Pond Boss
Posted By: jeffhasapond I confess - 01/12/10 11:22 PM
I watched a news report this morning that included a segment in which Mark McGwire confessed that he used steroids in his quest to beat the baseball home run record.

In the spirit of full disclosure, and using McGwire as in inspiration, I feel that I must come clean about something. In 2008, when I caught the Hidden Lake Ranch record LMB I was using beeroids.

I was not however using beeroids when I caught the record setting GSF as far as you know.

I would almost give odds that when Brettski reads this he'll think about a hemorrhoid joke.


Posted By: Theo Gallus Re: I confess - 01/12/10 11:56 PM
I thought you were using salad dressing.
Posted By: Yolk Sac Re: I confess - 01/13/10 12:01 AM
Well, I have to say that this does clarify some things about which I've been confused, namely, how such a humorous, articulate, well rounded and generally together guy like JHAP can be such a vigorous proponent of a dubious character like the green sunfish.

He's being poisoned!!

Dude, you need to get rid of the beeroids and DRINK REAL BEER! I would not speculate as to the bilious nature of the swill you are currently ingesting, but I would guess that is contains less than 70 calories, is clear as water, and is produced by a division of the Kraft company from left over Velveeta secretions. My advice to correct this is to review the contents of Dwight's freezer, and choose any from this selection.

You'll be getting rid of Rikki's pink lure and be threading on those GSF instead in no time.




Posted By: Cisco Re: I confess - 01/13/10 12:08 AM
That's funny Yolk. I only wish I was so articulate. I personally stick with the red white and blue cans for refreshment. I don't want to start bashing the green sunfish until I have some experience with them.
Posted By: Yolk Sac Re: I confess - 01/13/10 12:21 AM
 Originally Posted By: Cisco
I don't want to start bashing the green sunfish until I have some experience with them.

You do not need experience with green sunfish to display the animosity towards them which is natural upon encountering a vile and repulsive life form. It's instinctive, like that which occurs between a chicken and a snake.

However, I would advise you to review Mortimers experience with the GSA [to which hopefully some helpful moderator will link]; you definitely need to familiarize yourself with the risks of messing with the GSA before you wade into this controversial subject. I wore my mylar boxers to work, which is the only reason I have the confidence to tangle with JHAP today.
Posted By: JKB Re: I confess - 01/13/10 12:37 AM
 Originally Posted By: Yolk Sac
[quote=Cisco] I wore my mylar boxers to work, which is the only reason I have the confidence to tangle with JHAP today.


Mylar, what are you thinking You need the enhanced pooferingonite boxers to deal with the GSFA. Hey, if they can shield the Man of Steel from Advanced bean flatulence, then JHAP and the Death Star should not be too much of a problem ;\)

Then you will have a method of "Perpetual Motion" to drive them back
Posted By: Cisco Re: I confess - 01/13/10 12:41 AM
I'll get out of the pond on this one. It sounds like I might have a lashing coming from JHAP if I'm not careful!
Posted By: JKB Re: I confess - 01/13/10 12:57 AM
 Originally Posted By: Cisco
I'll get out of the pond on this one. It sounds like I might have a lashing coming from JHAP if I'm not careful!


JHAP is a jhap. No lashing's shall be incurred because our first test's on the Zagnacolony Defense and Counter Attack System was a great success.

Tricky one that JHAP is, no doubt, one of their counter un-intelligent moves is to throw us off the trail of Marsha.

It is so secretive, it can only be linked by search engines to here.

Watch out for the More Powerful ZDCAS and hopefully we can find Marcia.
Posted By: 2catmom Re: I confess - 01/13/10 01:48 AM
JKB:
I've actually met JHAP, oh yeah, look out. I went to the top of the thread and saw "steroids"........ Well, here's a story for ya all: The guy that rents our old little building next door, came to pay the rent, and he looked so different. Besides losing about 8" of hair, he had a beard, and looked really puffy. I just saw him last month, o.k. I said "Jay you look different." He said "I'm taking testosterone,my Dr. says I'm low in it." I said o.k., and he said none of his clothes fit. I just say him last month.
My advice, stop taking it right away.
Posted By: JKB Re: I confess - 01/13/10 02:39 AM
 Originally Posted By: 2catmom
JKB:
I've actually met JHAP, oh yeah, look out. I went to the top of the thread and saw "steroids"........ Well, here's a story for ya all: The guy that rents our old little building next door, came to pay the rent, and he looked so different. Besides losing about 8" of hair, he had a beard, and looked really puffy. I just saw him last month, o.k. I said "Jay you look different." He said "I'm taking testosterone,my Dr. says I'm low in it." I said o.k., and he said none of his clothes fit. I just say him last month.
My advice, stop taking it right away.



2cat, you are too kind to foster a warning. That last burp, I could have made it sound like a warning to the GSA. Albeit a bit uncontrolled, but with the proper Sound Equipment and Engineering, could have been a Deafening Roar, that would reverberate (I like that mode) to the souls of there feet. The GSF would probably ignore it lest I beamed in a predator, (Dwight) like say, a 50" Tiger Muskie. I know, bylaws and all that stuff, but if I could drop A Tiger or two in JHAP's tank, the world would not have a GSA. That would be too easy.

We are going to send waterfowl to CA with cute little baby gear attached to their feet, with secret ammo. Our plan, how devious as it is, shall remove the GSF in it's entirety, over time, but We are patient. This is a war of what color green you like.
Posted By: jeffhasapond Re: I confess - 01/13/10 04:02 PM
 Originally Posted By: Theo Gallus
I thought you were using salad dressing.


We make salad dressing, we don't abuse salad dressing.

 Originally Posted By: Theo Gallus, from the thread "Fishing Report!"
I've been meaning to ask you, JHAP, do you and JWHAP have your own brand of salad dressing?


 Originally Posted By: JHAP from the thread "Fishing Report!"
Yes we do Theo. Under the brand name of "Hidden Lake Ranch Located in El Dorado California and not in any way affiliated with the "other" Hidden Ranch" (the pesky lawers made us put in the last part in small type so as to avoid a law suit, something about copyright infringement or something). We are marketing the following dressings:

Two Thousand Island Dressing. It's twice as good!

Honey Ketchup Dressing. When Honey Mustard just won't do.

Green with Brown Spots Cheese Dressing. Everyone makes a blue cheese, why not a green with brown spots cheese dressing. Besides we have a lot of it growing being stored in the fridge.

Cleopatra Salad Dressing. A good compliment to Caesar Salad Dressing.

German Salad Dressing. Since French and the Italians have their own salad dressing why shouldn't the Germans. (As a side note it's primary ingredient is some great German beer. It's good on a salad or just drank when chilled. Mmmmmmm.)

All of these are quite tasty on a nice Elodea Salad.

Posted By: jeffhasapond Re: I confess - 01/13/10 04:08 PM
I have warned you blasphemers in the past about the consequences of messing with the GSA. I shall offer this as a reminder.

Mortimer gets his due.
Posted By: ewest Re: I confess - 01/14/10 02:05 AM
Go Greenies !!! ;\)
Posted By: Cisco Re: I confess - 01/14/10 02:08 AM
Looks like the GSA is serious about their GSF!
Posted By: JKB Re: I confess - 01/14/10 11:58 PM
 Originally Posted By: Cisco
Looks like the GSA is serious about their GSF!


Exactly!
That is why we are going to covert operations. Unseen, Unheard, totally Stealth.

Is that really a Wood Duck, or even a rock by the pond??? What about some of them non-threatening leaves, or the super hyper squirrel that seems to be doing squirrel stuff \:D

See, with covert ops', you don't really know if that was a laugh or not.
Posted By: 2catmom Re: I confess - 01/19/10 02:54 AM
You guys,
I am not a bimbo, repeat, not a bimbo, but frankly I'm a little lost here...............
Posted By: Omaha Re: I confess - 01/19/10 03:09 AM
 Originally Posted By: 2catmom
You guys,
I am not a bimbo, repeat, not a bimbo, but frankly I'm a little lost here...............


If it makes you feel any better, I really never know what's going on here.
Posted By: burgermeister Re: I confess - 01/19/10 03:30 AM
 Originally Posted By: 2catmom
You guys,
I am not a bimbo, repeat, not a bimbo, but frankly I'm a little lost here...............


You're in good company. It's called cabin fever. Even here in the south, people talking about ice out and stuff. This GW is
getting crazy.
Posted By: Rainman Re: I confess - 01/19/10 04:14 AM
 Originally Posted By: JKB
We are going to send waterfowl to CA with cute little baby gear attached to their feet, with secret ammo. Our plan, how devious as it is, shall remove the GSF in it's entirety, over time, but We are patient. This is a war of what color green you like.


Tilapia, highly trained in the art of GSF erradication, have been on a mission to find Hidden Valley lake for 11 months now with little success. There were garbled reports of sighting JHAP and after cleaning up the messages it seems they were captured. The reports described being tortured by being rolled in cornmeal and waterboarded with lemon juice and upon refusing to disclose the location of their bretheren, they were boiled in oil!


The GSA are evil I tell you, EVIL!
Posted By: Brettski Re: I confess - 01/19/10 11:52 AM
Not to mention their utter disrespect for the Geneva Pond Boss convention
Posted By: jeffhasapond Re: I confess - 01/19/10 03:24 PM
The GSA considers Tilapia little more than a mere nuisance. After all who can take a fish seriously that can't survive in 50 degree water temperature. Tilapia are very tasty though.

You people need to face some reality here. GSF are a superior sunfish plane and simple. They have the unique ability to survive in the worst conditions, their aggression level is almost unmatched amongst sunfish, their ability to appear in almost any pond is magic like. Simply put they have the mouth and attitude of a LMB contained within a stunningly beautiful package.

Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. We have spoken.


Posted By: Omaha Re: I confess - 01/19/10 03:40 PM
First time I caught a GSF I thought it was some sort of hybrid LMB/sunfish.
Posted By: Todd3138 Re: I confess - 01/19/10 04:02 PM
 Originally Posted By: jeffhasapond
You people need to face some reality here. GSF are a superior sunfish plane and simple.


Knowing what I know about green sunfish and their violent tendencies, this makes the concept of snakes on a plane seem like child's play!
(Sorry JHAP, I know it's bad form to point out spelling errors, but this one just begged for it!)


 Originally Posted By: jeffhasapond
Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated. We have spoken.


We're all toast now - GSF have been assimilated by the Borg and mission is no longer one of assimilation, but of outright destruction!
Posted By: jeffhasapond Re: I confess - 01/19/10 04:07 PM
Todd, there is nothing wrong with the way I spelled plane.

Just remember too wrongs don't make a wright. \:D


Posted By: Theo Gallus Re: I confess - 01/19/10 04:13 PM
 Originally Posted By: jeffhasapond
GSF ... have the unique ability to survive in the worst conditions, their aggression level is almost unmatched amongst sunfish, their ability to appear in almost any pond is magic like. Simply put they have the mouth and attitude of a LMB contained within a stunningly beautiful package.

He doesn't even have to make this stuff up.
Posted By: Todd3138 Re: I confess - 01/19/10 04:31 PM
 Originally Posted By: jeffhasapond
Todd, there is nothing wrong with the way I spelled plane.

Just remember too wrongs don't make a wright. \:D



I stand corrected (and also stand in a aluminum foil bodysuit in fear of GSF/Borg Cube Death Stars zipping to my location at this very moment!)!

And just curious, wasn't Wrong the third Wright Brother - you know, besides Wilbur and Orville?!
Posted By: TOM G Re: I confess - 01/19/10 09:36 PM
I dont worry about the GSA anymore.I am now wearing antiGSA aftershave.
Posted By: Dave Davidson1 Re: I confess - 01/20/10 12:15 AM
Hey, you're back. After Shave is pretty useless. It doesn't protect the body parts that the GSA zaps first.
Posted By: Rainman Re: I confess - 01/22/10 12:44 AM
 Originally Posted By: jeffhasapond
Todd, there is nothing wrong with the way I spelled plane.

Just remember too wrongs don't make a wright. \:D




3 lefts do!
Posted By: Bing Re: I confess - 01/22/10 01:19 AM
Misspellers of the world -- Untie

Bing
Posted By: jeffhasapond Re: I confess - 01/22/10 04:46 PM
\:D \:D \:D
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