Speaking on behalf of the state of Ohio, we will take an even swap - San Antonio for Cleveland. We get The Alamo and all those (ex?) Air Force bases, Texas gets the Rock 'n' Roll Hall of Fame and The Only Damn River in the World That Burns.
P.S. We will throw in the Chamber of Commerce-approved slogan, "The Last Resort"
While your offer is lucrative, I think I'll pass. San Antonio is actually a nice place if you can overlook 5-6 months of torturous heat. Parts of it have a small-town feel, but it's also the 7th largest city in the country and home to my San Antonio Spurs (though things aren't looking so great for them right now). Our river may be muddy, but it doesn't burn. I suppose we'll claim the Alamo, too.
Even though "Cleveland rocks," you can keep it.