Kathleen, Wecome to the forum! I'm sure sorry to hear that such a large problem is how you found us.

Mike Otto will surely see this post and offer some expert advice. You may want to contact him directly to have a telphone consult.

Pictures will help everyone have a better idea of your situatuion---every pond is different. I wouldn't be a fan of cutting into a bank because of erosion concerns. Widening of the spillway is a givin along with increasing the capacity at your road. Any bottleneck will raise the water level to overflow something, somewhere.

I would contact the local NRCS agent at your county USDA office. If your county has a good agent, they will determine the size of your watershed and let you know how big and what styles of spillways will work best for you. Often they will supervise the repairs to make certain it is done correctly. A relatively low priced altenative discharge system is a siphon system. These can withdraw a huge volume of water through small diameter pipe.

Best suggestion I can offer is to contact the NRCS right away to help develop a plan before your contractor shows up. Changes in design made once the equipment is running often means large increases in cost to cover wasted work.