Pond Boss Forums INTRO Common Pond Q&A (archives) PB Funnies Thanks....and farewell.

Guys I just wanted you to know I have nothing important or amusing to say, but I think I am actually losing weight laughing so hard at this thread.

Thanks for starting it Bruce (I missed out on most of the year's comments).

Deb

brettski -

don't worry - you will be one of us soon - do not try to fight it - the master is merciful - he gives us special cans of diet mountan dew to make us do his bidding - it is all so beautiful - look i have no cavities

igor #6

After posting last night, I fell asleep and had a terrible nightmare. All I can remember is laying back in a big mint green plastic recliner, a light socket pull chain was wrapped around my neck with a paper towel hanging on my chest, and I was scared stiff, hypnotized by the bright light shining into my face! I woke up, slumped over my computer keyboard and sweating. When I opened up my email, I found 37 new emails from Ebay indicating that I was the winner, purchasing every "Buy it now" option of Sonic-care toothbrushes on the entire site! What is going on?

Brettski :

That is an easy one to answer. You are suffering the first symptoms of the life threating bite of a toothed Condello strain BG. Originally created by Dr. Frankenbruce to lure new dental clients based on thier fabulous teeth they are now out of control after chewing off the legs of igor # 3 when he stepped into their pond to pull out the good Dr. who fell in while wildly LOL about his creation. They are the first species that can make contact (move through phone/cable lines) to attack unsuspecting PB'ers. Sorry about your condition but many of us suffer from it and continue to post with less than full mental capicity. :p

ps : That is why many of us are concerned about Dr. F's (new good term for him) new creation the cannibal YP who we think may not need lines to attack PBers and can function in cold temps. They seen to have a paranormal ability after escaping the boiled alive event. Deb where are you and your crew of paranormal seekers, we have a job for you in Neb. Help us before these two strains of BG and YP cross and all hope is lost.

I figure if life was really fair, we would have all been born with stainless steel teeth, flexible waist lines (come to think of it, mine is), Aquaview vision, and firmly rooted hair.

Oh yeah, I forgot about daughters that believe that Dad knows what he is talking about.

Now you need to worry Brettski. You have contracted Condelepathytism. It is an wide spreading case of a mixture of telepathy and hypnotism (among PB members) that comes from reading at least 9 of Bruce’s posts in one day. I am currently doing heavy research on this disorder, but so far have not come up with a plausible “how” to his methods? My best guess is he somehow is capable of reading your every thought once you have followed his posts, and then he simply induces a “fog like” state upon you through subliminal PC hypnosis. At that point he is in control of your every dental making decision. It happened to me one night, and I did not realize it until UPS brought me 14 lbs of dental floss that I had “ordered” from Amazon with express delivery. Then there was the incident with the flatbed order of mouthwash. That one really tapped my checkbook. Still gives me nightmares.
The only way to combat this disorder is to stop reading Bruce’s posts at #8 each day. I will continue research and get back to you.

Theo, nice porcelain caps dude.

Ewest that is a better hypothesis than mine. I will pack my gear, round up the team, and be there shortly. This most surely reeks of paranormal activity. A deep fried YP is sure to have cadavor anger.

Thanks Deb just don't let them put the Dr.'s gas mask on you or step in the water with those BG and avoid the YP fog.

Here is another funny :

Sunil ...says

I also believe that the SMB is the smartest fish in the world, and should have a seat in the highest levels of Local, State, and National U.S. Government.


ewest..posted

Sunil :

Your SMB sure are smart. They were center stage on TV and there are a lot of people who try and can't do that. I guess that makes them smarter than a lot of the Hollywood crowd.

Sunil ...replies

ewest, it's funny you mention that because one of my smallies just won a spelling bee against Cameron Diaz! I am so proud.

Now, several of my SMB are in training to try out for Jeopardy. They wanted to be on Wheel of Fortune, but I convinced them that they couldn't spin the wheel.


Dave Davidson .. adds

Sunil, there is nothing smart about running for governmental office. First, they would have to go to law school. Then, if that didn't work out, they could go into politics.

http://www.pondboss.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=5;t=000379;p=9

Oh... I received a mask in the mail Thursday with a postmark from Nebraska. Haven't had the time to try it out though. Thanks for the heads up Eric.

I THINK(?) I had one "funny" this year.

Bruce\'s attack

I know Condello enjoyed it (but then again it could have been the gas issue again).

DON'T PUT IT ON, DEB! I received a gas mask also, sent from the office of your concerned Congressman SMB of Nebraska. While the enclosed memo indicates that it should be gathered with water, canned goods, and an electric toothbrush in case of a terrorist attack, I have serious doubts.

And to think we trusted these guys with our ponds. Now we know it is just a political conspiracy to infiltrate terroristic cannibal YP.

Ha fearless leaders, Brettski and I are now on to you.

Brettski are you rationed-up for the impending attack? By all means DON'T take the electric toothbrush underground. The YP will track the vibronic (is that even a word) waves and getcha.

Amidst all these funny posts, we've almost completely ignored a parallel thread going on right now, which is Cecil's "Blow-up doll girlfriend" ice shanty. If that isn't a sign of cabin fever, I don't know what is. It's like a guy who loves to snow ski, but doesn't have any snow, so he starts covering his lawn with cotton balls. That thread and this one are sure signs that we're not getting out enough!

We await your command to attack Cecil like the flying monkeys on the Wizard of Oz. I stand poised, with toothbrush in hand....just give the word...
(ohh wee ohh...ohhhh, ohhhh)

Apparently you didn't get the message about drinking the Kool-Aid.

AAAHHHHHH! It's the (gulp) Kool-Aid. *hickup*

Bruce wrote:
(in your best "Yooper" voice): Yah hey d'ere, and she looks like a good strudy woman, eh? Cri-mo-nee d'ere Cecil, be careful wit'cher filet knife!

Oh gawd..."chattering like a racoon..." Man, I think I peed my pants just a little bit there...

Here is another funny post on dam beaver :

http://www.pondboss.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=3;t=000091;p=1#000004

If you find a funny PB post add it here so maybe we can find it again.

[ January 24, 2006, 10:01 PM: Message edited by: ewest ]

Here is another funny thread with pics. starting with Theo's Fridge/Dew test and running through the birth of the Coonhoundello fishing dog species and including the TV cat and its diploid/triploid offspring.

http://www.pondboss.com/cgi-bin/ubbcgi/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=20;t=002339;p=1

http://forums.pondboss.com/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=63675&page=1

Adding to the funnies list the baritone Bullfrog

http://www.pondboss.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=20;t=002810;p=1#000011

OH’ man you guys know how to make a guy feel better! I have really felt BAD about stealing the frog! Now I feel privileged ,due to the amphibian theft!

Thanks for updating this collection and bringing it up again, Eric. I had forgotten how hilarious and LONG the Diet Dew Addict Identifridge Contest was. Especially when Bruce's left ear got editted with an Etch-a-Sketch!

Guys don't forget this funnies thread. The master has directed us to add the good ones here so we can find them later. I know there are some good ones that need to be added and I could use some help in finding them and keeping it in tip top shape as ordered. I am adding them as located with a short description like Pirates and global warming.

http://www.pondboss.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=10;t=000155;p=1#000000

Sunil's canoe flipped by navy frogmen.

Sunil
Lunker
Member # 785

posted June 19, 2006 05:17 PM
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ah yes, "insurance in case something weird happens.."

The first year we owned our pond, my friend and I were out on the canoe at around 1AM. It was about 45 degrees outside, and the water temps were maybe low 50's. At this time of night, we were not fishing, but instead just drinking, etc.

My friend is about 225 lbs. compared to my 155 lbs. He's in the front of the canoe.

Next thing I know, the canoe starts hard rocking from side to side, and then in the drink we go. That cold water is pretty exhilirating when you dont' expect it.

I did have a moment of fear as the many layers of clothing I was wearing got soaked through. We were in about 15' of water, and I was shocked for a moment, before I swam for shore.

In the end, CSI determined that it was not our fault at all, but instead that Navy Seal Team 6 was on night manuevers, and sabotaged our ship. My friend swears that when he was underwater, he came face to face with a frog-man, and had to grapple & fight for his life.

--------------------
Pond Boss Subscriber & Books Owner

"If I don't see you no more on this world, I'll meet you on the next one, and don't be late...........don't be late."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posts: 1119 | From: Somerset, PA | Registered: Sep 2003 | IP: Logged |