This post from fellow pond meister James Holt regarding the stocking of his newly acquired coppernose bluegill has compelled me to clear my conscious and reveal a horrible truth.

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Reader, I warn you in advance that this post is disturbing. If you choose to continue reading then life as you know it may never be the same. Flowers will not smell as sweet nor appear as beautiful. The song of bird may no longer sound marvelous and innocent. Reader, I implore you not to continue reading this disturbing story. Close this thread, move to another section of the forum. Preserve the innocence that still resides within you. Heed my warning look elsewhere for knowledge and inspiration.

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The telling of this story brings back horrible memories that haunt me to this day. I've never told this story for fear of upsetting my friend and fellow Pond Boss forum member Dave In El Dorado (DIED). But I can't hold this terrible secret in my head any longer, my conscious is heavy. One last plea Reader, turn back, it’s not too late, some things need not be experienced, some truths need not be known.

It all started one bright sunny day with a trip to DIED's place. DIED had generously offered to give me some Gambusia (Gams) to release in my pond. After carefully netting some Gams and returning to our property my wife and I surveyed the pond for a quiet predator free place to release our innocent, blissful little fish. We found a serene corner of the pond. The setting was perfect, calm clear water, a nice shady location. A brilliant blue song bird lit on my shoulder and sang us a beautiful melody. I could tell that our Gams were going to live a wonderful life in our pond. So I lowered the bucket to the ponds surface and gently poured my new found friends into their new home.

The 70 or so Gams formed a nice little school and began merrily swimming out toward the center of the pond. My wife and I were marveling at our cute little Gams and how happy they looked. Many of the Gams actually appeared to be smiling as they swam away. We praised DIED for his generosity and his role in our very first pond stocking event.

And that's when it all went so horribly wrong. Out of the depths rocketed six or seven juvenile bass. The surface of the water suddenly exploded with angry activity. Our jaws collectively dropped as we observed the carnage. Innocent Gams were leaping from the water in an attempt to escape the hungry mob of bass. Six or seven Gams were immediately consumed in the melee. The poor Gams were swallowed whole before they ever knew of any threat of danger. The school of Gams became divided into two small schools. One school attempted to swim to deeper water while the other swam along the shallow shore line and headed for cover. The school that attempted to escape into deeper water was subjected to repeated attacks. In twos and threes the Gams were disappearing. The school received devastating losses. The second school that had headed for cover now cowered in the shallow vegetation. They were obviously traumatized by the carnage that they had narrowly escaped. Their innocence was lost forever.

As quickly as it had begun it was over. My wife and I felt horrible. It was akin to receiving a gift of cuddly, cute lambs that my friend Dave had lovingly raised and recklessly having thrown the innocent lambs into a pen of voracious wolves. A cloud suddenly blocked the sun and the sky became dark, the air had a chillingly foreboding feeling to it. The songbird had stopped it’s beautiful singing, it cocked its head to stare at me with a searing, angry look in his all knowing eye. As the glorious bird flew away it defecated upon my shoulder expressing disgust and disapproval.

In my imagination I can still hear the screams of those Gams. I imagine them to be much like the screams of lambs being slaughtered. I want the screams to stop, I want the screams to go away, I want never to hear the screams again. All I want is.........
.
.
.
.
.
.
The Silence of the Gams.

I can here the song in my head done-ta, done-ta, done-ta.........

I have a similar story to relate. The first time I stocked hsb from Todd Overton I bought the smallest ones he had available. The same thing happened to them that happened to your Gams. Some of them did survive the attack by the lmb but many did not. It would have been quite a show to watch as the hsb were coming out of the water trying to escape the lmb had I not just spent three hours driving and two dollars for each fish.

All I can say is that I wish I had know about blocking nets when stocking fish in a pond with predators. I suspect the same thing happened to the 250 2-3" SMB we stocked in 2005.

That's some great writing, Jeff.

I think Lusk should publish that as a story in the magazine. Can I forward it to him?

Bruce I would be absolutely honored. Please feel free to forward it to Mr. Lusk.

I never did get around to emailing him my "I want a new fish song lyrics." Sometimes I think I have way too much time on my hands.

For those of you newbies that didn't catch my foray into song writing...

"I Want a New Fish"

Done deal.

Jeff, you forgot to use the LMB force field. All LMB's are disoriented for a short time when contact is made with the force field.

At least your GAMS would have had a fighting chance for survival if you would have used the LMB force field.

'Course, youda hafta made little tinfoil hats for the Gams ta wear, else they'da been disorientated too!

i hate dial up...that's how i missed this....ROTFLMAO

no more gams fer you buddy!

I like it, I like it...great lead story for a stocking advice story. I'll work on it for September/October issue of PB.
I'll email Jeff and Dave about it when I get around to writing it.
Good stuff...thanks.

Why don't people realize that bass are vicious and aggressive animals. It is pretty much a waste of time, effort and money putting new small fish in with a mixed population of LM bass. It is like putting chickens in a closed barn with several foxes.

you sound just like my wife bill :rolleyes: ....no disrespect intended, but that is exactly what she said when i shared this little diddy with her this evening, except she used a coyote analogy.

yeah, jeff, how come you didnt realize this.......doh!

actually i was thinking you had sufficient weed cover for good survival, but those excited little souls just had to go swimming out in the middle huh?

too too funny..

oh yeah, and p.s., as i mentioned somewheres else, my gams do know where you live

Funniest thing I've read in a while, Thanks!

Somehow I just knew that even with my disclaimer, even though I implored my fellow forum members not to subject themselves to the horrible truth that this post would reveal, that many members would not heed my advice. And their life journey would be forever altered. Every pond stocking decision would be second guessed, every predator/prey relationship reevaluated.

I feared of retribution. Would I be labeled a murder of Gambusia? Would this cause a scarlet letter effect upon my character? Would I be forever banned from posting on the Pond Boss Forums for so callously subjecting my innocent charges to the ruthless hordes of pond wolves that we refer to simply as LMB? At Pond Boss conventions, that I had hopes of attending in the future, would I be excluded from participating in social events? While passing congregated groups of convention attendees would I hear the dreaded whisper of hushed voices expressing disapproval and distain?

I was forced to weigh the consequences of my truth telling. Perhaps if my story could save one, just one tiny insignificant Gambusia from enduring such a horrible fate it would be worth the potential retribution. Perhaps if one fellow forum member would remember this lurid tale and thereby consider the poor innocent life that we pond owners so callously, collective refer as merely forage. Then maybe that forum member would be spared the psychological scars that I my wife and I now have. And with that goal in mind I felt compelled to share the truth.


THE AFTERMATH

A story is never complete unless the reader knows what transpires after a tragic event. And so I present to you some details of the aftermath.

Regarding Gambusia:

If you recall from my tragic story the large Gam school divided into two schools. I have been forced to accept that the one school that so innocently tried to escape their fate by swimming into deeper water suffered untold casualties and perhaps perished in their entirety.

The second school that by some quirk of fate, or karmic event, or perhaps even divine intervention, swam into the shallows and managed to conceal themselves amongst the thick vegetation. It is my belief, or perhaps just a thinly disguised hope, that this school represented half of the Gam population that was thrust into this horrific event. I do know that at least some Gams did survive as evidenced by the several large schools of minuscule Gam fry that I observed earlier this year.

The effect upon Jeffhasapond and his wife:

This tragic event has forever altered life as we know it. We no longer have the stomach to crush scary a looking spider because we know that this poor beast is someone’s brother or sister or perhaps even a mother or father. The though of taking an innocent life is still too fresh in our mind and weighs too heavy upon our heart. Countless thousands of dollars has been spent on psychological counseling; regression analysis; dream interpretation; and even role playing in which one of us, while donning a Gambusia costume, is allowed to bludgeon the other with a padded club. We now make an annual pilgrimage to a Gambusia Farm to pay homage and seek forgiveness.

Judge me if you will fellow pond meisters for there is no punishment that you can bestow upon us that is worse than that that we have subjected ourselves to.

And finally to my friend DIED…

I realize that this event will forever alter our friendship. I accept that you may no longer trust me with the care of any additional pond life. I just hope that, over time, you can come to realize that I had the best intentions and that it was ignorance not ill will that caused this tragic event to unfold. If you cannot forgive me then I shall be forced to consume the six pack of adult beverages that I have in my chilling refrigerator in solitude.

a) you wear the gam suit, Ricki gets to club you

b) save yer psychological counseling expenditures for an aerator

c) i trust no one

d) my gams know where you live. you must visit and prostrate yerself before them, beg forgiveness, and pray they do not act upon what they have learned from my RES and lunker GSF.

e) assuming they let you live, i shall force you to consume a case of beer with me, not a skimpy six pack,

f) have we learned our lesson now?

I felt the six pack was a little light, basically only really good for one person. The case makes things right.

I plant smaller feed trained fish annually in my largest pond with large predators with no problems. However they go into a 7 feet by 7 feet cage until they are large enough to release in the fall or I transfer them to another pond. It's also a great way to add a new age class of largemouths every year.

Dave:
Regarding your conditions:

a) you wear the gam suit, Ricki gets to club you: Although we were supposed to switch the clubber/clubee roles so far it has not happened. My wife believes that since I instigated this event that I should always play the role of clubee. So this term is already in place.

b) save yer psychological counseling expenditures for an aerator: Done deal, no more large expenditures for psychological counseling. I will create an aeration fund with the proceeds. Don't tell anyone but I stopped taking my personality suppression medication a while back and have been diverting my medication proceeds into this fund. Not taking my meds does have some side effects but I can live with that. This already has had, and will continue to have, an effect on my fellow pond boss forum members as well but I really feel that in this case everyone should "take one for the team." Condition accepted.

c) i trust no one: Trusting no one is a little harsh but what hey what works for you, works for you.

d) my gams know where you live. you must visit and prostrate yerself before them, beg forgiveness, and pray they do not act upon what they have learned from my RES and lunker GSF: I have been avoiding coming face to face with the parents of the Gam children that I have slaughtered but I guess the time has come to "face the music" as they say. What ever punishment that they bestow upon me is probably well deserved. Besides it's part of my 12 step program anyway. I am very concerned however that they have been learning behavior from lurker GSF and I will admit it publicly that I am absolutely terrified that RES have been mentoring the Gams - I fear that no good will come from this. I have heard rumors that RES use Mudskippers to do their dirty deeds but was not aware that this arrangement has also extended to Gams. This is most disturbing news.

e) assuming they let you live, i shall force you to consume a case of beer with me, not a skimpy six pack: I accept this term and will endeavor to consume a case of beer with you. I practiced this a great deal in my younger years so I believe that I am up to this grueling task. I do believe however that I should warn you that the combination of not taking my personality suppression medication and adding liberal amounts of alcohol can result in events that are not suitable for publication. A few years ago I confirmed this during a "4th of July" party that got out of hand and required the intervention of a hazmat crew, the swat team, the fire department and a massage therapist. To this day my wife and I do not discuss the heinous events that unfolded that day. My only request with this condition is that we invoke the "What happens in El Dorado, stays in El Dorado" rule.

f) have we learned our lesson now?: We've learned.

You are a tough but fair man Sunil, but of course I would expect no less of an esteemed member of B.I.S.A.

Um, could we make this a community event with, of course, enough cases to overcome the group affliction?

I'll volunteer my pond banks as a location event since I'm centrally located.

You may have actually done this little Gam Group a favor. Please allow me to explain:

By thrusting this poor, unsuspecting group into a dangerous situation, you forced them into making decisions, decisions that resulted in either life, or death. Those that survived became smarter, learning that cover was the place to be. Those that perished simply helped purify the gene pool by sacrificing themselves in order to allow the smarter gams to flee to safety. All is not in vain my friend, so instead of drowning your sorrow with that six pack of adult beverage, you should toast to the brave, selfless gams that threw themselves to the wolves to allow others to survive.

TO THE GAMS!

Uh oh. What if the gams really do start getting smarter? What if their intellect begins to approach that of HAL 9000 or, possibly, the Borg?

Could fish rule the world? Or, on this forum, is that already the case?

hoorah.....to the gams!
might not of raised em smart, but i gave em plenty of courage....freedom aint free in any pond.

JHAP is up at his property this week so he wont be posting until he returns....good buddy dave has been out on projects all week, and fears that this work schedule will keep JHAP from being able to come over, beg forgiveness, and consume large quantities cold fermented beverages.

Because I like JHAP and am here to support him, I will consume large quantities of cold fermented beverages in his absence. Here's to JHAP. I think I will refer to him as the GAM-bler.

I just made the mistake of reading this at work. Now people are wondering why the laughter is coming out of my office. Thanks a lot.

I too try to support all members,therefore,I too will be consuming cold beverages after work for the rest of the week.

I, too, shall support JHAP or GAM-bler in his absence by consuming more than my fair share of beer.

I will, however, stop shy of a painful gout attack.

Gout-Schmout....The Gams made their sacrifice, now you make yours!

Although you could make your sacrifice by offering a fried (lets not get too crazy with a burnt) offering of the kin of the offending LMB that necessitated the Gams selfless act in the first place.

My last patient is tomorrow at 11 a.m. After that I will make the sacrifice and have a shot of Jack Daniels.

a nice side benefit of that, is JD kills plaque

Is it a sad tale or what?My LMB have never eaten pellets to my knowledge,my CC did very well last year..3-5lbers but havent been feeding this year much if at all and now the perch and BG are stopping.This morning while feeding I noticed lots and lots of minnows/fry attacking the pellets with a vengence when out of nowhere the perch and bluegill start atacking the poor little inocent fellows.As I sorrowfully recall this thread there is hope after all,as I observe the LARGE CCs and LMB come from the depths of nowhere and attack those ruthless perch and BGs.Too bad I had too come to work,I could have sat there all day with a 30 pack and enjoyed (I mean sorrowfully) watched to see who won the battle
Tom G

Thank you Svoberts, I hadn't thought of this heinous event in those terms. Perhaps I was just hastening the natural selection process and therefore ensured a better outcome for the survivors. I will have to ponder (no pun intended, ok well maybe a little pun intended) that.

What a great idea MJR. Imagine hoards of Poss Boss forum members descending upon your property ready and willing to "eat, drink and be merry (that's merry not Mary by the way).

And you call it Reluctance Ranch now.....

GW, Heybud, Tom G, Sunil, Svoberts, Bruce and Dave:

I really appreciate your support during this trying time. Since I was not aware this spontaneous salute to the Gams was happening I was not able to participate. I really think that it would help me overcome my trauma if I knew that we could provide some show of respect to the fallen GAM hero's.

To all my fellow Pond Boss members:

I propose the following, on Saturday, June 30, at any time that is convenient for you, I respectfully request that my fellow Pond Boss brethren face north west toward my pond raise the beverage of their choice and proclaim "TO THE GAMS." I really think this sign of respectful solidarity is just what I need to recover from this tragic event.

So I ask you.... Are ya with me Pond Bossers??? Are ya????

Will do,Ill be on the dock at about 1:00 this afternoon facing west.

Tom I admire your dedication for beginning your practice run one week early. Perhaps if you practice everyday over the next week you will be in perfect form by the 30th! In fact I believe that I will take a cue from you and begin practicing tonight. That will only give me six days of practice so I'll just have to make due with that. [Note to self - go to store and purchase some more Captain Morgan's and Pepsi.]

Thank goodness! I have enough trouble being Ernest.

Well, you're not very Frank.

Jeff will do so and as I raise a cool one I will ,at the same time ,throw out a hand full of pellets to the survivor gams at ours.

Hip, hip, hic, hurrah! If we cant make Merry, Let's jump for Joy.
Did he say prostrate himself...you mean, like, self neuterization?

my poor old pa, born 6/30/1920, as we celebrate his 87th birthday on that saturday 6/30/2007, between water witchin and fly fishin w/ worms, is truly going to know his son has gone off the deep end when he slugs down some johnny walker and yells to the SE (towards JHAPS place from Sacramento ) "TO THE GAMS!!!!"

will do pardner!

Make sure you wish your Pa a Happy Birthday for me!

I may be crazy but I'm not totally insane!

This is shaping up quite nicely. Can you visualize 100 pond boss members across the county raising a glass, facing North West (except for Dave) and toasting "To the Gams." Surely you don't want to miss out on this event. (I know, I know, You won't miss the event but don't call you Shirley).

jeffhasapond,

Count me in. Cudos to you and Dave for raising the awareness of Gams on this Forum. For years, they were dismissed here as being insignificant. My thanks to you guys and I salute you both!!

OK. I just cleared my calendar.

I should be arriving at The Big Pond (not Reluctance Ranch) just before the appointed "witching hour" and will gladly look across the cove and toast the gams...as well as all of the pondbossers.

Let's make it an annual--or maybe weekly--event.

OK, Saturday the 30th at what time??

I never drop a drink prior to 5PM CDT.

Bruce, although I would really like to envision a nationwide synchronized toast to the Gams, I realize that it would be almost impossible to execute. Therefore I leave the exact time up to each individual PB’er. Just the thought that at different times through out the day on June 30, folks from around the nation will toast to the fallen Gams makes my heart soar.

With the diverse group of folks here on PB can you imagine on any given day what they might be up to. Just think if you could control several high tech satellite camera systems to zoom in on several Pond Boss members to determine what they were doing on any given day and time, say for instance June 30th at 4:00pm PST. What would the camera’s film…..

DIED - Celebrating his Dad's birthday, all the while justifying the practice of water witching and fly fishing with live worms attached to his lure, meanwhile contemplating how to sell the cost of a new well to his Lunker-Catching wife.

George - Hunched over his fly tying tools creating the perfect fly that will cause fish to jump out of the pond onto shore with just the mere sight his newly created lure.

Brettski - Using a drawing pencil and sketching pad in his left hand to design a Super Dome to cover his entire pond so that he can create the ultimate wildlife sanctuary while concurrently using his right hand to post LOL responses to pond boss posts.

Meadowlark and Rad - Co-conspiring as to how to grow their toothy Pacu’s to 20 pounds without loosing any necessary appendages.

Cecil – Mounting an exquisite Trout (not in a weird “Deliverance” sort of way mind you) that would be worthy of display in the Smithsonian Institute.

Yolk – Trying to avoid both the Medusa-like stare of his Aggrieved Teenage Daughter and the wrath of the GSF Club (who forgive but never forget).

GW - Trying to devise the perfect trophy size Warmouth spawning pond.

Theo – Using 41% of his brain designing Aerospace Technology that he could describe to us but none of us would really understand anyway, 27% of his brain managing his pond, 18% of his brain moderating pond boss, 15% of his brain managing his cattle operation and household chore activities and 16% of his brain writing limericks in latin. (Yes I realize that is more than 100%, but anyone that has read much of what Theo writes on PB will quickly come to realize that his grey matter use is way, way beyond the norm).

Ewest – Reviewing and contrasting six studies involving the effect that sublethal stress has on otoliths size when contrasted with northern and southern latitude genetic variation anomalies in eastern European Elassoma Zonatum.

Sunil – Reeling in one of his tough fighting SMB with one hand while drinking a beer with the other - all the while contemplating the perfect Margarita recipe for the next PB convention.

Gator - floating on an inflatable water toy shaped like an alligator to both show respect for the newly relocated Sneaky Pete but yet enjoy his pond without the though of being consumed in whole or part.

JHAP - Day dreaming about an Elodea free pond containing 4 to 5 pound LMB while reading the "Small Business and Work Opportunity Tax Act of 2007" and contemplating the draft of his latest potential post to PB to determine if would likely be funny to anyone but himself.

Bruce - and yes you Bruce what would the camera find you doing behind the iron gates of the Condello Compound/Institute for the Creation of Ludicrously Proportioned Blue Gill, one can only wonder.....


And that’s to name just a few of the pond bossers…..

oy


this being the sound i've made after reading JHAP's post, falling backwards to the floor, and curling into the fetal position of comic agony.


"mounting an exquisite trout".......
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oy squared

jeffie, It is better to have loved a gam and lost than to never have loved one at all. I hold my glass (actually a can) high and toast to the gams. It's five oclock somehwere. Sorry I got to the party a little late. I was busy counting the gams in Zephyr Pond.

As Jimmy Cagney once said in a movie, "Some Gams!"

I thought that was The Rolling Stones?

I went out to mow at Reluctance Ranch today and couldn't see any fish, but the aerators were bubblin' away and there were a few pellets in the water in front of the feeders, but no "feeders" in sight. The mosquitos, however, were completely absent. As hot as it was, that was a blessing.

After about four hours of mowing and no end in sight, I decided the mower was too small, loaded it in the truck and took it back to the dealer for a larger model. God, I love this pond sport stuff. What a great excuse for toys!

Once the fish grow, I'll need to train the boy (and girls) to mow. I can tell that already.

JHAP, I dont know if you're on or off the meds, but....dont do anything different.

JHAP, I know what you mean.

I'm not one of those people that has to laugh like crazy at all of my own jokes, but every once in a while my wife will give me a funny look, and I'll ask why, and she'll say that I just started chuckling out of nowhere. I was probably thinking of my next PB post.

Count me in for a toast to the gams! Similar carnage was experienced by our rosies, so maybe I'll have to raise one to them as well...

Bruce, I'm glad I'm not the only one! My wife has grown accustomed to my sense of humor. Occasionally I crack myself up but I'm so easy to amuse I never really know what is going pass for humor to others. You should see what "hits the cutting room floor" (to use Hollywood vernacular).

Fellow Bond Bossers:
Hopefully I did not offend any of the members that were mentioned, I certainly did not intend to and apologize if I did. There were many more members that I would have liked to mention but ran out of inspiration. Some of the members I didn't do justice to (Brettski and Theo in particular) but I ask you how do you capture the essence of their forum personalities? Anyway, no offense was meant, hopefully none taken if so I do hereby formally apologize, so sorry, grovel, grovel, apologize, grovel.

Think of it like a seesaw

med's off = humor on