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Joined: Aug 2004
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Last year I was doing my normal daily chores at the pond. I drove by my big pond and was disappointed to see a single dead hybrid striped bass. It was about four pounds. I don't like to waste anything, so I decided to drive up to my tree line, which is made up of Colorado blue spruce trees. It seemed like a good idea to place the hybrid striper at the base of one of the trees to serve as fertilizer.
I am truly a creature of habit, so when I drive my John Deer Gator from place to place on the farm I always follow the same paths, but there isn't a path to the blue spruce. Consequently I'm now in territory I don't drive every day.
After dropping off the fish I now have to return to a path, and this involves driving down a steep slope with some medium length prarie grass toward the horizontal aeration pond, which is currently dewatered.
Now I digress for a moment. My property is known as "glacial till". A big ice mass moved through the area tens of thousands of years ago. When it receded it left a bunch of big, pink rocks that likely came from somewhere in Minnesota or Canada. I've made a big firepit over the years by collecting the medium sized stones that range from fifteen to fifty pounds. Earlier I had tossed two rocks in the forty pound range into the back of the 'gator.
Now back to the big slope. I turned the gator toward the little pond and gunned it at full speed, which in a gator is about twenty miles an hour when you're going down hill. I wasn't paying a great deal of attention, so it was my great misfortune that a thousand pound stone which was sticking about a foot out of the ground was directly in my way.
When I struck the mammoth rock at full speed both Gator headlights blew out, the bumper sustained a huge dent....but worst of all the Gator tipped forward on impact and the forty pound stones were launched out of the back of the vehicle. One of them hit me in the right ear as it blew by. If it would have been about four inches to the left it would have either killed me, or more likely knocked me out so that the gator would have careened into the empty pond and most certainly would have flipped.
For a moment I sat and shook. Then I went to the cabin, poured myself a shot of whiskey and saluted God that he saw fit to give me some more time on this earth.
Anybody else got a stupid stunt story? Feel free to cut and paste from another thread. David u's story about tipping heavy equipment was my motivation for writing this story. His account gave me a chill.
Holding a redear sunfish is like running with scissors.
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Joined: Jul 2005
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Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Jul 2005
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Anybody else got a stupid stunt story? Yep, but it involves a bottle of Jack Daniels, an 8 gallon pony keg, and running the motor boat (60hp) with 8 people on board around the pond at full speed at midnight, this was 20 years ago in my younger more stupid days. Thank God there were only a few bumps and bruises out of the whole ordeal but I had some explaining to do about the new hole in the bottom of the boat to my dad. Moral: drinking and boating after dark do not mix well. Did I mention that my girlfriend at the time got tossed out of the boat and landed in about two feet of water on the rocks along the dam? She was sitting in the bow and actually rolled over the windsheild and went right past me and out the back of the boat before landing in the water.
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Joined: May 2004
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Moderator Lunker
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Moderator Lunker
Joined: May 2004
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Hurriedly walked (OK, ran) with a chainsaw to get out from under a dropping tree. Tripped and fell face down; the saw landed blade-first in the dirt a foot or two in front of my face. The chain stopped turning after it embedded in the dirt. It could have been in me.
Started using the tractor and log chains to assure controlled tree falls after that.
"Live like you'll die tomorrow, but manage your grass like you'll live forever." -S. M. Stirling
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I have done several stupid things in my 40 years of inhaling air on this earth but the one thing that really bothered me was when I was a kid I came accross a great horned owl that hanging dead on the top of a telephone pole so me being the pole shimmining champion of the world i skinned right up that pole to the very top standing on some other lines lower down my thinking was they were phone or cable, I reached up to grab the dead owl and ZAP!!! that sucker was live with power and man I barely hung on, my legs went weak and I nearly passed out there. I was lucky with only a slight burn to my hand I climbed back down the pole and never told that story to anyone until I was in my 30's to my dad he shook his head and once again told me that if I ever used common sense it would be by accident
A little snow, Please!
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Lunker
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Last year I was fishing along a seawall when the fisherman who tied up along that portion of the wall eased his boat in. I started to pick up and move when he invited me to use his boat to fish from. He tied up and took some of his stuff to his truck while I moved my gear on board. I grabbed my pole and stepped on to rail planning to grab an outrigger that was lashed to the side. One foot on the seawall and the other on the boat when I realize that the outrigger was not attached and I go down between the boat and the wall, rod in one hand outrigger in the other. The boat moved out to the end on the dock lines and started back, This 38 feet of full displacement teak trawler. I have both hands full and I go under. Just as I resurface the boat pins me to the wall, fortunately there was a large piece of wood floating with all of the other junk in there with me. It cushioned the boat enough that I was not hurt and the owner took my rod and I swam over to a ladder. The only injury, aside from pride, was I had the car keys in my pocket and the wet remote lock and alarm would not work.
1/4 & 3/4 acre ponds. A thousand miles from no where and there is no place I want to be... Dwight Yoakam
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Joined: Apr 2006
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Ambassador Lunker
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Ambassador Lunker
Joined: Apr 2006
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sorry bruce, i'more interested in the rocks.....they are pink? could they be really ancient granites from the canadian shield....that would be really cool to have in the front yard.
as for me, never done anything stupid never done anything to endanger myself or another. why i've led a perfectly safe non hazardous life i have.
GSF are people too!
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Joined: Jul 2005
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Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Jul 2005
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Theo, you chainsaw story reminds of a couple of years ago when my dad was climbing trees and trimming limbs, the chain saw slipped and hit his knee cap while it was running, it took a couple on months for that one to heal up.
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Joined: Aug 2004
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Originally posted by dave in el dorado ca: sorry bruce, i'more interested in the rocks.....they are pink? could they be really ancient granites from the canadian shield....that would be really cool to have in the front yard.
I don't know exactly what the rocks are. It's funny that I can tell the age and sex of a bluegill, but can't ID a rock or a tree. I'll try to catch a pic sometime to post on Pond Boss. Glad you've never done anything stupid...You wouldn't fit in around here. :p
Holding a redear sunfish is like running with scissors.
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Lunker
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Here is one that was pretty stupid. I used to work for IBM as a Engineer. We were having the equipment tested with infared cameras to detect hot spots and loose fittings. These guys come with equipment that looks like there right out of ghost busters. Were walking to one of the equipment rooms and a lady says OH My what are you doing. JOKINGLY I say oh were testing for radiation the building is built on a toxic waste dump. or something just like that. Just joking....but kept on walking. 5 min later the fire bells go off and they evacuate the building..hehehe We were always playing jokes there and this comment was just a joke and that news spread threwout the building in less then 5 min and the place was evacuated. A memo had to go out explaining the contractors business and what they were doing. Needless to say we mellowed a little on the jokes for a while.
Joey
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Can't say I've done stupid things, but I have alot of scars to prove my smartness.
To Dam or not to dam That isn't even a question
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Joined: Apr 2006
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Ambassador Lunker
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Ambassador Lunker
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hey bruce, i'm glad too, but yer story reminded me all too much of the time me, my lawn tractor, and the trailer full of rocks (~300-400 lb??) ventured down my fire escape road. we started as one :rolleyes:
GSF are people too!
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Moderator Lunker
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Moderator Lunker
Joined: Jan 2006
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OK, where's Cecil? He has a couple of dandies.
My dumbest and most recent "experiment" involved reaching up into a tower deer stand to drag a dead coon out. I was on the ladder portion until the coon came to life. We enjoyed each others company all the way to the ground.
But my really dumbest stunt of my life? Heck, I probably haven't done it yet.
It's not about the fish. It's about the pond. Take care of the pond and the fish will be fine. PB subscriber since before it was in color.
Without a sense of urgency, Nothing ever gets done.
Boy, if I say "sic em", you'd better look for something to bite. Sam Shelley Rancher and Farmer Muleshoe Texas 1892-1985 RIP
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Joined: Apr 2002
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Lunker
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This story relates back to the time I was unloading pallets of sand blasting slag using a skid steer with forks. The flatbed trailer truck was parked in a spot where the ground sloped slightly upwards on each side of the trailer. While backing upslope with a pallet, it didn't take long for gravity to kick in once the pallet cleared the trailer deck. The machine couldn't offset the weight of the pallet and everything tipped forward. As I was jettisoned from the seat, I flew past a fasten seatbelt warning sign. The flight was cool but short, eventually being interrupted by the metal ROPS of the machine. At one point in my life I stood 6'5" however this event reduce the package to 5'7" and gave me a neck and face like E.T..
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Lunker
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Lunker
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Several years ago I attempted the drive back home to a warm fire after a long day at work. It was winter time and snow had been piling up all day. It was also Friday so I picked up a six pack and a rental movie. About ¾ mile from home I buried the old pickup in a snow drift.
Not a problem, I would walk home quickly, start the old M-Farm-all, gather up the wife for assistance and dig out the “stuck” pickup. With the Farm-All chained up, Front-end loader at the ready and a not-so ambitious wife, we ventured down the trail to the pickup (wife standing on the draw bar). With a couple of quick scoops I would have that pickup free from the snow drift. Did I mention I broke a hydraulic line in the process and drained all the oil onto the snow? Whew! Looked like somebody butchered a hog, red hydraulic oil everywhere. Front end loader hits the ground and tractor cannot move.
Not a problem. With a less than enthusiastic wife, we made the ¾ mile walk back to the house. Boy it was sure warm standing by that fire but DANG! I forgot my six pack and rental movie.
I fired up the old “Rupp” snow machine and headed once again into the storm to retrieve my “bootie”. It was rather dark by now so I carried a flashlight in one hand and other hand on the throttle. (No headlights). I retrieved my six pack and movie, placing all six cans in the pockets of my cover-alls. It was snowing rather hard by now, quite dark and flashlight losing power. That’s OK, I could make my way back blind folded. If it were daylight I would call it a complete whiteout…….but it was dark? Made a wrong turn somewhere along the line and I bailed off a 12 ft. cliff! WOW, that really hurt when my knees caught the steering bar on my way over them. Steering bar broke cleanly from the machine leaving me writhing in pain, in a raging blizzard at night ½ mile from home! With absolutely no steering capability I walked and crawled back home with 3 full cans and a rental movie.
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Moderator Lunker
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Moderator Lunker
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Ed:
That's a great example & lesson in the history of errors.
"Live like you'll die tomorrow, but manage your grass like you'll live forever." -S. M. Stirling
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,796 Likes: 310 |
So what happened to the other three cans of beer?
Excerpt from Robert Crais' "The Monkey's Raincoat:" "She took another microscopic bite of her sandwich, then pushed it away. Maybe she absorbed nutrients from her surroundings."
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Moderator Lunker
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Moderator Lunker
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It's not about the fish. It's about the pond. Take care of the pond and the fish will be fine. PB subscriber since before it was in color.
Without a sense of urgency, Nothing ever gets done.
Boy, if I say "sic em", you'd better look for something to bite. Sam Shelley Rancher and Farmer Muleshoe Texas 1892-1985 RIP
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,261
Ambassador Lunker
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Ambassador Lunker
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sunil, if ed lost them as a result of the fall, i'd say that was a rookie move.....my guess is that ed drunk em before crawling out.....or at least he should have......they might of got frozen if he waited any longer:)
why is it we get such entertainment out of others misfortunes?
bruce, i'm really happy you shared your stupid moment with us, and started this wonderfully entertaining thread, great tragic stories.....something tells me you knew what might follow.......good stuff.
GSF are people too!
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Joined: Aug 2004
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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I still want Cecil Baird to kick in a story or two. He's got some absolute classics.
Holding a redear sunfish is like running with scissors.
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Joined: Mar 2005
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Lunker
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Lunker
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Sunil, That is the sign of a good writer, he has you back asking for more, Great story Ed.
1/4 & 3/4 acre ponds. A thousand miles from no where and there is no place I want to be... Dwight Yoakam
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 3,973
Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 3,973 |
IS Lusk reading this? This is a coffe table book already being written. It can be used to raise funds for the next PB meeting.
I have so many it is hard to pickout the best/worst
Here goes...I was putting out 800 gallons of copper product in water supply reservoir. We would load 80 gallons or so per trip and it was going just fine. I got greddy and loaded about 120 gallons or so.
Did I mention I borrowed the boat. ANyway the center console was sweet I was talking to my helper and said we are going to make some good money on this job. I sped up a little more, again greedy in order to put out the chemical even faster.
I looked up just in time to see water barley coming over the front of the boat. I slammed down the throttle, bad move it dipped an in about .5 secs the boat was going under. I said a few nice words in screaming voice. Bailed out of the boat and looked up to see the boat flip over and the prop of the outboard spin right by head.
Needless to say that area no longer had any bluegreen. My buddy made me take a picture of the sunken boat. My wife has it on display if you ever come by Aquatic Environmental headquarters. I reminds me to not be so stupid, doesn't work btw.
Oh yea that was a good phone call. "em yea I sunk your boat. Right really how is the job going Greg boat working out?. I'm not kidding I really did sink your boat. Silence...Greg this is not funny....We were able to slowly swim it to the dock and then use the pump I had on shore to pump it out. I think it only cost me $300 bucks to replace a few lost tools and minor repairs. The motor required very little work, and the guy, also in pond mgmt, and I still do business together. Go figure.
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I got myself in a pinch burning a brush pile on the backside of my dam:
I had no business burning that day but talked myself into ignoring the "slight and variable wind" since the brush pile was way down low behind the dam + Plus I had my dad and son to help out if anything happened. So I douse the piles really good with diesel, and light-‘em-up. Everything is going great…for a few minutes. Then, just as the piles reach the pinnacle of flame, whoosh – the slight wind changes to a steady breeze, from the wrong direction. The wind is causing the fire to drift back into the dry grass toward my neighbor’s property. So I’m getting panicky and start grabbing anything I can find to beat down the small grass fires. My Dad and oldest son had decided to take a walk since everything had seemed to be going good after lighting the fires. The wind just keeps getting stronger and stronger. I’m running around beating flames everywhere, the fire starts getting father into the tall grass. Finally, just as I think its about time to call the volunteer fire dept and completely humiliate myself – I find a hog trail that creates just enough of a fire break to ward off the flames. I must have looked pretty silly running back a forth on that hog trail swatting out the fire with a big stick…it seems funny now. I will never forget the look on my dads face when they returned from their walk – I must have looked pretty beat. He just looked like “what the heck just happened here?”
I got away with a few singed hairs. Lesson(s) learned.
: )
Gator
- Smoke 'em if you got 'em
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Junior Member
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Woops! So sorry. I should know better than to post something on this forum and then leave for a week. To answer the questions about the missing "beverages"? "Swallowed up in the darkness and snow"
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Junior Member
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Thats wierd? Posted previous message from different computer and has me from Crawford, NE in 2002 as # 178? Edward Eitel (I think?)
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Ed, How about the email address and the website are they yours?
1/4 & 3/4 acre ponds. A thousand miles from no where and there is no place I want to be... Dwight Yoakam
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