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#41290 12/19/06 12:32 AM
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 Quote:
Originally posted by Svoberts:
I can't believe that is the best that Cecil can come up with!
So you're saying I'm probably dumber than I put on? \:D \:D \:D

Believe it or not, I actually think a few things out before I do them. I plan and plan and plan, and when I finally execute the plan I realize I made the wrong decision! Never fails!
:rolleyes:


If pigs could fly bacon would be harder to come by and there would be a lot of damaged trees.






#41291 12/19/06 09:45 AM
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Like so many before me, the stupid stunt award is a recurring event. Secretly, I hope the academy will nominate me for the stupid stunt lifetime achievement award. I’ve worked hard at perfecting my craft.
So, I’ve been holding back to make sure that I am in good company….seems to be pretty safe. Here goes…
18 years old, just graduated from high school 2 days ago, long haired hippie looking, legally certified adult with a serious party-boy attitude. Time for a road trip.
I loved motorcycles. Easy Rider provided my highest cinema influence. Yep, that’s the adventure for me. I worked since I was 15 years old, so I broke open my piggy bank and bought the most bike I could afford; a used Honda 350. This would be my trusty steed as I planned my freedom tour to New Orleans and beyond. (this would also be a stupid stunt in of itself as a loaded down Honda 350 was definitely not the bike-du-jour for a long distance tour….Perfect!).
4 weeks allocated, $400 cash in my pocket, an orange 2-man pup tent and sleeping bag strapped to a sissy bar. My only riding companion was Rand McNally…gimme the open road!
I left Chicago and headed for Bull Shoals in Arkansas, back to Memphis, the Great River Road all the way to Nawlins. Across the Florida panhandle to Tampa and across to Daytona. Nothing was stopping me…except…I ran outta money. I’m sleeping in a pup tent in Daytona with $20 in my pocket and no credit cards. Enough money for gas and a couple of donuts. Oh man, I gotta git home without losing face….only one answer.
I rode straight through, non-stop, from Daytona Beach to Chicago. 22 hours of manly determination with one goal in mind; there’s no place like home. Only one blip. Somewhere just south of Indianapolis, on I-65 (4 lane, divided highway) right about rush-hour.….I fell asleep. 65 MPH in leather boots and jacket AND A HELMET, I actually closed my eyes and nodded off. When they re-opened a second later, I was still going 65 MPH but the bike was laying flat on the expressway and I was perched on top, sitting on the side of the red hot engine and spinning down the right lane in a dream. This dream, perhaps nightmare, was punctuated by only one memory; a pair of Winnebago headlights flashed by my eyes with each revolution. About halfway into my slide, I realized my butt was on fire. I kicked off and went into a human barrel roll in the passing lane. Then it all stopped.
Traffic stopped in both directions on I-65. I laid there and watched as truck drivers stopped on the other side of the highway and ran across the grass median to help scrape me up. The family in the ‘bago ran up and asked me the obvious; “are you OK?”. I twitched a little, then stood up and brushed myself off. My only response was “What happened to my bike?” as I spotted it, slid over onto the shoulder and not quite right. They immediately hustled me back to the Winnegago for first aid. The RV was the Grand Marshall at the head of the stopped rush-hour parade on I-65, all waiting to see what happened to the sleeper biker guy. Leather boots scraped and burnt thru, abrasions on the blue jeans, wide leather belt severely scraped (prized snake-head belt buckle unscathed…whew!), leather jacket scraped and burnt thru the shoulder, helmet scuffed and dinged. Bodily injuries? My right hand knuckles suffered severe road rash; the ‘bago family taped ‘em up good. I emerged from the RV to meet the State police. I told them the short version of my story as we walked back to my twisted steed. I stood up the Honda and quickly examined the damage. The only noticeable change was the handlebars pointed straight when the front tire pointed sharp left. My Mr. Fixit instincts kicked in. I’ve been here many times before, ever since I learned to ride a bicycle. I stood in front of the bike, facing it with the cocked front wheel firmly hugged between my legs. I grabbed the handlebars, giving them a sharp corrective twist. Hey, it worked! Not perfect, but pretty straight. I walked around, lowered the pedal on the kick-start, and she fired right up.
I re-mounted my trusty little Honda steed and bid adieu to my newfound friends. They stood slack-jawed as I pulled in the clutch, clicked first gear, and lead off the I-65 parade in a triumphant display of luck and stupidity.

#41292 12/19/06 10:45 AM
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Have you ever heard of the Darwin Awards, where people somehow manage to do their part in proving the evolution theory? They do something so stupid that they manage to get themselves killed, thus taking their uncommon lack of sense out of the gene pool. I think we have some honorable mentions here in this thread!


Shawn

#41293 12/19/06 11:24 AM
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I'm glad you were wearing leathers and a helmet, Brettski, so you can be here with us nigh well three decades later to share that story. I hold somewhat less hope for the longevity of your modern-day equivalents I see on crotch rockets wearing shorts, a tank top, and sandels.

My wife had a '74 (IIRC) Honda 350 when we got married.


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#41294 12/19/06 12:11 PM
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I've had the misfortune to see a couple of serious motorcycle wrecks. One was your typcial burly biker dude, DOA after getting hit by a truck. Don't know if a helmet would have helped him. The other was a younger (25?) girl, in full leathers and a helmet, laid a crotch rocket down on a twisty mountain road. Bad road rash, maybe something broken, but alive to tell the story. With little ones, makes me want to invest in helmets just for my workhorse ATV riding around the farm.


Shawn

#41295 12/19/06 03:16 PM
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Stupid stunt # xxxxx42 for me ... also on a motorcycle.
Back in college, bought a 100hp jap touring bike. Went on a weekend trip, heading home at 2:00 in the morning on interstate 94 here in MN. A guy on a Harley comes on the freeway and taunts me to race. He just wanted to do a "roll-on" (that means keep her in high gear and see who can out-accelerate the other). I always turned down any invitation to race cause I didn't want to get killed or get a ticket. This guy egged me on til I couldn't resist. On his mark we both let her rip. After 5 seconds I was doing over 100 and could only see his headlight getting very small in my mirror. I didn't want to face the guy again because I figured he'd want some kind of rematch so I kept the throttle open. The speedo was hovering around 135 when the bike went into a "tank slapper" (an instability of the front end caused by too little weight on the front wheel). When this happens the front wheel tries to turn around backward but of course it can't so it just oscillates back and forth. At 135 mph the handlebars where shaking back and forth at least 4 inches where my hands were holding them. I found out why it's called a "tank slapper". My knees were hitting the gas tank so hard it was dented on both sides. Needless to say I was scared &@#?$less. The worst thing about tank slappers is that once they start they only get worse if you try to slow down. So there I was keeping the throttle wide open wondering whether I would hit the end of the interstate or run out of gas first. All through this I had been riding with my feet on the rear passenger pegs. I told myself that I need to gain my composure, sit up straight, and prepare to slow down and muscle the handlebars to a standstill. As I sat up and moved my feet to the normal riders pegs the weight shift was just enough to make the shaking stop. Believe me I thanked the Lord and I'll never do it again. Never did see the Harley guy again cause I think I was 50 miles ahead of him by the time this was over. If you've never done it you have no idea how bumpy and curvy an intersate highway can be when you're going too fast.


Gotta get back to fishin!
#41296 12/19/06 08:42 PM
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I've seen many a biker continue to ride after having an accident. Some have told me that the logic is that if you've wrecked once, your chances of wrecking a second time, statistically speaking, are vastly reduced.

I know one of our members, Ken from Ohio, experienced a bad motorcycle accident so we should temper ourselves.


Excerpt from Robert Crais' "The Monkey's Raincoat:"
"She took another microscopic bite of her sandwich, then pushed it away. Maybe she absorbed nutrients from her surroundings."

#41297 12/20/06 10:30 AM
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Speaking of stupid stunts, this very morning I thought I could take my son to day care by the back roads, even after .75 inches of rain. Slid off into the ditch. Took a JD 4020 and a total of an hour to get back on the road. It's a good thing my wife loves me, since she had to rearrange her mornning schedule to help shuttle trucks.


Shawn

#41298 12/20/06 09:53 PM
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So one morning it was a snowing and a true white-out. Victoria just had to go to work to wrap up a project, so I went out to start the 4-wheel drive truck and pull it from the barn to the house so she could drive to work. Now, I should tell you, that we live on the side of a mountain and there 'ain't no level parts in these parts'. Needless to say, on the way from the barn to the house I slid off of the iced driveway and over the embankment into a very large oak tree, severely sideswiping one entire side of the truck. I stepped out of the truck, threw my hat in the snow and said a few choice words. Then, I did what every self-respecting man would do....I pulled the truck out of the ditch and back onto the driveway, parked the dented boy, and left it warm up. I walked the wife down to the truck, helped her in, said 'Be careful goin' down that steep driveway', and kissed her goodbye.

As I stood there are watched her go over the hill, I can even remember saying to myself - "Victor, what the hell were you thinking, this driveway is pure ice...?" Too late......All I heard was a horrible crash and all I saw was the snow shaking off of the trees down the holler as the truck skidded right off the hill and slammed into the thicket.

Well, Victoria was OK but the truck....Oh the truck. (Would you believe that the insurance company told me that was two separate accidents and two separate deductibles???) Anyway, that is how I almost killed my wife. I have learned to be much more responsible with her. Me...well that is another story...

#41299 12/21/06 01:28 PM
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Speaking of motorcycles...
I too am a fan of the much hated "crotchrocket". My friend stopped by my house wanting to go do some riding. He wanted to stop by his place first and grab something before heading into town. His place was just a few miles from mine so I just jumped on the 150HP 375lb machine and we blasted off to his place, my $500 top of the line helmet hanging on the side. I was in front traveling down a small backroad running about 60MPH. I crested a hill, expecting it to continue straight but to my surprise mad a 90 deg left turn. My footpeg drug partway through the apex at which point the tires broke free from the tar and chip road. The bike busted through some railroad ties blocking a drive and clearing a path for me. The left side of the bike was scattered. After making sure I was OK my friend went and got his truck and we quickly loaded the bike into his truck to avoid having to fill out a police report. On the ride to his house I noticed that most of my skin on my forearms looked like someone took a belt sander to them. My pants were torn and blood was slowly oozing. We got to his house and I asked him for some antiseptic. He carried in a can and said hold out your arms. I complied and he sprayed Solarcaine down both arms. It might has well have been tabasco. I now have scars on both arms that remind me how lucky I was that it was my arms and not my face and head.




"The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge." Stephen W. Hawking
#41300 12/21/06 01:40 PM
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Motorcycle stunt #2
One day when I was about 14 my friend and I had been riding backroads on our dirtbikes most of the day. We came over a hill near my friends barn riding side by side and at the same time a sheriff came over a hill just ahead. We jumped the ditch and cut across a field and into some woods where we hid until the sheriff car was out of sight. We made about a 3 mile loop and came in the back of his barn, changed our jackets and went out and started playing basketball. We were making jokes about how dumb those cops were to think they could catch us and about 1 minute later the sheriff car came driving across the field with lights flashing. They made us well aware of all the laws we had broken threatening several citations and stopping us from getting our driver's licenses. They had just pulled down a sideroad and then watched us circle around with binoculars.




"The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge." Stephen W. Hawking
#41301 12/22/06 01:32 AM
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He he he The cop chasing you reminded me of a stunt along time ago. My buddy just picked up a new street bike, a Suzuki GS1100, I met him at his house. He asked if I want to give it a whirl so I took off and man did that bike fly! I was crusing down a residential road about 60mph when I passed a cop, well rather than slow down I sped up and the chase was on, I could easily out run him but everytime I tried to get to my buddies house I was blocked or another cop would show up so I kept getting farther away from his house, At one time I had 3 cops trying to get close enough to me to ram me but me being a old dirt biker I would cut the yards and switch back the other direction, finally when I got back to my buddies house he had the garage door up and waiting for me, he could hear all the sirens and cops everywhere, and as soon as I flew into the garage he slammed the door down. then knocked the hell out of me. He couldnt ride his brand new bike for 2 months and when he did ride it he would be harassed by the cops. Luckily he was much taller than me and had a different helmet otherwise he wouldnt of been able to ride it at all, I know very stupid but man that was a big thrill at first than it got to a point where I was going to jail if I was caught. We rode for another year but I sold my bike thinking I was riding on borrowed time since I had been ran off the road twice and rear ended once. I figured it was time to get ride of it so I picked up something much safer.. rail buggy which I promply rolled it 3 times blowing out all the tires and cracking a rib. I had that sucker for along time it was a blast!


A little snow, Please!
#41302 12/22/06 09:52 AM
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I’m not sure that I will admit to my stupidest stunt, but I will say it ended with a classic saying amongst my friends which is almost worthy of a Jeff Foxworthy skit. Anyway the conversation went something like this.

Driver – Stop I think that is a cop behind us.

Backseat passenger – That’s not a cop.

Needless to say the blue lights turned on about then.

#41303 03/10/07 04:54 PM
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this isnt the stupidest thing i have done but i got our tractor stuck on the side of a hill. gotta wait till it dries to get it off so it wont slide. i was moving trees i had cut around my pond site then it went from a drizzle to a downpour i thought o i can clear some of this ground cover near my dam so i can seed it this spring. well the ground is frozen it is raining and the icey ground was covered in mud.


0.22 acre dam pond LMB, BG, and CC
#41304 03/12/07 10:15 PM
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For the last 23 years of my life (or since I turned 10) I have been involved in building and driving demolition derby cars. However this is not on my stupid stunt list but a story invloving a derby car is. One day after bringing home a 75 Bonneville I parked my truck and car trailer in front of the shed and unhooked my load chains. The car didn't run but the brakes did work. Usually when I got a car like this I would open the drivers door and push against the door post and roll the car backwards off the trailer hopping in the drivers seat just as the back wheels clear the peak between the trailer and the ramps and apply the brakes for a nice slow coast off the trailer. On this particular car I was able to get the peak between the trailer and the ramps but then it would just stop and no matter how hard I pushed it wouldn't budge. I then got the bright idea to lurch the truck and trailer forward a litte bit to get the car over the peak then run back and hop in the car as it rolled off the ramps to apply brakes. :rolleyes: I put the truck in drive and gave the gas a tap. The derby car cleared the peak and started down the ramp. I hopped out of the truck and started to run back to the car. I got as far as the trailer hitch till I realized the truck was still in gear. I did a 180 turn and ran back to the open truck door. I got in and hit the brake just after the truck hit the shed door. I turned around to see my car heading backwards down the driveway (slight down slope)only to be stopped after hitting one of the Bradford Pears that line the driveway. The result of my idea was a smashed shed door, dented truck hood, gouge mark on the tree, and least of all a slightly bent bumper on the derby car. After this I bought a Allis D-19 with a front loader so now all cars are unloaded in a contolled manner.


Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
#41305 03/16/07 01:53 PM
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I've got a "dumb" story to share that just happened this morning. It's not necessarily a stunt, but pretty stupid so I thought I'd post it.

Well I finally picked up some fingerlings to restock my pond after my first fish kill about seven months ago. There were four boxes total with each box containing a plastic bag with plenty fingerlings. The instructions that were given to me to introduce them into the pond were to remove the bag from the box and place it in a shady area of the pond so that the water temperature in the bag could equalize with the pond water temperature. If I didn't have a shady area simply turn the box over and cover the bag of fingerlings to provide shade; so that's what I did. After about 15 minutes of trying to stay busy until I released the fingerlings, I caught a glimps of a white box floating across the pond. I don't have much shade near the pond so I walked over to the remaining boxes to see if I could fit two bags of fingerlings under one box. That's when I noticed that the entire bag of BG fingerlings that was covered by the floating box was gone. I was disgusted with my self for placing the bag in an area where it could roll out of reach into the pond. I quickly scanned the pond edge and realized that the bag rolled deeper into the pond than I could see. So I ran to the truck to grab a rake in an attempt to "hook" the bag and pull it back up. Well, this didn't work as I didn't feel anything. The only thing running through my mind was that all of these fingerlings are going to die in that plastic bag if I can't find it. I ripped my shoes and socks off and started wading in fairly cold water with a rake to find the bag. At this point I was almost at the panic stage. It was only after I was thigh deep in cold water and mud that I remebered.......There was air in the bag! By then the box floated across the pond to the other side. I climbed out of the slop and made my way over to the box. When I lifted it up, what do you know....a bag full of fingerlings! I felt totally stupid, but since no friends were there to make fun of me, I thought I would post it here. HOW DUMB!!! \:\(


Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield.
#41306 03/16/07 02:23 PM
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I almost did the same thing when I stocked my scuds a couple weeks ago. They came in a sealed bag but I opened the bag so that I could introduce some pond water a little at a time. I would let the bag float in the water by my aerator for several minutes and then open the bag and introduce a little pond water. I tied the bag back shut with the rubber band and put it back in the water to float again. Well I didn't tie the bag shut tight enough. While I was killing time the air was leaking out of the top of the bag and the bag was slowly sinking. When I looked over toward the bag it was gone. I ran over to find out what was happening. The bag had lost almost all air and was just about to be swept under the ice by the aerator current. I grabbed it just in time. I could just see after having bought these shrimp, hauled them four hours, and worked to get them into the pond only to have them sink and wash down under 18 inches of ice. I would have been sick.


Gotta get back to fishin!
#41307 03/16/07 03:22 PM
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When I first started my pond, I was building levees with my little 29hp tractor. I wasn't happy with the appearance of the levee. It looked square, with steep sides. I wanted it gently rounded, with a flat top. I got on top of the 24" high levee, and ran my disk harrow down the square edge to round it off. Well, the dirt was very dry and powdery, and when I rode too close to the edge, it gave way. The tractor bucked violently, and threw me right off. I rolled away from the tractor lightning fast, because I got visions of it disking me into 8 equal length pieces. I ran it down and got back on, because I've always heard that's what you were supposed to do. Well, it wasn't 15 minutes until I got bucked off again! This time it bruised and skint my shoulder pretty badly. I went straight back to the tractor shed and re-activated my seat switch, and buckled my seat belt. Naturally, I worked for hours and the levee never collapsed again. That was 4 years ago. I was young and stupid then. \:D

"If you're a horse, and someone gets on you and falls off, and then gets right back on you, I think you should buck him off right away."

#41308 03/16/07 03:31 PM
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I think you only have to stay on for 8 seconds, until the buzzer goes off, Bobad.


"Live like you'll die tomorrow, but manage your grass like you'll live forever."
-S. M. Stirling
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#41309 03/16/07 09:53 PM
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A saturday, west of Tuscon, Az. 1986
Bourbon was the drink of the day. As the day progressed we went up a mountain in a pickup and looked at an old mine. Another guy rode a 3-wheeler up. I was asked if I would like to ride the 3-wheeler back down. Having had a dirt bike I was on it.
3-wheeler's are nothing like a dirt bike, except that, they gain speed real well going down mountains.
I did not make the 1st corner I came to.
My left hand punched a barrel cactus, a 6 ft sauaro, and a choya before the machine and I parted ways. I may not have let go fast enough as my collar bone got broke in two. Then I landed in prickly pear cactus. Pulled out the big thorns that went through the hand right away.
The left hand looked like an old lady's pin cushion. Those little choya thorns were everywhere. Realizing we couldn't get the ones under the fingernails I went to a hospital. And while pulling thorns and drinking more bourbon had seemed like a good idea, it probably wasn't. Because they make you wait an hour or so at the hospital when you smell of alcohol.
I've given up drinking for some reason....


Make it look easy,
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#41310 03/16/07 10:02 PM
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I was wading Lonergan Creek in the sandhills of Nebraska with my two girls about eight years ago. In the clear water I could see some small fish swimming about, and the kids giggled with happiness as the little darters would zip past their toes. It was just about as perfect a day as you could ever dream up.

I noticed that under some small undercut banks that there were big orange tails sticking out. I knew from experience that there were big carp hiding from us as we walked by.

I pretended that I was going to pick up a stone and throw it at the girls, but in reality I was noodling one of the carp. I carefully slid my hands up the side of the fish and when I found his gills I skillfully latched on.

I yelled at the girls to give me their attention as if I was going to throw a little pebble at them.

I hoisted the eight pound carp out of the water hoping to surprise the girls, but as I lifted the fish up I split one of the gill rakers and the fish whipped about violently, completely spraying the girls with thousands of drops of blood!

Both girls screamed in horror to Mom, covered in fish blood!

I've never been completely forgiven.


Holding a redear sunfish is like running with scissors.
#41311 03/17/07 08:53 AM
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HAHAHAHAHA. Now that's a good one! Its amazing how fast a small prank can turn into a disaster.


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I thought I'd revive this thread because it's one of my all time favorites.

Anybody got any new stories to add? \:\)


Holding a redear sunfish is like running with scissors.
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http://www.pondboss.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Main=9385&Number=98423#Post98423



It is not all bad though, we are using the insurance money to build a barn on our property.

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I have read through this whole thread and laughed out loud many times. Will try to think of one and post it.

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Fungus infection on fish
by BillyE - 03/28/24 04:35 PM
Yellow Perch Spawn 2024
by H20fwler - 03/28/24 04:29 PM
Alum vs Bentonite/Lathanum for Phosphorus Removal?
by FishinRod - 03/28/24 04:23 PM
Working on a .5acre disaster, I mean pond.
by PRCS - 03/28/24 04:13 PM
New 2 acre pond stocking plan
by LANGSTER - 03/28/24 03:49 PM
Happy Birthday Bob Lusk!!
by ewest - 03/28/24 03:37 PM
1 year after stocking question
by Dave Davidson1 - 03/28/24 02:44 PM
Paper-shell crayfish and Japanese snails
by esshup - 03/28/24 10:39 AM
Brooder Shiners and Fry, What to do??
by Freg - 03/28/24 09:42 AM
Relative weight charts in Excel ? Calculations?
by esshup - 03/28/24 08:36 AM
Dewatering bags seeded to form berms?
by Justin W - 03/28/24 08:19 AM
Reducing fish biomass
by FishinRod - 03/28/24 08:18 AM
Newly Uploaded Images
Eagles Over The Pond Yesterday
Eagles Over The Pond Yesterday
by Tbar, December 10
Deer at Theo's 2023
Deer at Theo's 2023
by Theo Gallus, November 13
Minnow identification
Minnow identification
by Mike Troyer, October 6
Sharing the Food
Sharing the Food
by FishinRod, September 9
Nice BGxRES
Nice BGxRES
by Theo Gallus, July 28
Snake Identification
Snake Identification
by Rangersedge, July 12

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