski is building his dream and documenting the progress. He takes on projects that make lesser men weep. Don't believe me? Check out his website, you won't be disappointed.


Finally and in conclusion (bet you thought this would never end):
Be nice, be polite, don’t be political, and don’t be afraid to laugh. The members of this forum have become like a family, we poke fun at each other, we joke around a lot, and occasionally we even use photo manipulation software to prove a point. Have fun here. This is all just one lowly forum member's opinion. I've risked life and limb to give you these tips. Take 'em or leave 'em. Lots of info I know, but hopefully it will help you along your journey.


Lastly, to quote the immortal words of Emerson, Lake and Palmer... "welcome back my friends to the show that never ends, we're so glad you could attend, come inside, come inside."

Welcome to Pond Boss, we're glad you found us.


Disclaimer:
The information provided above is for informational and entertainment purposes only and should not be considered as, nor relied upon as, an expert opinion. JHAP is NOT an expert in anything to do with ponds but that doesn't stop JHAP from pretending to be one. Prolonged exposure to JHAP's posts can cause discomfort, displeasure, disassociation, disbelief, discontent, disharmony, disheveling, disgust, disloyalty, disobedience, disquietude and many other words that start with dis. Four out of five doctors recommend avoiding any prolonged exposure to JHAP's posts while three of seven dentists actually enjoy reading them (dentists are weird that way). The dentist thing makes sense when you think about it because most folks don't like visits with either their CPA or their dentist so the two professions kinda stick together. So what does JHAP actually do? More than he should and less than he can, but to earn dollars to spend on his pond, JHAP is a CPA that is licensed to practice in the State of California even though he resides in a perpetual State of Denial. JHAP will continue to practice accounting until he gets better at it. What does being a CPA have to do with Pond Boss, well nothing now that you mention it, jeez way to make a guy feel inadequate. Bruce Condello (moderator) being a tooth doctor and JHAP being a CPA actually considered merging forces thereby creating the first ever CPA/Dental practice. Image a one stop shop for root canals and tax preparation, pretty cool huh? Just envision having your taxes prepared while under the influence of laughing gas, pure genius I tell you. We were gonna name the practice "Drill 'em and Bill 'em" but then Bruce got all famous and that was the end of that. The opinions expressed by JHAP are not necessarily those of Pond Boss's management, moderators, advertisers, members at large, members at small, or even medium sized members.

JHAP, great post. I think it should be made into a sticky.

It took a while, but I read a LOT of the archives when I first found this place. Granted, there were a few less in there, but I learned more than I could assimilate and had to keep going back to soak up more.

The wealth of information on here is truly mind boggling, and the informaton resources of the members here is even greater. I'm not just talking about ponds either.

Excellent reading JHAP, excellent. I wish you had written it back when I became a member.

Out of the mouth of babes.

Not that I think Jeff is a "Babe".

Bing

a puffy babe

Well that's an easy one, Cisco. Just delete your current account and start again!

JHAP, great post. I agree, this should absolutely be made a sticky. And come to think of it, you should have told people what a sticky is in your post. It took me a few months here before I realized it wasn't something I'd be embarrassed to tell my mother about!

Ok, a "sticky."

A sticky is when the one of the forum moderators/owners/powers that be, somehow cause a post to "stick" it to the top of the respective forum list.

How do they do it? Crazy glue? Duct tape? Wikkan chant?

I don't know, only special people know and they won't tell me. Not that I blame them heck if it were up to me I'd "sticky" stuff all over the place and then that would make stickies a moot point.

That's my definition of sticky and I'm sticking to it.

Sometimes that crazy mind of yours does some amazing things. Great post Jeff.

Okay - I THINK I moved this topic to a more prominent postion under Intro - Questions and Observations and made it sticky. Either that or I just created a rip in the fabric of the universe and we're all doomed.

Add me to the dentist list.
That makes 4.

Wow, my very first sticky. Jeez I've waited years and years for this. It's taken me over 6,000 posts to get here. Proving that eventually quantity will in fact trump quality. Also providing empirical evidence that if you throw enough "stuff" at the forum sooner or later something will "stick." I stand in awe of myself (well actually I'm seated but let's not get bogged down with the details).

Thank you, TJ.

bang-up, bully, corking, cracking, dandy, great, groovy, keen, neat, nifty, not bad(predicate), peachy, slap-up, swell, smashing, good (vs. bad) post Jeffie.

All this time I thought a "sticky" was a Post-It note.

Bing

I call stickies Sand Burrs, the natural Velcro.

Great post Jeff, and I read every word!

Jeff, I am w/o speech - that was great.

Jeff, great post and vastly informative, not to mention humorous, to me as a nearly one year member, but I am a little slow.

JHAP reinforces what I have seen from a lifetime as a CPA's son. After tax season, they have too much time on their hands!

Great post and very informative.

Insightful and entertaining. Good job. It should be required reading by new members.

JHAP, I take back my comment about wanting to know your nose to screen distance since you only cut and paste.

Obviously there is something ticking inside that noggin of yours.

Good work, my friend!

Hopefully TomG doesn't search for the word "ticking" using that Google search method you published.

JHAP; I wish it, TJ delivers. It's that easy!

For a post to have that much valuable info for new PondMeisters, it was a no brainer.

Congrats!

Thanks all for the kind words. I've edited 37 times already.
Once I realized it would be a sticky, man did that put the pressure on.

I need to step awayyyyy from the keyboard.


I wouldn't describe it as a ticking, its more of a....
whoosh,bing,clankel,clankel,whirrrr,zingaaa,bruuuppp,ding dong,twaaaaannnggg,yaaapooeee

and then back to the whoosh to start the process all over again.

A link to this thread should be included in a "Welcome to Pond Boss" private message that a user would automatically receive upon registering as a member.

oh boy....JHAP as the Walmart Pond Boss greeter

Do I get a vest? I think at the very least I should be given a vest. Oh and a name tag. A vest and a name tag that's all I'm asking for. Oh and a polo shirt. That's all, a vest, a name tag and a polo shirt. Well and some khaki pants. OK, a vest, a name tag, a polo shirt and some khaki pants. And maybe some comfortable shoes.