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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 12
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 12 |
i've been finding these little trashy lookin fish in my pond.  since i got so many fish i been given em a gulp of beer, throwin em up on the bank and smashin em w/ a shovel, leavin em for the coons. they got little green streaks comin away from their mouths, kind a green and yellow all over, with yellow tipped fins.....i just call them green perch. anybody want to tell me if i'm doin right or wrong?
my friends call me mort, my fish call me master.
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 15
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 15 |
What you are doing is like swatting flies in a barn. Youre not going to see any difference. Those fish are called green sunfish.
Last edited by Ben Venturini; 08/29/08 03:26 PM.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 14,300 Likes: 450
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014  Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 14,300 Likes: 450 |
I'm thinking it's nice of you to give them a last drink. Maybe you should offer them a smoke also seeing as it will be their last.
On the other hand, you might be wasting your beer.
Excerpt from Robert Crais' "The Monkey's Raincoat:"
"She took another microscopic bite of her sandwich, then pushed it away. Maybe she absorbed nutrients from her surroundings."
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,435
Ambassador Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
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Ambassador Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2,435 |
Wait 'til JHAP sees this.... 
Just do it...
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,255
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,255 |
I think the technical term for that particular species is "bait".
As a newcomer, Mortimer, some of the less experienced, or perhaps less principled, members here may try to convince you that this is a gamefish. Do not be fooled! The slick graphics, the articulate come-ons, the threats of death from the skies....all make the GSA seemingly irresistable, but in the end, remember, when reduced to their most basic elements, its nothing but a bunch of
"Reckless Enthusiasts of Cyanellus Trying to Utilize Murderous Sunfish".
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 14,676 Likes: 509
Moderator Lunker
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Moderator Lunker
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 14,676 Likes: 509 |
"Reckless Enthusiasts of Cyanellus Trying to Utilize Murderous Sunfish"?
Dam near killed 'em.
"Live like you'll die tomorrow, but manage your grass like you'll live forever." -S. M. Stirling ![[Linked Image from i.pinimg.com]](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/ed/b5/e7/edb5e7f935843b996cf52be593c9ebd2--smoothie-smooth-collie.jpg)
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Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 2
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 4,025 Likes: 2 |
Yolk, it's time to start lining your house with tin foil, inside and out.
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,261
Ambassador Lunker
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Ambassador Lunker
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,261 |
mortimer, mortimer, mortimer, please dont waste anymore of that fine pilsner, keep those guys in the pond, cull the BG, and you too can have this:  i have notified the Marshall of the GSA....i fear mortimer that retribution will be swift......yolk, please tread lightly around the campfire my friend, we at the GSA love scrambled eggs...
GSF are people too!  
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 14,676 Likes: 509
Moderator Lunker
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Moderator Lunker
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 14,676 Likes: 509 |
Mortimer, your only hope is the GSA Death Star's Achilles� heel. There is a small, easily overlooked thermal port which, if hit directly, will destroy the station. Only a small, one man fighter can get close enough to target it.
"Live like you'll die tomorrow, but manage your grass like you'll live forever." -S. M. Stirling
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 14,300 Likes: 450
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 14,300 Likes: 450 |
Excerpt from Robert Crais' "The Monkey's Raincoat:"
"She took another microscopic bite of her sandwich, then pushed it away. Maybe she absorbed nutrients from her surroundings."
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 7,615 Likes: 7
Ambassador
Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador
Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 7,615 Likes: 7 |
Mortimer, I'll deal with you shortly. First I must address some other heritical blasphmy.
I think the technical term for that particular species is "bait".
As a newcomer, Mortimer, some of the less experienced, or perhaps less principled, members here may try to convince you that this is a gamefish. Do not be fooled! The slick graphics, the articulate come-ons, the threats of death from the skies....all make the GSA seemingly irresistable, but in the end, remember, when reduced to their most basic elements, its nothing but a bunch of
"Reckless Enthusiasts of Cyanellus Trying to Utilize Murderous Sunfish".
I can see that the GSA has not been active enough in the "education" the masses on this site. I now see that we must make an example that will not be soon forgotten.
JHAP
~~~~~~~~~~
"My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives."
...Hedley Lamarr (that's Hedley not Hedy)
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 7,615 Likes: 7
Ambassador
Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador
Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 7,615 Likes: 7 |
since i got so many fish i been given em a gulp of beer, throwin em up on the bank and smashin em w/ a shovel, leavin em for the coons. they got little green streaks comin away from their mouths, kind a green and yellow all over, with yellow tipped fins.....i just call them green perch. anybody want to tell me if i'm doin right or wrong?
So first an education is in order. It appears what you have in your obviously alcohol impaired hand is a young Green Sunfish. This fish is a marvelous addition to any pond can grow to very good proportions. It is a terrific fighting fish - probably one of the best of the sunfish.
Doubters on this site resort to mocking this magnificent species simply because they are incapable of growing this fish to it's full potential. People mock what they don't understand and/or can't achieve.
As I said normally I would have given you some latitude related to this but your comment...."given em a gulp of beer, throwin em up on the bank and smashin em w/ a shovel, leavin em for the coons".... leaves me with no choice. You have gone too far, way, way too far.
I am forced to immediately dispatch an "Intervention Team" to stop your barbaric practices and "re-educate" you as to the proper care of the almighty Green Sunfish.
You can run, You can hide, however you WILL be found. 
JHAP
~~~~~~~~~~
"My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives."
...Hedley Lamarr (that's Hedley not Hedy)
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 7,615 Likes: 7
Ambassador
Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador
Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 7,615 Likes: 7 |
After realizing that Theo had openly disclosed a weakness in the Deathstar, which by the way were are currently in the process of correcting with duct tape and empty beer cans, I decided that it was simply not efficient to send in the Deathstar.
Sometimes, in order to ensure that a job is performed to your complete and total satisfaction, you must personally intervene in a matter of great importance such as this.
I felt that this was one of those cases.
Accordingly I felt obligated to PERSONALLY intervene in this matter.You will find photographic proof below that the GSA does not merely threaten, we ACT.
I apologize in advance for the violence that is reflected in this photograph.
Let this serve as a lesson to the rest of you. As our slogan so indicates.... "Just Don't Mess With Us." We have spoken. WARNING DO NOT PROCEED BELOW THIS LINE UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED FOR VIEWING A PHOTOGRAPH THAT CONTAINS HORRIFIC VIOLENCE. IF YOU CHOOSE TO VIEW THE PHOTOGRAPH BELOW THIS LINE THEN WE SHALL NOT BE RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY PSYCHOLOGICAL DAMAGE THAT MAY RESULT FROM VIEWING THE AFORE MENTIONED PHOTOGRAPH. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THAT MEN WITH WEAK HEARTS, PREGNANT WOMEN, PREGNANT WOMEN WITH WEAK HEARTS AND OF COURSE CHILDREN, CLOSE THIS POST IMMEDIATELY AND NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES VIEW THE PHOTOGRAPH BELOW.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BE CAREFUL HERE, HEED MY WARNING. THIS IS YOUR LAST ATTEMPT TO RETAIN SOME SEMBLANCE OF SANITY! DO NOT PROCEED BELOW THIS LINE UNLESS YOU ARE CAPABLE OF VIEWING HORRIFIC CARNAGE!!!!
____________________________________________________________. . . . . . . 
JHAP
~~~~~~~~~~
"My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives."
...Hedley Lamarr (that's Hedley not Hedy)
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 7,615 Likes: 7
Ambassador
Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador
Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 7,615 Likes: 7 |
It is with mixed emotion that I feel obligated to report that during this intervention....
Mortimer has DIED. Let that be a lesson to the rest of you. "Just Don't Mess with Us" is more that just a slogan, it's a way of life for the GSA.
We have spoken.
JHAP
~~~~~~~~~~
"My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives."
...Hedley Lamarr (that's Hedley not Hedy)
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Joined: May 2004
Posts: 14,676 Likes: 509
Moderator Lunker
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Moderator Lunker
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 14,676 Likes: 509 |
Jeff Has a Day Off His Meds.
"Live like you'll die tomorrow, but manage your grass like you'll live forever." -S. M. Stirling
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,255
Lunker
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Lunker
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,255 |
Originally posted by burgermeister:
Yolk, it's time to start lining your house with tin foil, inside and out
Originally posted by Theo:
Jeff Has a Day Off His Meds.
That may be, but I'm not taking any chances-I'm breaking out the mylar undies.
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 14,300 Likes: 450
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 14,300 Likes: 450 |
Man, JHAP really gets around. I mean, we all knew he was a total freak, but how did he find 'ole mortimer so quickly?
Seems like he even used mortimer's own shovel on him.
Excerpt from Robert Crais' "The Monkey's Raincoat:"
"She took another microscopic bite of her sandwich, then pushed it away. Maybe she absorbed nutrients from her surroundings."
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 7,615 Likes: 7
Ambassador
Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador
Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 7,615 Likes: 7 |
Man, JHAP really gets around. I mean, we all knew he was a total freak, but how did he find 'ole mortimer so quickly? Seems like he even used mortimer's own shovel on him.
In answer to your question, the GSA has a VERY extensive spy network. We see what we need to see, we know what we want to know.
I have been highly trained to use any readily available material as a weapon. The shovel was there so I used it. Besides it seemed to have a rather "poetic justice" type of flair to terminate Mortimer with the same shovel that he had been using to abuse his Green Sunfish with and to "leave him for the coons" to dispose of. I even went so far as to consume the two remaining unopened bottles of beer that I found in his cooler. I was must say that vengence tastes even better when washed down with couple of cold Heinekens.So let that be a lesson to the rest of you.... We are watching, we are always watching.
JHAP
~~~~~~~~~~
"My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives."
...Hedley Lamarr (that's Hedley not Hedy)
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,261
Ambassador Lunker
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Ambassador Lunker
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,261 |
man, tough crowd,
go figure. no sympathy for mortimer or his family? or has the work of the GSA paid off and everybody adores GSF now......and ol mort got what he deserved?
GSF are people too!
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 14,300 Likes: 450
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 14,300 Likes: 450 |
Excerpt from Robert Crais' "The Monkey's Raincoat:"
"She took another microscopic bite of her sandwich, then pushed it away. Maybe she absorbed nutrients from her surroundings."
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 8,854 Likes: 3
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 8,854 Likes: 3 |
...I'm breaking out the mylar undies. Man, and I thought I was the only one wearing those things. Whew!
Holding a redear sunfish is like running with scissors.
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