Alligator:This is Mr. 12 Point Buck. We have knocked Gator out of his tree stand and commandeered (no pun intended) his blackberry. In order to insure his unharmed release you will agree to the following demands...
1. You will send of 50 bags of Purina Deer Chow, nothing else will be excepted. We don't want any of that cheap K-Mart Deer Chow.
2. You will send us three, no make that five salt licks. And none of the substitute "I can't believe it's not salt" licks. We want the real stuff.
3. In the future Gator will only be allowed to hunt this area using nothing more that a rubber band gun. And none of those fat rubber bands, just the skinny, flimsy ones.
4. You will send more does, nice and friendly ones, with loose moral values.
Do not contact the police, the FBI, or the Game Warden. We will contact you later with additional details.
