Pond Boss Forums INTRO Questions & Observations How many PB Members to Change a Light Bulb?

How Many PB Forum Members Does It Take To Change a Light Bulb?
(adapted from another site by hitting it with a large hammer, filing off the sharp edges, and painting it to match)

1 to post "Hi! Great site! I'm a new member and my light bulb has burned out" .

1 to tell (no more than 3 minutes later) how to change the light bulb.

1 to say "Didn't we have a light bulb thread a couple of months ago?"

1 to say "Do a search on 'light bulbs' and you'll get about a dozen threads with good info."

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently (including 3 on how it would work if light bulbs had left-hand metric threads, which they really should).

1 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

22 to describe the stupidest mistakes they have ever made changing light bulbs.

1 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

1 to politely scold the spell checker for being overly picky.

1 to ask why Bob Lusk can't have a spell-checker put on the forum.

3 to explain ways to spell check your post using other software.

1 industry professional to inform the forum that the proper term is "lamp".

2 who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.

1 to post that the forum is not about light bulbs and ask politely if the moderators should remove the thread.

The original poster, who explains how the light bulb is at his/her pond.

36 who agree that any discussion of pond light bulbs has a proper place at the forum.

2 (ewest and a ewest prot�g�) who post 23 links to other forum threads where light bulbs have been discussed before, plus 6 links to off-site info on light bulbs provided by state universities and regional light bulb changing centers.

1 to note that the next issue of PB Mag will contain an article on how NASCAR's Tony Stewart has the light bulbs changed at his pond.

14 who note that you should subscribe to PB Mag.

1 to ask when Bob Lusk's book on changing light bulbs will be available.

1 who notes that while the above posts provide plenty of info on changing light bulbs, light bulbs aren't any good at ponds without electricity. You might want to consider some sort of wind-powered lighting system.

1 who notes that wind-powered lighting sources only work when the wind blows. Doesn't the wind usually die down after dark, when we really need the light?

1 to note that with battery back-up, a wind powered lighting system will provide all the light you need (unless you are really pushing the envelope on the total biomass of fish in your pond). Here's how I set up my battery-backed wind-powered lighting system...

1 to ask if he can run light to his pond cheaper and easier than he can run electric to it. The pond is 1200 yards from the nearest source of light and electricity.

2 to explain how light can be run to your pond through underground fiber optic cable, but that providing it in useful quantities is cost-prohibitive.

1 to post a picture of a light bulb being changed.

1 to post a picture of Bruce Condello that they claim resembles a light bulb.

1 to ask for the directions on how to post a picture.

1 to post links to the threads on picture posting. This is followed by four posts with evolutionary stages of picture posting, the first three with various errors and the fourth showing a picture of Theo's cat dressed as a pirate changing a light bulb.

39 who take the thread somewhat off-topic on a discussion of pirates, diet mountain dew, the number of light bulbs at Guvner Davidson's mansion, and movies in which Bruce Condello has appeared portraying a character who changes a light bulb.

1 who regales us with tales of how in every movie in which he changed a light bulb, he got to kiss a beautiful Portuguese brunette actress.

1 to politely bring the thread back on the topic of changing light bulbs in the world of pond management.

1 poster that has converted all his light bulbs to fluorescents, so he very rarely has to change them. Plus they're more energy efficient, so his electric bills are lower and he has more money left over to buy fingerlings for stocking.

2 to post how they have refurbished used light bulbs to a working condition with a small amount of parts, several thousands of dollars worth of tools, and 3 � hours labor per bulb.

1 to tell how to make your own light bulbs from things you have laying around your farm.

2 to suggest that the moderators add the light bulb changing thread to the archives.

1 to ask what the archives are.

2 to explain what the archives are, and post links to them.

1 to ask how Bill Cody changes light bulbs. Not that all the previous posts aren't good info, but Bill really knows these things.

1 lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.