Dave queries:
is it just me or is anybody else wondering why bruce got sentimental under the "fertilization" forum?
Thread author, Bruce responds:
Good observation. I'll bet if you think about it you'll figure it out for yourself.
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...Brettski will never find us down here. Heck, he barely got past the
Creating the food chain thread and pulled up stakes until next spring.
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Seriously, you guys cost me a bank-load of money this past year. Strangely, I'm still smilin'. When I got here a little over a year ago, I had my budget totally under control with plans for a nice little puddle in the woods. Then I peered into the PB crystal ball as the "soon to be Moderators" and their well organized pond-shills hawked me in for a seance to reveal my future. I was hypnotized by the bright glinting laser beams of hope. (these turned out later to be Bruce's perfect white teeth) The Great Magical Mystico Theo slowly and methodically ran his all-knowing hands about the beautiful glowing orb, never touching it, as if warming his hands by it's commanding light. He told me of great masses of large Perch and abundant Blue Gill. I stared into the crystal ball, a glazed blank stare, as I I could see them slowly moving about like fish within a bright round aquarium. (this turned out later to be callouses and cow dung smears on Theo's palms). The awe-inspired, mind-bending power of Bob Lusk and DD1 set me back in my chair, trembling, as they appeared from nowhere, adorned in Merlin's flowing robe and pointy hats. They drew me deeper into a trance, deeper into total mind-consumption, beckoning me to focus on all the beautiful dirt work promised by the future within the crystal ball. They moaned a low, gutteral chant of "otto, otto, otto". It was bright...so bright. Bruce was asked to leave the room. Then it got warm...so warm. "I can smell it...I can smell the dirt!" I cried. Theo was asked to wash his hands. Burgermeister burst into the room and snatched Bob's hat, startling me only momentarily. Then HE walked in. A forbidding image of a man, surrounded by a chilly mist, emerging from a wall of hundreds of perfect, red and black bound legal books. (you know the kind...they look like they haven't even been opened, probably fake and concealing a revolving wall that opens to a speak easy). His pin stripe suit was immaculate; the pressed seams could cut cheese. This could only be Ewest. He thrust his hand toward the pulsating glass orb of fortune, reciting URL links like John Moschitta, and pointed to a barren landscape within. I leaned so close that the tip of my nose was hot from the radiating heat. My eyes widened with awe as I saw it. A new land, a place so barren yet so wonderous. I felt a wave of calm come over me as I yearned to go there. It was the nirvana that a man's soul sees only in dreams. Smooth and flat, yet curving and inviting. This will certainly be my lifelong goal and final resting place. This will be my heaven on earth.
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