Myself, my wife, and my brother and his wife are absentee owners of 75 acres of land w/ an 8-10 acre lake in Somerset, PA. We live about an hour away.

We've had numerous instances w/ trespassers who fished, hunted, drank, and/or littered, etc.

All these people by now know we live an hour away (we've had the place for 5 years). I've found the best way to bust people is to show up at very odd or unexpected hours for you to be there. The first year, I found out on a Sunday, that my canoe and trolling moter were stolen. I went to the property on a Tuesday afternoon around 2PM (after taking off from work). I went into the property a different way than I normally would. I parked several hundred yards away, and my dog and I walked to our pond.

Getting closer, I noticed that there were two kids fishing from our pier. My dog started going wild (as he felt by now that he owned the place), so I approached the kids as my dog charged full on ahead at them (Now I know that my dog won't bite 'em but just charge at 'em, and I know that me and the dog are at potential risk if these punks try some legal action). So my dog stops short and barks at 'em, and I walk over and just say "how's the fishing?" They say they just got out and haven't got anything. I'm pretty sure at this point that they don't know that I'm the owner. Then I just say "where's my f*ckin' canoe?" Both kids just fell silent. I told them I'd give $50 bucks to the person that got my canoe back.

The canoe was back with in the hour. It was damaged and wouldn't hold water. I mailed the one kid a check for $50 (he was a third kid that the first two brought back to inform me where my canoe was). I gave the other two kids $10 each and told them all to never come back down again. I told them that if they did, I'd get the police involved. I took their names and numbers and said I would call the parents if anything else happened.

Now the beauty of this is that I now had an excuse to tell anyone else (adult or kid) that we tried to be cool with people but that our stuff still got ripped off; and that now, we don't want anyone on the property at all. Anyone that would come by saying they had a deal w/ the previous owners that they'd keep an eye on the place in exchange for being able to hunt and fish there, I'd tell 'em don't come around 'cause our sh*t got stolen and now we can't have anyone around." BTW, the previous owners had no "deals" w/ anyone.

We had done some mild "no trespassing" posting of the property, but after the canoe incident, I went balistic and posted the hell out of the place.

Within the next few years, I'd have some local yahoos come by and say "we've hunted here all our lives, and you buy the place and post it and now we can't hunt here." I'd just tell them "you should have bought the place."

Another time, I showed up on a Saturday, and there were 48 empty beer bottles of Molson Canadian and Yuengling Lager. Now this is not the beer of choice for broke no-cash teenagers. Not a bottle was broken, or thrown on the ground; instead, every bottle was empty, upright, an set on one of my picnic tables.

I just left, went to the local gun shop and picked up a .40 cal HK USP handgun and about 500 rounds. In PA, there's no delay if your record's clean. I went back to the property, set up some coffee can targets, and laid off all the rounds. I left the coffee cans hanging (w/ all the holes in 'em) in the tree in plain view of anyone trespassing.

For the most part, the trespassing has stopped. I get the occasional signs of someone fishing, and I'm sure that people still hunt the place, but much less than before. I'm hesitant to go out in the woods during deer season to try and roust someone.

This is a never ending process that you just have to stay on it. I've got the police involved, and they're receptive. I feel that they like the fact that someone is interested in busting these people by helping to provide evidence and most importantly, testifying when necessary. Most of these local trespassers have other troubles w/ the law, and sometimes your assistance w/ your complaint can help the police increase the overall penalties for these trespassers, and give them more reasons to apprehend them, and more charges to hang on them.

Also, I've found some neighbors to be helpful. Most are full of sh*t, but some really want the area to be quiet. I also have a local caretaker that keeps an eye on the place as well as stocking firewood and garbage removal. We pay him, and give him access to the place if he want to camp for a weekend, or take his family there. He does not hunt or really fish, and we do pay him a few hundred bucks over the year.

Sorry, that post got long. But the main point is to go to your property when you're not expected to be there.

Sunil [email protected]


Excerpt from Robert Crais' "The Monkey's Raincoat:"
"She took another microscopic bite of her sandwich, then pushed it away. Maybe she absorbed nutrients from her surroundings."