Pond Boss Forums GENERAL QUESTIONS Pond Boss Guests inviting guests and more guests....lol

Do you guys ever have this problem?

When I invite friends/family to come out to the property it almost always leads to a growing list of additional visitors.

My worst experience was one guy asked to come fish, after I said yes, he then said "do you mind if I bring my brother?", I said "sure", then the next day he said "do you mind if my dad tags along too"...sure no problem. By the time Saturday arrived and all the guys, wives, cousins, and kids kept arriving there was 17 people there. Yes I am not kidding you....everybody is all smiles, having a good time...so what do ya do? I didn't want to be the bad guy. I will say that guy has not been invited back, and he has asked, and I just say "not this weekend".

Recently another friend asked if he could "come out for his birthday and fish for the day"...of course I said sure. A few days later he stated his brother was coming as well to enjoy his birthday too. Then next his brother's wife wants to come, and then the wife now wants to bring some grandchildren.

Look I know we have these places to enjoy with our friends and family....and it's certainly not too much fun sitting at the pond all by yourself 52 weeks a year....but good grief it just seems like people don't get it.

I don't wanna be rude or scare people off. How do you guys diplomatically handle invited guests inviting more guests?

In the big picture it doesn't happen that often, so maybe it's really not worth worrying about?

Trying to avoid this...lol

(this isn't actually my place)

I think you just have to be clear.

When the first person asks, you can say, "yes, you can come by yourself."

Or, when that person asks about about a second person, say "OK, but no more than that."

Truly, the person who does that kind of thing (ask about bringing more people, or just showing up with more people) is really just an ass with no respect for your place, and there's no reason to have them in your life.

Now, just to give a little love, what if a guy says "Hey, can me and my kid come over and fish?" I think that is not the mark of an ass, so I would reply "yes, but only the two of you."

That is ridiculous Mark!

I think from now on if someone asked you say sure....no problem, but only you.

lol... I can see this happening to me if I'm not careful. Maybe limit the # of fishing poles? One invite one chance rule. Probably best to just say no, and put a stop to it before it becomes an issue.

I have people in my family like that. It is really not a lack of respect, but everything turns into a big gathering. More the merrier thing. It is just the way they are, and always have big gatherings at their place as well.

I have a couple events every year at my place (clay pigeon shoots/BBQs) and have had to curb a similar problem. Albeit, I am part of the event, but do need some control on the volume and maturity of the guests. I invite friends, coworkers, and neighbors, but have to insist that there be an age limit. I can't have fun (at my own party)with youngsters running around possibly unsupervised while 10 to 20 grown ups are shooting clays. In my case, the requirement for excepting the invite is "no one under the age of 15 and they must be engaged with the shooting" not running though the creek or chasing the dogs or whatever. It works pretty good, however, the disadvantage is some folks can't come if they can't bring their spouse and kids. The advantage is that I can still have a relaxed time hosting an event.

Zep, if that many people showed up at my pond (like your picture), I'd turn the neighbor's dobermans out and watch'em scatter.

I think you have to just stand up for your comfort zone and rely on the guest/s respecting your wishes. Once my pond has fish to catch in it, the neighbor boy will have an open invitation so long as the following 25 rules are observed. I'll spare you the rules, you get the picture.

I like the idea of one pole. That way they can decide if they want to share, rather than you being the bad guy.

Along these same lines, you could designate some of your rods as the only rods that can be used on your pond. Properly rigged and ready to go and the only rods that are allowed.

IMO you need to be direct and address this issue.

Because if you don't head it off head on, it is only going to be worse down the road.

Someone is going to see a trophy fish (from their perspective) and come back around early, late, or when you're not there. Someone is going to leave a hook on the ground and someone you care about is going to step on it.

NO ONE came around our pond for almost 15 years. It sat abandoned, the road overgrown, the dock rotted away, weeds everywhere, etc etc etc. Only after I fixed the road, the dock, the pond side, and stocked the pond did family start coming around. And then they brought friends. And it has turned into a nightmare of a situation where one set of cousins come with friends and leaves trash, broken bottles and glass, shoot across the pond casings eject into the pond, burned our firewood we seasoned and stacked, etc.

Very few want to do the work. But many want to enjoy the fruits of that labor (and cash). People ... unfortunately many are lazy, disrespectful, selfish, and just douchetards.

I hope you feel comfortable enough to speak to whomever you share your pond with to set the rules and explain why.

ya know it's not even so much the amount of fishing, it's just the sheer volume of people that are not invited, but tag along...the wives, the in-laws, the friend of a friend, the kids, the grandkids..."can we drive the ATV's?"...one kid brought his sling-shot and was constantly picking up gravel rocks off the road and slinging them into one of the ponds...ok a few rocks don't cost that much....but hell that gravel road sure did cost a lot! people/parents, they just don't think about stuff, they think all this beauty we create at our ponds was "just Pooof and it all happened by accident", but i am not becoming a hermit!...lol...i guess it is something we all have to deal with sooner or later.

Always good to limit the amount of invites given and the amount of people who attend.

I recall one time several years ago when we had two Honda 100cc dirtbikes and a sweet 50cc Honda minibike. We didn't have helmets for them.

Two parents brought up their 12 year old kid, and the kid wanted to ride any of the dirt bikes or the minibike.

I said no 'cause we didn't have helmets, and the kid proceeds to make everyones' life hell 'cause he can't ride the motorbikes.

What was worse was that the parents were telling me it was OK if the kid rode without a helmet. I still said no.

My wife calls this "grump old man syndrome". And yes I think we all get it, some faster than others.

Sunil I know the feeling....it's happened twice now....yes I am an idiot allowing it to happen....but what starts out is the kid is riding with Dad. Then 20 mins later I see Dad fishing and the kid rides by solo on the ATV. Lawsuit waiting to happen. So from now on it's going to be "sorry the ATV's are not working". I copied an ATV release agreement off the internet, but heck signed agreement or not, people will still sue you if they break their neck, even if they are riding recklessly.

I grew up in an Illinois county (St. Clair) that was/is loaded with personal damage attorneys....and a couple of them are my friends (scary I know). They have always told us to dramatically limit the number of people we allow to go fishing at our place on their own (we do) and to never, ever allow their kids to ride our ATVs, motorcycles, Polaris', etc. They would tell you that if somebody gets hurt, in many cases, no matter how well you know them they will still sue....and that comes from their own experiences.

You just have to strictly control access or it can quickly get out of hand. It always amazes me that people who fished there with someone we know will later call us on their own and ask to fish or assume they can just show up and fish. We have had to tell many people "no" over the years but do have a core group that fishes the BOWs and knows and follows the rules.

We share our place with family and friends, and we like to do that, but there has to be some limits and the people using the place have to understand and follow the rules.

My two cents for what it is worth. BM61.

Plus none of us want anyone, especially kids, to get injured.

This kid made life so miserable for everyone when he couldn't ride.

A few weekends later, the parents remember to bring a helmet for the kid. So, we let him ride one of the hundreds, and the kid monopolizes the thing so no one else could ride the damn bike (one of the 100cc wasn't running well). One time, the kid was riding right through the camp area, and I was blatantly flagging him down to stop, and the pissant just kept going!!!

I like those parents, but they really never set the kid straight.

Yep Sunil...that kid never met my Dad. Would only happen once. My Dad, God Bless him...he hardly ever, ever, ever spanked us...but when he looked at ya...you sat up straight and behaved.

I don't invite anyone locally but my sister and BIL. Those catfish cost $$$ to feed to the size they are, and are too easy to catch in our small pond. I have a neighbor 2.5 miles south who has 1.5, 4, and 7 acre ponds. He lets me fish, but I know the rules and never bring anyone, not even my wife, and I only go there a few times a year.

A terribly sensitive subject. As a rule... not all, but most people do not like to fish alone. A kid fishing with adult supervision that is respectful of my property, I probably would not mind on an invite only basis. To people wanting to fish, I explain that I have incurred a substantial investment & expense, and how many fish would they like to "buy".....that usually ends the conversation quickly. I hate to be that way, but left unchecked folks will abuse your resource.
Charlie

I tend to be a direct person. I have guests that fish, but have not had a single problem. I am not mean, but I am clear. I do love watching kids catch fish!

I usually fish alone, but a few times a year with the wife. I don't mind fishing alone.

I make exceptions for kids. The more the merrier. Adults are only there to assist in their experience.

I'm with you, John. I prefer to fish alone....its just more peaceful.

I wouldn't mind a little child catching a catfish at my pond, but the problem is the adults. If I let someone bring a small child, they would see the proliferation of catfish in the pond, word would get around, and soon there would be three or four men at my pond at night trying to fish it out. If people ask, I say there are only small bluegill and fingerlings in the pond.

I love having first time fisherman and/or kids at the pond. The look on their faces and the excitement is worth every penny spent on the pond. I don't fish when they're there. I spend my time taking fish off hooks and explaining the proper handling of fish as I do it.

I also enjoy fishing alone but there are times when I wish I could have shared the experience with someone. A couple years back I was fishing the river early one morning. A chipmunk was trying to run off with my breakfast (pack of cheese crackers), a wild turkey flew across the river and suddenly a bald eagle swoops down and nails a fish in the rapids. I told my bride what happened but I sure wish she had been there that morning to see it...... I don't remember if I caught anything....

I suppose its like everything else, we all look at things differently. To me, fishing is an escape. It's time for me, away from noise, stress, etc. I know many folks turn fishing into a social event, with a friend(s) to talk with and share the experience alongside them. And I understand. And I've done that also, and enjoyed it immensely. But I do so with the knowledge that fishing is secondary to socializing in those situations. It's a good time for sure.

But when I'm fishing for me, the focus is on fishing. I can take my fishing pretty seriously when I'm in the zone, and that's when I tune everything else out and just concentrate on the task at hand.

One thing for sure, no matter how you choose to go about it, fishing is good for you.

Absolutely!

...BTW I shared my cheese crackers with the chipmunk. Little fella took them right out of my hand. I guess an old man at 6 AM sitting on an upside down 5 gallon bucket is not very scary...Not sure what I'll do if the next time I go to that honey hole on the river and the chipmunk brings all his kin!

Mark, that's a tough one. I generally tell people that I am raising fish, not catching them. If I fish my 1.5 acre pond over about 3 or 4 times per year the fish get hook shy. And, a fish caught during the summer hot water is probably going to die.

I have had the same problem with deer hunting. I like the idea of getting kids involved in outdoor activities like fishing and hunting. I've been too successful with 4 kids hunting 133 acres. They started at 10 years old and are now 18. Their parents can't afford a deer lease. The deer figured it out and I now rarely see anything but tracks.

Mark,

As you know, I invite a lot of people out to the farm. I have not yet had a big problem with anyone I have invited. I have a lot of rules and I make darn sure the rules are known in advance. I always have a project available if needed to fill the time and use up some "extra" energy.

Also, If some one wants to come out, I ask if they are expecting to bring any one with them right up front. If they try to change the request, it is at my discretion, and they only get one chance to do that. If it happens again, a family emergency pops up and the outing is CNXed.

Fishing is about having fun and my research. If they are going to fish, they are going to cull and clean the ones I want. If I have the WW out, they can have any fish they want, they have earned them.

I only let very good friends shoot. If I have a new shooter come out, they are one on one, and I am the boss, period. Any push back, and its over. The range is closed, even if I am the bad guy.

If someone wants to bring out family, and then more family, and then more family, and then... I'll have a conversation with the original person and ask why I have earned this disrespect. That said, we have great places and they want to share them with their family. So it is a balancing act. If you don't want any problems, don't invite anyone, but please don't change the combo on the gate...

I find the easiest way to minimize the problems is to be up front on the rules, and enforce them.

Of course, shooting a snake or two also sets the tone

Brian, what does this mean? " If you don't want any problems, don't invite anyone, but please don't change the combo on the gate... "

I know the combo to mark's gate....

OK. Please PM that to me.

Since you're passing out gate combo's, I'll need directions too!

Here we go...

Don't worry, Noel.

Zep gave Brian permission to fish, and I'm friends with Brian, so I have permission too.

I'll send you the combo when I get it!!

That'd be grate, I'll jus asoom I can bring sum close family (for a vacasheon, a week or so, or atleast til tha moonshine runs out)...

Hey Now! I do have friends!

Dave, I do the same thing. Most don't get it and likely feel I'm being selfish. Drop close to $1mm of hard and soft money on an investment coupled with multiple near death experiences being stupid and one tends to become selective on whom has access. Further, never been able to get over the magical plus 1 on invites to friends to fish. Always has bugged me...hope you don't mind I invited a buddy or two with me? What am I going to say?

Oh, and Zep, I've never had anything like you or others have mentioned happen...I don't think I could have handled it so diplomatically. I recommend setting firm ground rules - there are plenty of Federal and State rec areas they can frequent and there's no limit on the number of friends you can bring along! Note the condition of those rec areas in NE are always littered with trash.

One of our "perks"for our farm employees is they can fish the pond. Each spring I type up (modify last years) a single page of regulations for them to follow. It is in writing, so there is no "I thouht you meant". It covers what they can and can't take to eat, slot limits, etc.

The rule I have is they personally can fish the pond anytime they like (as long as it is not company time and I am paying wages..... ) . Some day I may have to modify that, but to date no one has been a problem of excessive use. They can bring a buddy, or they can bring their family. What they can not do is let their family or buddy come without them. They (the employee) is ultimately responsible for anything that goes on at the pond. If they or their group trash it up or otherwise behave improperly, fishing rights can be eliminated. We only keep responsible employees, so to date it has worked fine. We actually only have a few that take advantage of it a couple times a year.

I know this would not work for die hard fishermen, which I am not. My pond is for general recreation with trophy fish only by accident if it happens. So hook shy fish is not a big concern for me. Just get some HYBG and they bite pretty readily.

My contribution to this thread is that I use written rules so there is no ambiguity, and I make sure that there is a single person held responsible for any group actions. My grandson brings buddies to fish, but he gets advance permision and he knows if there is trouble he is the one responsible for any of their actions and his privelages as well as his buddies are subject to revocation.

A couple of thoughts. Be sure of the liability you assume by inviting people over. What happens is ultimately on you even if your guests act in a stupid manner. Be upfront with your rules and make them acknowledge that they understand and will follow them.

I have a rule that applies to me - if kids are fishing then I don't fish. Its about their safe and enjoyable experience not mine.

The best thing I ever done unintentionally to prevent unwanted fishing was to start Hosting the Disadvantaged / Handicap fishing event. Things changed after the word got out what was happening there.

It appears most People do not want to be labeled as TAKING or STEALING from HANDICAP CHILDREN. I no longer find the magical floating corks and unknown foot prints on a regular basis. Friends are no longer harassing me about fishing and taking fish as they know the fish go towards a good cause. The few people that do fish are generally very respectful and will only take enough for a meal.

By no means does it end every problem though, New problems present themselves in other ways. For example had a dad that brought a disabled child and I arrived to find him fishing and the child in the vehicle.

Personal Umbrella Coverage thru my insurance company is a $275 annual payment for $1,000,000 in coverage. They sent me a estimate the other day to up it to $2,000,000 for a $450 annual payment.

Good ideas and info in this thread...I have a just built 3/4 acre pond with many family and friends/kids etc that plan on fishing . I realize a 3/4 pond isn't going to take a lot of fishing pressure, going to try and limit it best I can . I am also going to try and stock fish that can be ladder stocked/removed and hopefully eliminate some of the hook shyness...HSB, HBG, YP, etc...

Also will help having a pool, and will encourage guest to 'feed' the fish at times when fishing pressure has been heavy. I think some kids would enjoy throwing pellets and walking the pond as much as fishing.
Honestly, most kids will fish for awhile , catch a few and then be done...so not real bad....but like mentioned in the post, it is usually adults and friends of friends that cause issues... or kids visiting that aren't fishing or 'bored'...

Thanks Eric....I did add an umbrella.

I wonder if placing a property into a trust is of any value in regard to liability? Right now I have it in an LLC.



Tums I did the same thing...see below & yes I sleep better at night...lol

+1 on the umbrella policy, had it with my old house that had in ground pool and will have it for my pond and pool on new house.

A farm pond is not considered an "attractive nuisance" like a swimming pool is.

Great thread.

Mark, I tell people it's flyfishing only here. When they ask about the LMB, I tell them I have great big perch! That handles most of them.

My neighbor across the street helps a lot too. He knows everybody, and when they ask him about my pond, he tells them that they ain't fishin' there, so don't ask. I try to keep his pond nicely stocked.

I've actually gotten access to some ponds by offering to cull LMB for the absentee owner. They would set the sizes, and we would follow the rules.

Last year a couple of the "kids" that I have taken hunting and fishing for years, now 18 YOA, went to my place to hog hunt and fish. I didn't have a problem and they know where I keep the keys to the gate, house, 4 wheelers, etc. When I got there a week later, I looked for my box of flies. Couldn't find them. Some in my fly collection are over 50 years old and some were made for me by George. Those 2 went back up to look for them but also couldn't find them. The one that was fly fishing told me that he would replace them. He ties great flies and can do it in a hurry. I checked with him several times and kept getting excuses. After a couple of months, I texted him and got another excuse. I texted back that I was through with him and that he wasn't coming back. About an hour later he texted that he had tied about 25 to 30 flies for me. The other "kid" told me that he hadn't built the subject flies. I didn't respond and won't respond. He didn't hunt last year on my place and isn't welcome back. I hated to do it. But, having served in the military with some 17 and 18 year olds, I'm not inclined to cut any slack to anyone who disrespects me and my hospitality. My grandson and the other "kids" understand completely.

Zep insurance is a great idea. Others just because you do things right does not mean someone will not file suit at the drop of a hat. Be sure your insurance includes the cost of defense. Can't advise on TX law as to LLC vs trust but neither one protects a person who is negligent. The property may be protected but the person may not be. It depends. Written releases are a good idea.

Thanks Eric.

Sometimes I wish I could put myself in a trust!