Pond Boss Forums GENERAL QUESTIONS Pond Boss Joke

One day, thanks to the US Military, Bin Laden finally got what he's been asking for, killed! So he finds himself standing at the pearly gates only to find them closed. So he starts yelling, hey, God, I died for you and now I'm waiting for my reward. The gates didn't budge. Later, the gates opened, George Washington strolled out and proceeded to beat the %&%#@ out of Bin Laden. Some time after George left the doors opened again and Thomas Jefferson came out and did the same thing. One by one 68 more famous Americans came out and beat the crap out of him. As Bin Laden was laying on the ground looking like raw meat he cried out to God. "God what did I do wrong? Where is my reward?" God's voice echoed out from behind the doors and said "you fool, as usual you totally misinterpreted my Word, the scriptures, I never said that if you died terrorizing America that you'd recieve 70 virgins, it was 70 Virginians!"

http://www.youshock.com/skills/sheep_reaction_test#


My best time was 0.2792

This was after about twenty tries. I had lots of times in the low .3's

0.125 on first try. I'm sure your patients are glad your not too fast when doing their teeth!

It even said I'm a bobcat. Now I feel like a snail.

OK, I repositioned myself. Got my butt off the bed. Got in a crouched position...

Still can't seem to get my average under .27

Sheepdip.

2 attempts not including when I shot myself in the foot and went to sleep.

Avg .214

Best time .175

It called me an Armadillo and told me I needed coffee - after I just finished a Diet Dew1

Another blonde joke:

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'



The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,

'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'

He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..' he said with a deep sigh, . .. . . . . .


'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'

That's awesome. I'm dyin' here.

Shootin' the sheep.

Something an "aggy" would do.

bz --

you laugh now

we'll see who's laughin' when they find the one that shaped like the state of Illinois

or the mother mary...sorry...my bad, back to my corner now.

...seriously
did ya catch this one on the media?

No sheep for you.

That must be your bid huh Brettski?

"Great Illinois Corn Flake"? Hah! It looks more like a noseless Davy Crockett wearing a mink stole.

You saw what happened to gold, didn't ya?

Barnum was right. There really is a sucker born every minute. Evidently no shortage of them.

Of course, had I gotten a corn flake that size, i would never have thought to try to sell it.

DD1, it's not the size of that flake, it's the shape! It looks like George Burns.

Yes Brettski, my brother tried to talk me into buying a bunch of gold a year ago, he sells it. Wish I would have bought $50 grand.

Another blonde joke:

The blonde got job in the M&M factory in quality control She got fired after the first day for rejecting half the run of candy. She went home and told her boy friend what happened. "Those idiots," she says, "they apparently don't realize that half the candy they make has W's on them.

All you southerners are getting too busy to read jokes I'm sure. Here up north we just got 6 inches of snow and I'm still waiting for 18 inches of ice to melt.

Remember the blonde who tried to assemble the corn flakes puzzle? Well, she was embarassed so she figured she would go to the store and buy a real puzzle and impress her boy friend with her intelligence. At the store the clerk showed her the puzzle selection and she bought a good one. When she got home she called her boy friend and told him that he couldn't see what she was doing in the den until she finished something that was going to be a surprise. Well, 6 months went by. Finally she told her boy friend that he could come into the den and see the surprise. He immediately saw the puzzle on the table and it was totally complete. Nice job on the puzzle he said, but where's the surprise. "The puzzle", she said, "I'll have you know I got that puzzle together all by myself and it only took me six months." "Six, months!" the boy friend exclaimed. "Yeah, it only took me six months even though the box said 2 to 4 years!"

I was rated a sluggish snail. It told me to get more coffee so I am, bye.

...sold for $1350. I wonder what a corn flake shaped like Nebraska would fetch?