Hi everyone, Here is a funny one about Texas.

Subject: Fwd: FW: Texas Journal
>Date: Thu, 3 Aug 2006 06:02:58 -0700 (PDT)
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> Subject: Texas Journal
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> Just moved to TEXAS ! Now this is a state that knows how to live!!
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>Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. What a place! It is
>beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
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>June 14th:
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>Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an
>air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car.
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> What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into
>a sun worshipper.
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>June 30th:
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>Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus
>and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing the lawn for me.
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>Another scorcher today, but I love it here.
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>July 10th:
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>The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How do people get used
>to this kind of heat?
> At least, it's kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat
>is taking longer than I expected.
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>July 15th:
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>Fell asleep by the community pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my
>body). Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do.
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> I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate
>like this.
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>July 20th:
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>I missed Baby (my cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.
>By the time I got to the hot car at noon, Baby had died and swollen up
>to the size of a shopping bag, then popped like a water balloon.
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>The car now smells like Kibbles and Kits.
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> I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
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> Good ol' Mr. Sun strikes again.
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> July 25th:
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>The wind sucks. It feels like a giant flippin blow dryer!!
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> And it's hot as heck. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and
>the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to
>order parts.
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>July 30th:
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>Been sleeping outside on the patio for 3 nights now, $225,000 house and
>I can't even go inside. Baby is the lucky one. Why did I ever come here?
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>Aug. 4th:
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>It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
>$500 and gets the temperature down to 85. I hate this stupid state.
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>Aug. 8th:
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>If another person wise cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to
>strangle him. Dang heat. By the time I get to work, the radiator is
>boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
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>Aug. 9th:
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>Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and when I sat on
>the seats in the car, I thought my rear was on fire.
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> My skin melted to the seat. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the
>hair on the back of my legs and rear . . . Now my car smells like burnt
>hair and baked cat.
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>Aug 10th:
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>The weather report might as well be a recording. Hot and sunny.
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>Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2 months
>and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
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> Doesn't it ever rain in this state? Water rationing will be next,
>so my $1700 worth of cactus will just dry up and blow over.
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> Even the cactus can't live in this heat.
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>Aug. 14th:
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>Welcome to HELL! Temperature got to 115 today. Cactus are dead.
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>Forgot to crack the window and blew the dang windshield out of the car.
>The installer came to fix it and guess what he asked me??? "Hot enough
>for you today?"
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>My sister had to spend $1,500 to bail me out of jail. I HATE TEXAS.
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>What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??
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>Will write later to let you know how the trial goes.
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- Smoke 'em if you got 'em

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