Your cellphone is covered in more scales and fish slime than your bluegills.

You have a different pump sprayer for every day of the week.

You can name all of the ingredients in a bag of AQ, but you have no idea what's in the meatloaf you're having for supper.

You can set a conibear 110 with your hands held behind your back.

You know the difference between "moss" and algae.

You insist you're a Pisces, even though you were born in April.

When folks ask what yer sign is and ya reply Feces.
What do ya call three Hoosiers on the same topic? ... Pathetic!!
Come on Cecil, make it tragic.

You're the only one in your circle of friends who can work "chubby darter" into a sentence without snickering.

You can't drive by a small creek or valley without saying, "They should put a dam there!"

Whoa... Cabin fever seems to be a few months early now.

Don't think it's cabin fever. More than likely Sparky is over anxious ta make more syrup.
JKB, not sure what "fancy blue attire" is referring to. Seems ta me those white jackets that tie in the back are called Straight, not to be confused with the folks wearin em.

Aha...classic!

If you have sent more than one letter to the FBI demanding GBH and WT be added to the top 10 wanted dead or alive list!

You think "swimming with the fishes" is a good thing

You know what a limnologist does

You know what eutrophic means

You spend more money on fish food than people food

You are convinced that a large girth and having 130% RW is something
to brag about

You told your wife when she was pregnant she looks beautiful when she is gravid....

You can ID invasive pond plants from a blurry photo that was taken 100 yds from the pond but have no idea what to spray on the weeds in your lawn, let alone know what the weeds are called.

Great one!

You know that "stratified" does not mean " shot full of holes"

You spend quiet time pondering the enigmas that have baffled man since time began....why do long ears have red breasts while red breasts have long ears?

Or why do people say frog legs taste like chicken instead of chicken tastes likes frog legs...the evolutionists will tell you the frogs were here first!

You installed a K&N filter on your twin cylinder, rocking piston aeration compressor, and you're considering swapping in a set of high compression pistons.

(Might need to be a gear head for that one.)

The first 2 are a bit personal...

...you see a truly gross looking pond while travelling down an Interstate highway covered in FA, find the owner and try to sell them Tilapia, and if they can't afford them, stock some for free....

...you barely resist the urge to slap a friend when they call saying, "I just added 200 White Crappie" to a 3yo, perfectly stocked 1/2 acre smallie pond, and THEN ask, "think it'll mess anything up?"....

...you like Green Sunfish....

...your pregnant wife tells you while you're fishing that her water just broke, and you say, just 2 more casts hun....

...your wife tells you that you love your pond more than her, and you have to mentally debate the merits of both....

...you spend 50 grand on dirt work for a 2 acre pond, 5 grand on aeration, 3 grand on fish food and feeders, 5 grand on fish, 10 grand on a covered dock, 5 grand on landscaping, catch a 6" fish on the first ever cast into the new creation on a crisp morning at sunrise, you're alone as mist is rising up off the water you look up, proud, seeing the awesome beauty of it all and your only thought is, Man!, why didn't I do this years ago?!?!?

Guys, we were lured into this one. I'm sure Sparky had envisioned this post months ago and spent said time preparing a list of accurate responses.

Nope. Just conceived the idea today. Been a somber week on the forum, thought it might lighten the mood a bit.

Gotta' dig deep, Bob!

I concede. I gave up digging when I found out how to electrify worms out of the ground. WAIT, that should qualify as another reason, right?

Perfect!!

You're aware that "flexing the membrane" is not code speak used to describe some activity not usually discussed in polite company.

While watching an episode of "lake Life" with some friends, you see a shot with Norris lake in the background, and you casually, with a complete air of indifference, remark "I told you I've fished there, right?"

You think license to kill is cool, but license to rotenone is even better.

You're totally in favor of implanting tracking chips to monitor your fishies movements, but you refuse to pay OnStar to perform the same service for your new truck.

And I just happen to have both.........

You're the only one who says RW and/or WR on a regular basis and neither know nor care which one is right.

You're the only one around whose pets eat their babies and think it's a good thing.

You hang out with a bunch of loonies whose name you don't know but can tell anyone how deep their water holes are.

You know more about pond weeds than lawn weeds.

You know that there is no such thing as a self sustaining pond.

You stop calling all sunfish perch.

You drop $1,000 on a fish feeder and justify it to your Wife.

You worry more about what to feed your fish than you do your children.

You acknowledge the difference between taking a road trip out west someplace, and embarking upon a pilgrimage to Nebraska.

Your kids run around talking about the effects of low DO, how to make spawning beds, and think LMB are the devil.

You own a "water resistant" cell phone and regularly rinsed it off with pond water.

(I have accidentally done this twice to my cell phone this summer.)

You have more water in garage for fish than the kids swimming pool in the back yard.

You stand on the bank of your pond with a small bag of fish pellets and a pair of pliers....so you can crush the pellets and feed the small fish along the bank.

Not that I know anyone that does that.... ;-)

Sean

Even your fishing buddies think you are crazy for the amount of time you spend weighing, measuring and charting the fish you catch.

Cmm

Your buddies boats have names like Ranger, Tracker, or Skeeter. Yours however, is a Smith-Root........

If you don't mind skimming a little FA off the pond and spend way way to much time examining each net full to see what kinda critters you caught!

.... or made from cardboard.

You might be a pond junkie if, after building one pond, you plan your next pond and the nest pond and so on. Hum, from a Fishaholic to a pond junkie. I may have an underlying problem that I am just starting to recognize.

Tracy

...if you went to Pond Boss III for the otolith aging, but stayed for the lepomis sexing.....


(credit: Theo Gallus)

Pond enthusiasts?

Don't know who these folks are, but it's how life should feel at any age!

I started laughing out loud when I read that one.

If the first thing in the morning you ignore the sports section, the finance section, and the headlines, but find out more of what you want to know on PB Forum..

The forum goes down and your productivity goes up.

That really didn't happen now, did it?

Forum goes down and you're jonesing for a fix, so you keep calm but can't keep your mind from reeling about the possibilities. You try every gadget you have that connects to the internet to see if that may be the problem, then you reboot everything multiple times and still no joy.

Then you sit back in your chair and conclude that Dwight may have fat fingered something. (just kidding Dwight)

You know the acre feet and volume of your pond and most of your buddies but don't know the square footage of your house.
You can remember all that complex information but not your anniversary .

When every property you drive by you judge for pond worthiness.

You attend a pond seminar put on by the state, and the biologists groan when they recognize you sitting in the audience.

The property you are considering purchasing is next door to a hazardous materials landfill, the carpenter who built the house apparently suffered from macropsia, there's a sinkhole on the place that emits sulfurous fumes, and roving bands of gypsies camp in the woods.

Then you discover that the pond leaks and is filled with warring factions of Green Sunfish and Gizzard Shad, and you have to call the deal off.

U might be a pond junkie if while driving those back roads, u search for things that might make a great fish attractor when sunk in the pond. Things like old pvc, tires along the rd, abandoned Sputnick kind of things.

Tracy

....you make sure your cell phone is fully charged, you have handy pocket tape measure, and a pen & tally book with you along with your fishing tackle before you head out to fish....

...you wake up way before daylight on weekends, grab your pants, and announce to your wife that you're going down to the pond to watch the fish feed....

...you start using vocabulary like prolific, gravid, and tannin in normal everyday conversations...

...you FedEx so many water samples in to have tested that you and the FedEx guy are on a first name basis...

...you call or text one of your fellow PB pals and ask him how is pond is doing, before you ask him anything else...

You carry a hook with some line wound around it in your wallet just in case an opportunity presents itself to fish........I actually did this when I was in my early teens and was still hitting the country roads on my bicycle when I had a break from the farm!

LOL!! Now this one I do all the time!!! Good one liquidsquid!!!

RC

When you go on a Mule cruise with your wife and search out area ponds that you have spotted with GPS.

You invite friends and their kids, they catch their first fish, the lump in your throat is too much to handle and it turns to tears because of seeing this:



And when they see you they ask "is everything ok?"

This brother and sister pulled in their first fish at the same time, after several hours of this didn't want to leave, and gave me the biggest hugs when they did .

It doesn't get any better than that!

PS - I would love to see a thread created of pictures like this; kids catching fish!

Keith, your pictures go from disgusting flyin flab ta delightful happy kids. Did your adventure with Fatih disturb your posting priorities?
You should start the kids catching fish thread with that pic. I think that would become a loooong running thread.

The more you do and accomplish the more you are sure there are a bunch more things. that need to be done !!!!!!!

+1 You are never DONE