I can see JHAP as Uncle Fester. Well, in a few years anyways.

Brettski, you are too tall for Cousin It.

You might be able to pull off a Lerch if you shave though.

Excerpt from Robert Crais' "The Monkey's Raincoat:"
"She took another microscopic bite of her sandwich, then pushed it away. Maybe she absorbed nutrients from her surroundings."