Pond Boss Forums GENERAL QUESTIONS Pond Boss Actually pond related..

Can anybody venture a guess about how this photo is pond related?

I'm guessing it's a scarecrow of some sort...complete with lipstick, of course. Either to scare humans or birds from the pond???

Either that or your dad is into some serious alternative living. I'm gonna go with option one.

That shirt alone is scary enough to keep a pond clear of herons.

its the poster for the new soon to be hit movie "condello patriarch meets phantom of the pond"

in denton theatres only.


alternatively, could it be your father is providing etiquette lessons to an F2 hybrid mutation of JHAP's suspected F1 lusk clone?....naw, cant be, no beard.

i give...

If you get any poachers, they're probably be kinda kinky.

Have you told your Mom yet?

The 1 on the left looks a little stiff.

It's gotta be a scarecrow. If you could make him move every few minutes, you could really make some birds poop and fly away.

EDIT: Wait! It could be an "anti-scarecrow". It could get the fish used to the human form and face, so they will behave normally in the presence of a human.

Naw - it is a test dummy. Bruce is testing what happens when a person gets sucked into the vortex of the giant circulator when it is turned all the way up. :p

Dude - what if that IS his Mom?

I'm thinking it is a decoy for the RES so Bruce can actually get some work done around his ponds without risking bodily harm.

I think you guys are seriously underestimating Bruce's resourcefulness.

I believe that Mr. Condello is standing with the worlds first "Auto-Dentist", which Bruce has developed to allow him to continue to generate a decent living while devoting 100% of his time to his true passion.

I base this on several specific features.

First, note the pleasant but rather blank expression. Certainly Bruce's patients will recognize this as his familiar "I'd rather be at my pond" look.

Second, the attire. Classic for the "Master of My Own Domain" casual professional.

Note also the gloves. I suspect this proprietary device has yet to be patented, so he doesn't want to give anything away.

And it's got a perfect plastic smile - for inspiring confidence in the patients!

I think you are all wrong and it is Bruce's imaginary friend, that he uses to covince people he needs a vacation, so he can go to his pond.


Am I wrong?

The state of Nebraska now forbids you to do stuff like that in your spare time so you started raising fish?

.
.
.

Undoubtedly, this has something to do with Condello's clandestine participation on the forum at Koipond.com.

To that end, I'm not sure we really want to know any more than we already do.

JHAP, that's funny, man!

A distant view of our new friend.



A little closer view, warding off herons.



A really close view. Evidently "winged invertebrates" aren't intimidated by "M.J."

i like m.j.'s salute

Bruce is that one of your ponds? I like the island!

I gotta tell ya I would feel very uncomfortable fishing that pond with MJ watching me. The ever present black eyed non-flinching stare, the creepy red lipped smile. I just know he(she?) would be judging my every move.... thinking to him(her?)self...

Did you see that last cast by JHAP, terrible form, and that lure - get real - who fishes with a lure like that, and those shorts - where on earth did he get those shorts, and don't get me started on the shirt he's wearing. Tackle box, smackle box - I mean did you see the dumb stuff he has in there? Has this guy ever fished before?

Oh the humiliation!!!!

Yes, well that's my Dad's pond.

The islands are going to be part of a future post. Shhhh!

Did you ever say what she was for?

I was wondering when someone was going to ask.

It's for heron control.

And by the way, I've rounded the corner to that pond exactly twenty-two times now, and MJ has scared the livin' woo-woo out of me every time.

Mums the word, lips are sealed.


Even your DAD has a pond??? Is this a truly just an innocent recreational pond owned by Grandfather Condello or is it in reality a clandestine extension of the Condello Institute for the Creation of Ludicrously Proportioned Blue Gills???

So what type of fish are in Dad's pond Bruce? Looks like a great pond!

AH HA! I knew I wasn't the only one that was freaked out by Mj! The rest our fellow forum members just weren't man enough to admit it. Come fellow pond meisters, it's ok to admit your afraid of Mj. It's ok to admit that you had a bad dream about Mj....

It was a quiet night under the light of a full moon. The only audible noise was the muted lapping of water against the pond's shore. As the clock struck twelve Mj's left hand slowly began to twitch, then his right. Suddenly twin beams of brilliant red light emanated from Mj's eye sockets and he slowly rose to his feet. He turned to face the house, his evil expression never changing. With a zombie-like gait he approached the house, the squish, squish, squish sound of his foot steps going unnoticed.

Finding the back door of the house unlocked Mj entered the house and moved toward the kitchen. In a deliberate and stealthy manner he searched the kitchen cabinets placing one item after another on the counter. He gathered up the ingredients that he had so carefully collected in his left arm and quietly opened a drawer with his right hand. The glimmer of sharpened steel flashed in the moon light as he retrieved the butcher knife.

He exited the kitchen and moved with a deliberate and seemly malice-filled stride toward the bedroom. He slowly and quietly opened the bedroom door, its occupants completely unaware of the events that were about to unfold. The innocent sleepers were suddenly jolted awake as Mj began a blood curdling shriek. With this the assault had begun, the large knife slashing through the evening air. Clutching their covers as though some protection would be offered by mere fabric, they were terrified by the sight…. the room was being littered with carnage from the brutal attack, bits of chocolate, pieces of graham crackers and chunks of marshmallows seemed to rain down around them as Mj repeatedly shrieked “S’mores for me, S’mores for you, S’mores for everyone!”

My Dad's pond has male bluegill (huge), female yellow perch, female redear sunfish, and a few smallies.

I'm going to cut and paste your last verse to send to my kids and Dad. I'm just recovering from LMAO.