1. Redear sunfish are always angry. 2. Redear sunfish don't sleep--they wait. 3. If you can see a redear sunfish, he can see you. If you can't see the redear sunfish, you may be only seconds away from death. 4. A redear sunfish refers to himself in the fourth person. 5. If a redear sunfish could push a button to eliminate every yellow perch on the planet, he would. 6. Similar to a Russian Nesting Doll, if you were to break open a redear sunfish you would find another redear sunfish, only smaller and angrier. 7. A redear sunfish's calender goes straight from March 30th to April 2nd--nobody fools a redear sunfish.
Holding a redear sunfish is like running with scissors.
