When I got to the end of this post, I was expecting to hear "....but wait, they also slice, dice, and make Julienne fries! Yours now for just $19.95!"

Thanks, but no thanks, Mr. Ron Popeil of the sunfish world, to me you and your dangerously deluded cadre will always remain

"Reckless Enthusiasts of Cyanallus Trying to Utilize Murderous Sunfish"