For every bad person, there are hundreds of good ones. You have found many of those good ones right here on this forum. I know it is tough when you are actually the one in this situation, but please try to focus on the good people. Otherwise, the bad ones win.
Let's focus on things you can control. Take care of yourself and your animals first. Then let's move on to the pond. On this forum you will find much help with getting your pond better. You may be very surprised how quickly the pond will come back and heal itself. Many on here could post dramatic photos of damaged ponds that have done just that.
You have received much good advice already on this forum. Let's work on solutions rather than dwell on the problems. Rise above the level of the problem neighbor, take the high road, and make everything come together better than before. It will make you a stronger person.
A final personal note: An attorney once told me that 'Principles will make you poor.' (Of course, this was after he told me I had a great civil case, after I paid him, and after two years of no progress with our case of being wronged.) It is not comforting, but relying on our civil system may prolong the pain versus moving on with your life. As you have already learned with your husband, life is too short. Make the best of it.
