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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1 |
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,934 Likes: 2
Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,934 Likes: 2 |
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Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 10,458 Likes: 2
Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame Lunker
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Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame Lunker
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 10,458 Likes: 2 |
Nope, not fake we actually got that at work a couple years back and laughed quite hard. Heck, VA doesn't even allow you to smile in your DMV photos anymore. I guess Mississippi is a bit lax on their DMV photo policies...
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 7,099 Likes: 23
Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame Lunker
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Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame Lunker
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 7,099 Likes: 23 |
Our local DMV office let's you look at your pic and take another if you want.....the other local office is downright hateful.----guess which one is state run and which is a private contractor!!!
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
Hall of Fame 2015 Lunker
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Hall of Fame 2015 Lunker
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692 |
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 4,796 Likes: 14
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 4,796 Likes: 14 |
That's one of those questions that you end up answering yourself as it leaves your mouth.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 13,991 Likes: 283
Moderator Lunker
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Moderator Lunker
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 13,991 Likes: 283 |
A man works in Texas, collecting the tickets from people when they get on the bus.
He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman not quite on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as its Texas he's sent to the electric chair.
On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.
"Well", says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"
"Yes", answers the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana?"
The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it.
When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.
"Can I go then?", the man asks.
"I suppose so", says the executioner, "that's never happened before".
The man leaves and eventually gets a job with another bus company selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The guy is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair.
The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.
The man is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner.
"Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned man.
The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The man eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch.
Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the chair.
The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.
Well, would you believe it, the guy gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair yet again.
The executioner rigs up all southwest power grid supply to the chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.
"What's your final wish?", asks the executioner.
"Well", says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch?"
The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a bazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.
"I give up", says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it", he asked.
"Nahh" said the guy, "I'm just a really bad conductor"
"Live like you'll die tomorrow, but manage your grass like you'll live forever." -S. M. Stirling
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,934 Likes: 2
Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,934 Likes: 2 |
UGH !! watt the heck...gimme a breaker...you burn me up
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1 |
Toast. Fry Daddy, fry. I just now read the 'bottom line'. Absurd!.....you wasted about 20 minutes of my time.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,934 Likes: 2
Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,934 Likes: 2 |
2 minutes to read the joke and 18 minutes pondering if Theo's sig pic is the ticket collector or the executioner
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 16,063 Likes: 279
Moderator Lunker
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Moderator Lunker
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 16,063 Likes: 279 |
Entertainment must be really hard to come by in Ahia.
It's not about the fish. It's about the pond. Take care of the pond and the fish will be fine. PB subscriber since before it was in color.
Without a sense of urgency, Nothing ever gets done.
Boy, if I say "sic em", you'd better look for something to bite. Sam Shelley Rancher and Farmer Muleshoe Texas 1892-1985 RIP
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 131
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 131 |
I hope your fingers hurt from that nonsense...It's like a Michael Crichton novel all set up and no bang. Well what's another two minutes of my life considering the two hours of garbage(Grey's anatomy) that the wife watched in my vicinity.
Thank God for my laptop and the PB Forum...
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
Hall of Fame 2015 Lunker
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Hall of Fame 2015 Lunker
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692 |
I am not even going to respond, Cept' that was good! Theo!
Last edited by JKB; 05/21/10 10:55 PM.
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 4,796 Likes: 14
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 4,796 Likes: 14 |
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
Hall of Fame 2015 Lunker
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Hall of Fame 2015 Lunker
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692 |
While reading this thread, and contemplating it's very rich, in depth, conscionable, but yet provocative implications, I ran out of Cheetos!
See ya, I am off to the store!
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 8,854 Likes: 1
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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OP
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 8,854 Likes: 1 |
Holding a redear sunfish is like running with scissors.
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,135
Ambassador Lunker
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Ambassador Lunker
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,135 |
CAT-FISH
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 13,991 Likes: 283
Moderator Lunker
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Moderator Lunker
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 13,991 Likes: 283 |
Why did the Triploid Amur cross the road? Note the 7 foot tall police officer holding the "5 foot long" Grass Carp.
"Live like you'll die tomorrow, but manage your grass like you'll live forever." -S. M. Stirling
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 7,615 Likes: 5
Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 7,615 Likes: 5 |
“I would just assume someone was late night fishing last night and it [the "five foot" Armur] probably fell off the back of his truck,” Richter said. I wonder if the fisherman was driving a turnip truck.
JHAP ~~~~~~~~~~ "My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives." ...Hedley Lamarr (that's Hedley not Hedy)
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
Hall of Fame 2015 Lunker
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Hall of Fame 2015 Lunker
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692 |
They just had this on our local news, with an interview of the officer. I think he was measuring this in Doughnuts, like the circumference of his belly. Other than that, he would have to be on the VERY plus side of 7 feet tall! And I know, doughnuts kinda stop at the middle, and lack of, kinda makes one delirious.
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
Hall of Fame 2015 Lunker
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Hall of Fame 2015 Lunker
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692 |
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 414
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 414 |
PAUL
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 16,063 Likes: 279
Moderator Lunker
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Moderator Lunker
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 16,063 Likes: 279 |
Wow!! Looks like fun but is obviously a real problem.
It's not about the fish. It's about the pond. Take care of the pond and the fish will be fine. PB subscriber since before it was in color.
Without a sense of urgency, Nothing ever gets done.
Boy, if I say "sic em", you'd better look for something to bite. Sam Shelley Rancher and Farmer Muleshoe Texas 1892-1985 RIP
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
Hall of Fame 2015 Lunker
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Hall of Fame 2015 Lunker
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692 |
Wow!! Looks like fun but is obviously a real problem. It is a real problem
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Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 414
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 414 |
PAUL
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