Pond Boss Forums INTRO Common Pond Q&A (archives) PB Funnies Thanks....and farewell.

I hope you guys realize that I'm hurt that the angry redear thread doesn't merit thread status.

I think I'll start a new thread entitled "My white crappie are embezzling from me".

Bruce, find it and put it in there. You have one of the 'majic keys'. Dont be modest. I thought it was great. Cecil trying to identify the celestial object was also good.

He never did admit it was a streetlight, did he?

Guys please feel free to add posts or links here. I am not the arbiter of all things funny. Bruce I have been counting on you in the past to make the choice. I will add the really RES thread.


Angry - mean RES thread by Bruce.

http://www.pondboss.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=5;t=000465;p=1

I vote to make ewest the arbiter of all things funny.

Anybody else on board with that?
:p

....I'm crackin' up at the thought! Kinda like Jerry Lewis meets Simon Cowell.

Brettski you could take charge of the funnies. Anyone who could come up with the pic and dialog below has my vote.



"Bob, grab ahold o' Shorty's melon...Quit squirmin' Mutton-head....before Debbie starts thinkin' the Condello practice is run by a stooge..."

From this thread - Bob goes to Neb. http://www.pondboss.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=20;t=002368;p=1

I nominate Brettski for Tirebiter of all things funny.

Once Cecil posted a pic of him holding a super trout, and could only comment that he looked like a hungover Canook, funny part was he did. My other fav was someone asked what everybody had named their pond boats. Dr.C stated he did not have a boat, but if he did, he'd name it Fecund Scud. Simply hillarious. Please keep em comin.

Well you know funny you say that Theo. When I was a kid in Massachusetts I got a telescope for Christmas. I remember accidentally training it on a street lamp and noting how remarkably similar the light looked like the surface of the moon. I got it in my head that maybe the telescope was rigged and our moon landing was a conspiracy!

OK I think this is the one. If not let me know.

Tin-foil hats and lunar visions started by CB1.

http://www.pondboss.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=20;t=002726;p=1#000000

Dont you guys have ponds to Seine or fish?

Lay off the Diet Dew

Ewest and Theo are too kind: I am truly honored by your support and the smatter of applause, but I admittedly fall short of the required qualifications of such a highly revered position within the PB community. For every good yuk that I have mustered, there is a plethora of lead balloons stabled within the archives of this forum. Let's face it; Dr Burgermeister broke new medical therapeutic ground with his cyber-diagnosis of my ailment, Pointy Hat Syndrome (PHS). This disease in itself consumes much of my time as I am unable to fit my PC into the corner of the room. I think Donna, the boss, sums it up well: "Honey, your comic shtick comes off like it's surrounded by a thin, thin, thin 16 millimeter shell...and inside, it's delicious!" (Theo will understand )

The streetlight gazing topic needs Brettski's theory of what Cecil's object was, before he sent it to the bit bucket. You remember, Brettski, 'it may well have been (your 3rd largest, or 7th planet from the sun'. Please dont relapse, this is good therapy.

Dr Burger,
I may have posted an astrologically correct anal ysis of Cecil's heavenly epiphany, but the dynamic ramifications of misinterpretation far outweigh the scientific value of the hypothesis. (In other words, I didn't wanna get banned).
In fact, I still have the shoes with the bottoms burnt off that I was wearing the night you heroically pulled my feet from the fire!

CIA BLUEGILL thread

http://www.pondboss.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=20;t=002216;p=1#000000

Ahh, Yes - the return of the larval trawlers.

fishing the easy way By AL - the jumping Mexican fish

www.completelycolorado.com/forums/video/Pescaria_Meques.wmv

http://www.pondboss.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=20;t=002245;p=1#000000

At Bill's admonition and Bruce's suggestion I have moved the following from the BG stunting up north thread and put an edited portion here here as a PB funny.


Theo Gallus
Moderator
Member # 1187

Member Rated:
posted July 07, 2006 11:43 PM
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.... pertinent factor for comparison with the "Northern" vs "Southern" differences us Easterners have.

Or, to quote Robert Duvall in Days of Thunder: "If you're from California, you're not a Yankee. If you're from California, you're not anything."

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Non carborundum illegitimatus!
(totus res in temperantia)



Bruce Condello
Moderator
Member # 1379

Member Rated:
posted July 08, 2006 10:55 AM
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Well, let's briefly look at what fish are available to crop off excess bluegill YOY's in regards to region.

"Northern" predators

6. Homo Sapiens--Much more effective at controlling larger adult fish. Often humans will skew bluegill populations towards smaller adult fish

"Southern" predators


4. Homo Sapiens--Most southern anglers have absolutely no idea how to catch a bluegill...or anything for that matter. Have been known to spend hours trying to catch fish at their ponds only to realize they left their fishing equipment at home. Southern humans also tend to stunt. Researchers note that southern ponds are often completely surrounded by fisherman that rarely exceed three feet tall.


...ooops. Did I just say that out loud?
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Posts: 1872 | From: Denton, NE | Registered: Aug 2004 | IP: Logged |

Dave Davidson1
Moderator
Member # 2431

Member Rated:
posted July 08, 2006 11:52 AM
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Well said and unfortunately true,Bruce. You know, when I was a Kid, the average Texan went about 6'4" and had a really high IQ. Everybody was a great fisherman and a dead shot with any type of weapon. Then Northern immigration got underway and the inevitable bloodline mixing occurred. Now, we are a lot shorter and dumber.

I saw something in the newspaper the other day. The Texas State INS rooted out an undercover OKIE who had been passing as a resident for 20 years. He had been taking remedial schooling to prep for kindergarten. They tried to deport him but Oklahoma refused to take him back. Attempts to slip him into N.Mex, Arkansas and Louisiana also failed. Finally, some Liberal, non working, do gooders in Nebraska took him in. It is my understanding that the move raised the IQ level of both Texas and Nebraska.

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It's not about the fish. It's about the pond. Take care of the pond and the fish will be fine. PB subscriber since before it was in color.

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Posts: 657 | From: Hurst & Bowie, Texas | Registered: Jan 2006 | IP: Logged |


Theo Gallus
Moderator
Member # 1187

Member Rated:
posted July 08, 2006 01:40 PM
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Attention Southern Anglers:

In exchange for safe passage from the M-D Line to Arlington and back next March, I will provide Bruce's room number.

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Non carborundum illegitimatus!
(totus res in temperantia)

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Posts: 2187 | From: Central Ohio | Registered: May 2004 | IP: Logged |

ewest
Moderator
Member # 1798

posted July 08, 2006 02:34 PM
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Bruce we must be good at attracting and catching Yankees because there are a bunch of them moving down here. BTW Neb is western not northern. Big difference. I here you guys and Colo. are good at attracting left coasters (Calif.) as they rent u-hauls and move out.

Theo no safe passage needed you guys are welcome anytime. We may not know how to catch fish but no one does a PB convention/meeting as well.

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Ichthyusiasts read Pond Boss Magazine

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Sunil
Lunker
Member # 785

posted July 08, 2006 05:26 PM
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I demand a North vs. South paintball battle as a side event during next years meeting.

Theo, don't be a turncoat! We'll take Condello & the other Nebraskans as Northerners. We also get all participants from Thailand.

Man.........We gonna mess you up!!!!!!!!

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Pond Boss Subscriber & Books Owner

"If I don't see you no more on this world, I'll meet you on the next one, and don't be late...........don't be late."

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Posts: 1146 | From: Somerset, PA | Registered: Sep 2003 | IP: Logged |

Dave Davidson1
Moderator
Member # 2431

Member Rated:
posted July 08, 2006 06:01 PM
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Guns or wrist rockets? I have both.

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It's not about the fish. It's about the pond. Take care of the pond and the fish will be fine. PB subscriber since before it was in color.

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Posts: 657 | From: Hurst & Bowie, Texas | Registered: Jan 2006 | IP: Logged |

Sunil
Lunker
Member # 785

posted July 08, 2006 09:13 PM
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I said paintball Guvnor Davidson!! Not dueling!

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Pond Boss Subscriber & Books Owner

"If I don't see you no more on this world, I'll meet you on the next one, and don't be late...........don't be late."

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Posts: 1146 | From: Somerset, PA | Registered: Sep 2003 | IP: Logged |

ewest
Moderator
Member # 1798

posted July 08, 2006 10:05 PM
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In the great southern tradition (like watermelon seed spiting and mullet tossing ) we can have a GSF chunking contest. See who can throw a wet 4 inch GSF the farthest.

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Ichthyusiasts read Pond Boss Magazine

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Posts: 2189 | From: Miss. | Registered: Mar 2005 | IP: Logged |

Bruce Condello
Moderator
Member # 1379

Member Rated:
posted July 08, 2006 10:09 PM
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...and a larval trawling tiebreaker.
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Posts: 1872 | From: Denton, NE | Registered: Aug 2004 | IP: Logged |

dave in el dorado ca
Lunker
Member # 2716

Member Rated:
posted July 08, 2006 10:31 PM
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quote:
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Originally posted by Theo Gallus:
DIED, I think the length of your growing season, particularly wrt pond water temps, would be the pertinent factor for comparison with the "Northern" vs "Southern" differences us Easterners have.

Or, to quote Robert Duvall in Days of Thunder: "If you're from California, you're not a Yankee. If you're from California, you're not anything."
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couple of humurous jabs at CA....begs a quick reply.....theo and ewest.....all i'll say is i'll have little to do with the majority of people in S.F. or L.A. (i hope they break off during an earthquake), and the more folks that leave the state the better....please take more.

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quote:
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Originally posted by ewest:
In the great southern tradition (like watermelon seed spiting and mullet tossing ) we can have a GSF chunking contest. See who can throw a wet 4 inch GSF the farthest.
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Mullet tossing? Up here, we tossed the mullet out years ago and have moved on to other bad haircuts.

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Theo I did not want to get further off topic so I added this edit. I was talking about the fish called mullet ( 6+ in long silver saltwater fish) not people with odd haircuts.

[ July 09, 2006, 08:13 AM: Message edited by: ewest ]

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Non carborundum illegitimatus!
(totus res in temperantia)

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Posts: 2187 | From: Central Ohio | Registered: May 2004 | IP: Logged |

Dave Davidson1
Moderator
Member # 2431

Member Rated:
posted July 08, 2006 10:50 PM
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Sunil, I'm also talking about paintballs. I have a gun and a wristrocket that is is pretty mean at short ranges.

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It's not about the fish. It's about the pond. Take care of the pond and the fish will be fine. PB subscriber since before it was in color.

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Posts: 657 | From: Hurst & Bowie, Texas | Registered: Jan 2006 | IP: Logged |

Bill Cody
Moderator
Member # 24

Member Rated:
posted July 08, 2006 10:54 PM
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Stay on the topic you guys.



Bruce Condello
Moderator
Member # 1379

Member Rated:
posted July 08, 2006 11:14 PM
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As far as staying on topic, Bill is right.

Deal?
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Posts: 1872 | From: Denton, NE | Registered: Aug 2004 | IP: Logged |

Dave Davidson1
Moderator
Member # 2431

Member Rated:
posted July 09, 2006 08:47 AM
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Deal!

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It's not about the fish. It's about the pond. Take care of the pond and the fish will be fine. PB subscriber since before it was in color.

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Posts: 657 | From: Hurst & Bowie, Texas | Registered: Jan 2006 | IP: Logged |

Mudcat Joe on why fish tail muscles have
)))))))))))))
(((((((((((((
)))))))))))))
(((((((((((((
and how they work.

http://www.pondboss.com/cgi-bin/ubbcgi/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=20&t=003047

Songs of the south " Oxbow River Raftin " with catfish and coondog Blue.

http://www.pondboss.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=20;t=002866;p=1

March of the Toy Soldier Crawfish - or Why did the crawfish cross the road.

http://www.pondboss.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=72255&fpart=1


http://www.pondboss.com/cgi-bin/ubbcgi/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=20;t=003051;p=1

From Ryan Freeze: (I didn't want to ruin Richard Abernathy's thread).

I may know of some who use Karmex(diuron)in their ponds resulting in crystal clear water and no weeds, and no algae. It is cheap but the negative effect on the pond ecosystem, required permit, and 10 day application process didn't seem worth it. I think the guys I may know just mix it up in a bucket and dump it in. Pretty scary and I'm sure EPA penalties would be steep if they were caught. I have read of Southern catfish farms using it to control blue-green algae but they did so under a special temporary permit. I asked the local fish farm about Karmex and the guy became pretty irritated saying "YOU WANT FROGS WITH FOUR LEGS!?!" ...well...yes... I didn't really answer him but I think he meant more than four legs or four eyes or something.

Ryan's post about the "four legged frogs" made me laugh so hard I had to post the following story.


I was driving around in Central Kansas at 5 a.m. headed for a lake to fish for wipers, when I realized that I had forgotton to procure a fishing license. We were in a fairly sizable town and I stopped at every grocery store that we could find open but nobody had fishing licenses, nor did anyone know where we could get one.

After a frustrating hour of failure, we drove out of town toward the lake, not knowing what to do. As if materializing from thin air we drove by a gas station with an attendant inside. We walked in and I encountered a fella that looked like maybe he wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed.

I looked him square in the eye and said, "Can you sell me an out of state fishing license"?

He paused, tipped his head up a little, scratched under the brim of his cap and replied, "What state ya wantin' to fish in"?

I bought a candy bar and left.

titter