I wish I could have the entire world's undivided attention for just twenty seconds. I wouldn't even need to speak, just a vid of me holding up this sign:

ADVICE = NOUN
ADVISE = VERB

I'm willing to save that whole idea/ideal thing for another broadcast.

I wish someone would pull me aside and explain "Vaping". I was tempted initially to wish the word be stricken from the English language, but I've witnessed firsthand how difficult it can be to break a nicotine addiction, so I'm in favor of anything that can help. Still, I never know quite how I'm supposed to act whenever someone pulls one of these things out of their pocket. The one's I've seen look like the product of a hybridization between a Bosun's whistle, and that flashy thing that Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith used in the movies. Should I shield my eyes?? Would I remember if I did??

I wish I could trade the digital information display in my new pickup for a floor-mounted dimmer switch. Be a lot more useful. Do I really need to receive real time updates indicating the current state of torque for my license plate fasteners? In newton-meters as well as inch-lbs?? Come on.

I wish someone would combine the suspension properties of colloidal clay with the granular algaecide Cutrine Plus. Think about that.. treat your pond for algae and the product remains in suspension throughout the water column, acting top to bottom. Like that.

I wish I would invent a trophy bluegill detector. One that I could carry to any BOW, drop a sensor, and have it not only tell me if a trophy BG was present, but pinpoint it's location for accurate casting presentation. I figure side imaging sonar already exists, and I know the scale in our bathroom claims to provide an accurate BMI when I step on it with my bare feet, so it looks to me like I'm one trip to Radio Shack and some duct tape away from making the cover of In-Fisherman.

How about it Santa? I've been a good boy, more or less.

"Forget pounds and ounces, I'm figuring displacement!"

If we accept that: MBG(+)FGSF(=)HBG(F1)
And we surmise that: BG(>)HBG(F1) while GSF(<)HBG(F1)
Would it hold true that: HBG(F1)(+)AM500(x)q.d.(=)1.5lbGRWT?
PB answer: It depends.