Pond Boss Forums GENERAL QUESTIONS Pond Boss Costello needs a computer...

Sent to me by my Mom:

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, 'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:

*** COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT ***

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO : Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO : No, the name's Lou.

ABBOTT : Your computer?

COSTELLO : I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT : Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.

ABBOTT : What about Windows?

COSTELLO : Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT : Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO : I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT : Wallpaper.

COSTELLO : Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT : Software for Windows?

COSTELLO : No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT : Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT : I just did.

COSTELLO : You just did what?

ABBOTT : Recommend something.

COSTELLO : You recommended something?

ABBOTT : Yes.

COSTELLO : For my office?

ABBOTT : Yes.

COSTELLO : OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT : Office.

COSTELLO : Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT : I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO : I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT : Word.

COSTELLO : What word?

ABBOTT : Word in Office.

COSTELLO : The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT : The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO : Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT : The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.

COSTELLO : I'm going to click your blue 'W' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO : That's right. What do you have?

ABBOTT : Money.

COSTELLO : I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT : It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO : What's bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT : Money.

COSTELLO : Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT : Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO : I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT : One copy.

COSTELLO : Isn't it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT : Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO : They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN IT!


*****(A FEW DAYS LATER)*****


ABBOTT : Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT : Click on 'START'.............

Thanks Jeff,after that last customer,I needed a laugh.

Your Mom's alright, JHAP.

That explains a lot about you JHAP. I like your moms sense of humor

The process of raising me forced my Mom to a crossroad. She had to chose between one of two paths:

1. Go completely insane.

2. Have a sense of humor.

Fortunately my Mom has a great sense of humor.

Actually, much like my father, my Mom is quite an amazing person. When I was young and raced motorcycles, everyone in our family, including my Mom owned a motorcycle. She is a trooper, unafraid of jumping into what ever adventure my father and I dreamed up and as you might imagine we concocted a great many adventures.

Being in her 70s hasn't slowed her down one bit. She volunteers at a local hospital many days each week. As a volunteer at the hospital she is the primary technical support contact for the software that tracks the hospital's volunteer hours, coordinates volunteer schedules and maintains volunteer contact information. And if that doesn't seem time consuming enough, Mom is editor of the hospital news paper.

Plus she is one hell of a shot with a rifle. Probably yet another coping skill required to raise a rambunctious young JHAP.

Coworkers?

She never actually shot you?

Naw, she just winged him to teach him a lesson

Every time I see this thread title, I see "Condello needs a computer".
-
Abbott and Condello....classic.

The same thing was happening to me Brettski.

I only noticed that it was "Costello" last night.

Must be 'cause Condello and Costello look so much alike, physically I mean.

Absolutely. They both have arms.

Short, black hair also.

Did Costello have elbows?

Not to mention they sound damn near identical! Bruce has better teeth though.