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This is a bit off color but I nearly wet my pants reading this.

Electric Fence

Hilarious, thanks for sharing, Anna.

I've seen it before, but read it again. A well written tale of woe and sadness...

That's funny, Anna.


Here's one I read not too long ago:

Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little bad to the bone compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went around our
place sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an arrow. Did you
know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor tire will take 6 rounds before it
goes down? Tough sumbich.

That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of Hazard fan
that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up T-shirt doused in
chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows all over the
place. Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there really
wasn't any fire danger. I'll put it this way - a set of post hole diggers
and a 3ft. hole and you had yourself a well.

Anyway, one summer afternoon, I was shooting flaming arrows
into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I look over under the
carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether). The light
bulb went off. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I thought it
would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner . . . lets face it .
.. . to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ,ether really doesn't
"sound"
flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can of pyrodex
(black powder for muzzle loader rifles) to add to the excitement.

At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump and opened
up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a little bit
around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No biggie...1lb
pyrodex and 16oz ether should make a loud pop, kinda like a firecracker you
know? You know what? The heck with that. I'm going back in the house for the
other can. Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too. Now
we're cooking.

I stepped back about 15ft and lit the 2 stroke arrow. I drew
the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk as the
arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned to see my
dad getting out of the truck... OH CRAP! He just got home from work. So
help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to the can.
My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a look in his eyes. I
turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the
starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main pile of
pyrodex and into the can. Oh. Crap.

When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet. I don't
know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or just reflex
jerk back from 235 decibels of sound. I caught a half a millisecond
glimpse of the violence during the initial explosion and I will tell you
there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1ft above the ground as far as
I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust fog full
of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two. The daylight turned
purple. Let me repeat this...THE DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE! There was a big
sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I said
"was".
That mother got up and ran off.

So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of my shoes
with my Thundercats T-shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side of the
carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback
ECHO BRAVO CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE DAMIT CEASE FIRE!!!!!


His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the driveway. All windows
on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow rolling
mushroom cloud about 2000ft over our backyard. There is a Honda 185s 3
wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are drooped
down and are now touching the tires.

I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment. I don't
know. I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear
inside my own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would really
matter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said something, felt a
sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked out, woke
later.... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the idea.

I remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat me some
more. Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks mom.

One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around that stump
again. Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad never did
anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.

Dad sold his muzzleloaders a week or so later. And I still
have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the
beating. Or both.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into
archery.. Its good discipline and will teach them skills they can use later
on in life. Something they won't learn in school.

Wow.

davatsa, that story has TomG written all over it.

I DO know what that mushroom cloud looks and sounds like.And take my word for it,DONT throw aresol cans in a fire.

Those two stories made me laugh so hard the guy in the office next to me came over to see what the fuss was about. LOL. And mainly because I see some of me in both. Did you know that a electric fence coverd in snow will still travel up a stream of urine? Wish I had seen if before I had to pee. Don't know what hurt worse, the electronic kick to the testicles or having to pee after I got back up off the ground.

As for the Pyrdex. That reminds me of my idiot cousin (it runs in the family). Did you know that if you cut the nock off a aluminum broad head arrow and fill said arrow with Pyrodex and apply a match, it becomes a pretty effective missile? 30 years later and I'm pretty sure it is still stuck 15 feet up in that tree. It's amazing any of us survived. You should see the horrified look on my wifes face when she sees our boys eyes light up while telling them of my own stupidity. For that reason alone I have a flammable locker. LOL

Dave and Jeff, that's like looking in my rear view mirror. According to my Wife, a woman with very little imagination and curiosity, I still do "interesting" things that defy logic, reasoning and common sense.

Some of us read it in the books, some learn from their fathers, the lucky few learn by observation, but the rest learn by peeing on the electric fence.

Hey now. No need to go pointing fingers

I'm just glad I didn't piss myself. To bad they didn't have video cameras back then. I'm sure my walk back could have won me some money on America's funniest video's