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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627 |
Eric West, a true Southern Gentleman
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 137
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 137 |
Ya'll missed the best one. Yankees are like Hemmoroids (sp). If the come down and go back up they are ok. If they come down and stay , they are a PAIN in the ass.
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 21,536 Likes: 279
Moderator Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
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Moderator Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 21,536 Likes: 279 |
Thanks Bill I am honored to know I am in the same group along with you and many others here.
Casca there must not be any Yankees on the forum as I have not met any northerners here that fit that description. I have met a few people like that but not here.
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 137
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 137 |
And by the way, my old man was from Appleton , Wis. So I guess I am half a pain myself.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1 |
Casca, " not withstanding anything contained herein to the contrary" I hereby solemnly swear, Ah never said or even thought that about any of our Northern brethren. Now, Southern brethren, I reserve judgment.
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 14,033 Likes: 300
Moderator Lunker
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Moderator Lunker
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 14,033 Likes: 300 |
"What's the difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee?
A Yankee comes down to Florida, spends all his money, and leaves.
A Damn Yankee comes down to Florida, spends all his money, and stays."
-told to me by a Tampa native.
"Live like you'll die tomorrow, but manage your grass like you'll live forever." -S. M. Stirling
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 33
Member
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Member
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 33 |
My personal favorite from my Grandfather, referring to a less than honest person. " I wouldn't trust him in an outhouse with a muzzle on." He actually didn't use the term "outhouse' but I cleaned it up for posting here.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,365
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,365 |
He lies so much that his hogs won't even come when he calls them".
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Joined: May 2005
Posts: 163
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: May 2005
Posts: 163 |
How can we forget the classic "he slicker than deer guts on a doorknob" or "that woman is a taco short of a combo platter"...
And in the South, gun control means using both hands!
Carl Spackler: "This place got a pool?" Ty Webb: "Pool and a pond. Pond would be good for you..."
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,319
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,319 |
When we spent money on things my dad considered unwise. He would say " you might as well throw your money up a wild hog's ass and holler suey. I miss him
In Dog Beers, I've had one.
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 551
Ambassador <br /> Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador <br /> Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 551 |
In my area, there is a new race here. They are "half-backs". These are Yankees that moved to Florida, did not like the heat and moved half way back to North Carolina.
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,365
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,365 |
Originally posted by heybud: When we spent money on things my dad considered unwise. He would say " you might as well throw your money up a wild hog's ass and holler suey. I miss him My fovorite so far!!!! I'm still laughing, and the way it's going, it may last all day!
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 821
Lunker
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OP
Lunker
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 821 |
...
- No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
- Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues, we do "lines"; and when we're in line," we talk to everybody!
- Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
- To those of you who're still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart!
- And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, ya'll need a sign to hang on ya' front porch that reads "I ain't from the South but I got here as fast as I could."
Gator
- Smoke 'em if you got 'em
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Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 823
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2003
Posts: 823 |
My friends in Abilene laughed ever so hard, when I admitted (actually spit coffee outta my nose) that I'd not heard the phrase "...like a diamond inna billygoat's a**..." ...and that was in a staff meeting with a VP...
In a lifetime, the average driver will honk 15,250 times. My wife figures I'm due to die any day now...
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,934 Likes: 2
Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 6,934 Likes: 2 |
...like puttin' perfume on a pig and sendin' it to Sunday School
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 24
Member
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Member
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 24 |
My mother from Miss. was fond of saying "it's colder than a witches tit!" One time she was trying to get a turkey unstuck from the bottom of a pan (hadn't used a rack) when it came unstuck it flew out of the pan and onto the floor! She exclaimed "nobody saw that turkey fall on the floor!" We say that regularly now when we do something we wish no one saw. The latest is "dealio": it has many applications What is the dealio? Delio!!! when excited Kids argueing a point: "delio" a revised version of "because I said so" or "end of conversation" remember those? Hated it! Glad to have found an updated version. Can't say the things the 'rents said that were so irritating.
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1 |
Good ones, Sara. I'll bet that floor the turkey fell on was clean enough to eat off of, too.
We used to say colder than a witches tit in a brass bra. Or, colder than a well digger's butt in Idaho.
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 120
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 120 |
Sorry to make this X-rated, but I couldn't resist.
When you live in the south, you've definitely been doing this on a summer afternoon: "Sweatn' Like a Whore in Church."
0.6 acre pond / 13' max depth / Bonham, TX
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 24
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Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 24 |
I don't know how clean the floor was but I know there was a house full of us waiting for that 20 pounder. Whatchagonado? Were you saying I wasn't a lady? I look like one, don't tell. Just kidding, only my best friends figured out what you got right off... How about "worried sick" I have a new topic no one has responded to that I am worried sick about: 'bout adding too much aluminum sulfate. On top of that I let my peacocks out for the night and they ended up in different trees and are screaming a lot. Last night it was the dogs, tonight it is the dogs with him responding. One of my neighbors is prob. going to call me...something. I thought of another saying: 'bout like to turn me on! I don't know why that cracks me up. My kids could crawl in a hole when I say that, who could blame them! Anyway how about mosying over to my other post and advising and consoling me. If you succeed, then I'll only have the peafowl keeping me up all night! aaahhh
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 1 |
Jimmy wheels, we have all sweated like that(good 0ne), and have been as fidgetty(sp) or nervous as one, too. BTW...interested in your solar aeration system. Have you got it in the water yet? If not, can you please post the motor label info(current, cfm, @psi etc), and if you have, are there any specs on the system? Can you tell us what depth you have it in and how long you have it running. tnx
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627 |
Heard a good one over the weekend.
Southern girl is taking her first airplane trip. She is real excided about this big adventure and dresses in her Sunday best. After she sits down on the plane a lady sits next to her dressed in the finest cloths she has ever seen. When the lady spoke to the flight attendant she realized she was not from the south. Being a friedly southern girl she decided to break the ice with "where you from?". The Lady turned to her with her nose in the air and said "young lady where I am from we do not end our sentences with a preposition". The southern girl thought for a moment then turned and said "where you from b--ch"
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Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,027
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Nov 2002
Posts: 1,027 |
yall saying too many cus words on here... Thats not very christian...
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627 |
Big Pond I did think twice before I posted that, but it was hard to clean up
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 16,090 Likes: 284
Moderator Lunker
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Moderator Lunker
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 16,090 Likes: 284 |
Hey Big Pond; where have you been? I thought a bigun had pulled you in.
Duggan, I don't understand. Why would anyone edit the word "bunch".
It's not about the fish. It's about the pond. Take care of the pond and the fish will be fine. PB subscriber since before it was in color.
Without a sense of urgency, Nothing ever gets done.
Boy, if I say "sic em", you'd better look for something to bite. Sam Shelley Rancher and Farmer Muleshoe Texas 1892-1985 RIP
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 627 |
Good one Dave should have thought of it my self
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Moderated by Bill Cody, Bruce Condello, catmandoo, Chris Steelman, Dave Davidson1, esshup, ewest, FireIsHot, Omaha, Sunil, teehjaeh57
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