I want to thank everyone who kept me busy responding to texts and pm's yesterday afternoon and evening. If I didn't have a chance to respond personally, I'm sorry. Please know that I appreciate, and am humbled by, all your kind words.
Last night, Bob, in his usual kind, thoughtful, and gracious manner, invited me to communicate my thoughts directly with him. I did so, and after heeding the advice given to me by a good friend here whom I've never met, I slept on it. Now, I want to share a few thoughts with everyone as a group.
Some of you know, some may not, that I was self employed for a number of years. It was a small operation, with a heavy emphasis on small....a one man operation. And I made a decent living at it, paying the bills, supporting my family, running it my way, day-to-day.
And while I was generally satisfied, there was a part of me that wished for the type of operation that I read about in the trade mags...a fancy storefront, a showroom filled with shiny, new equipment, multiple personnel on the payroll, manufacturing reps taking me to lunch, a lounge for prospective buyers to wait comfortably in while my staff ran their credit... you know, the big leagues.
But there wasn't any of that. There was me. Bookkeeper, mechanic,office assistant, plumber, delivery guy, setup guy, answering all the phone calls, waiting on customers, loading and unloading equipment, looking up parts, you get the idea. Doing whatever, however, whenever, to keep the thing flying.
During my years spent here on the forum and my involvement with PB, I have heard many times of the need to support the forum, financially wise. It was said that the forum and the conferences, lost money. Now that in itself is bad enough, but what troubled me more was the fact that we kept doing it. My experience with my own business taught me that if the patient was hemorrhaging that badly, the answer wouldn't be found in a continuous blood transfusion...long term survival meant plugging the leak. Making a change in my approach to the problem.
And that's what I didn't see happening here. I thought the PB organization was in trouble, financial wise, and yet nothing was changing. I struggled with the idea of continuing the transfusion without first sewing the leak shut. It seemed like a wasted effort.
And then I read Bob's post from last night, and I immediately felt better. He recognizes the need for some type of change. Maybe the new course isn't fully charted yet, but just knowing that it's under consideration puts me at ease. Does this mean that I'm ready to re-subscribe? No. i can't stand walking by something that I've paid for, but haven't shot, listened too, read, played with, whatever. That waste of resources on all sides infuriates me. And let's be honest...my view of the pond/fish world is extremely narrow....if it doesn't have lepomis in the title, I'm just not that interested. if PB wants to go monthly with a mag devoted to bluegills, complete with centerfold, I'm all in. Doesn't sound like a good business model to me, however.
But I am totally up for continuing to pay for someone else's subscription, who for whatever reason does not or cannot take the mag. Guess there's no reason to remain anonymous now.
Supporting the forum, financially? I'm still turning over my ideas concerning "usage" and "participation". I will say that I am more open to the idea now, than I was this time yesterday.
As far as my issues with a couple other members, I think highflyer said it best when he said this one is totally on me. I am content to leave things in Bob's hands and face the music for my role in this thing. My opinion in this regard has not changed, and while I could've done a better job at reigning myself in, the substance remains the same. How, or even if we move past this is yet to be decided.
