Pond Boss Forums GENERAL QUESTIONS Help My stupidest stunt

Decided to see if I could make a "Macgyver" bomb out of a two liter bottle and toilet bowl cleaner that I had been hearing about on the news. Didn't have enough toilet cleaner so I figured muratic acid would work just the same. Imagine lighting an M1000 with a 1/4" fuse and that pretty much sums up the outcome, luckily there were no injuries.

It really is necessary to use the primer when cementing PVC together. Especially on potato guns.

Used a homemade electric "worm wand" while standing in a puddle to get better conductivity.

Ryan:

Of the three types of men - those who can avoid problems by careful analysis and consideration beforehand, those who can learn from the mistakes of others, and those who have to pee on the electric fence themselves - you have given me cause to suspect you are firmly entrenched in the third group.

Theocity wrote: "you have given me cause to suspect you are firmly entrenched in the third group."

Perhaps this is reinforced by the fact that he resides in Ohio??

I'm in the fourth group.

Those who pee on the fence, then forget about it and do it a second time, then have to pee on it one more time to see if the pain was just coincidental.

...and by the way, Macgyver would have made a great aquaculturist.

Let me set the stage:

Kansas-raised, 225 pounds(50 pounds ago) & 6'1", the only diving experience was in a pool at the Y. On a paddleboat in the Bahamas with my wife(who was trying to read a book of all things), sliding off the boat into what I thought was 4-5 foot of water to begin my snorkeling experience. As I drifted down into what was really about 10' of water, I watched as my fin touched the beautiful white sands of the cove.

Then all hell broke loose! A 6' or maybe a 16' stingray came out of the sand where my fin had touched. As my wife tells the story..... I came out of the water like a missle and landed standing on the boat without the use of my hands. Needless to say, my wife still laughs about her Big, Brave Husband to everyone we meet. My story is that I was testing the "true propulsion" capabilities of rubber rental fins.

BarO

Shawn, to attempt to derail a train, you can put some debris on the track. Heck, it worked in the movies. To make sure the train driver doesn't see it and slow down, you select a spot just around the bend. To get a good ringside seat, you hide in the weeds in a straight line just the other side of the debris. I would not recommend the use of a spare tire as part of the debris. Those things,when hit by a train, can only be described as propelled. Airborne crossties will help you understand the value of distance from the source of flying missles. Once was plenty.

A .22 cartridge placed on the rail won't derail a train either. But it makes a loud noise! Several placed in a row sound like machine gun fire!

Someone once told me "A wise man learns from knowledge while a fool learns from experience."

Here's a some more

Gasoline is not a safe alternative to diesel fuel for burning groundhogs out of their hole.

7.62x39 shells will easily penetrate a groundhog and then the side of a barn and then the sidewall of a tire. At close range 7.62x39 shells will also shoot completely through a racoon and the barn wall at least three times in a row. It is also a good idea to warn your girlfriend who is beating on a box with a 2x4 to scare a racoon out that a 7.62x39 shell makes a lot of noise so she remembers to open the barn door before trying to run through it looking the other direction.


Sometimes you just have to pee on the fence a second time to be absolutely sure.

I guess we all learn our physics leasons from somewhere. Nothing like a practical demonstration of how things work to really make the lesson stick.

When I was about 4, we played hide and seek in our basement. We had an old style refridgerator in the basement and it was a favorite place for kids to hide. Little did I know, the other kids told someone they were hiding there, so when everyone was running to "base" another kid would come by and open the door. I climbed in, shut the door, and found out that old style fridges are soundproof! Only after a few minutes did my older sister go looking for me and finally opened the door.

Ryan,

something tells me there is always something exciting going on around your place.

funny.

gator

I've probably posted on this subject too many times aready. This definitely tops my list of dumb things but was also one of the most memorable. I been avoiding posting this story because it's so long but here it goes:

It was one of the first warm Spring days of April or May of 1995. Two of my friends, Bob and Mike, and myself had been planning on canoeing the scenic Darby Creek located in central Ohio for an entire week. We had a lot of rain that week but hadn't made the connection that the water would be too high until we arrived on the bank toting the canoe. We didn't bring any lifejackets and the canoe tags were two years past legal. The river was more than 12' above normal level which usually requires the occational portage. My friend Bob said "at least we won't have to walk" and off we went. We briskly travelled down the river. There wasn't much time to enjoy the scenery but we were having fun. We came upon a split in the river where I asked my Bob who lived nearby which way to go, he said "uhhhhh, left?" so we did. At the last moment I saw a log crossing the river ahead and yelled "log..go right" and we promptly put the canoe into a spin and lodged the canoe in a brushpile. A large, 6', black snake fell out of the brush and into the canoe. Mike was very scared of snakes and began dancing around the canoe nearly falling out into the fridged water and tipping everone else in as well. The snake must have been just as scared because it quickly slithered out and into the water. Mike regained his composure, we freed ourselved and continued. After a few minutes of Bob and I entertaining ourselves by throwing a piece of rope at Mike and yelling "snake!" and generally poking fun we came upon an area of boulders. The boulders created a series of rapids probably about a class 1 but they might as well have been class 6 considering our canoe experience. We made it about halfway through when our aluminum canoe turned sideways and struck one of the rocks and we all counterbalanced at the same time dumping us into the river. Mike and Bob held onto the canoe while I tried to catch up. They were kicking, trying to get themselved and the canoe to land but the river was too strong. They became tired and started to cramp from the fridgid water. I eventually caught up to them and began kicking and pushing to get them to shore while they just hung on. I was ready to give up and relaxed my legs. Upon relaxing my legs I hit bottom. The water was only about 3' deep! We finished our trip about an hour or so later at a canoe livery. The owner walked out and said "we're closed today" and then realized we were taking out. He said "ya'll must be crazy canoeing this river." He was right. We loaded up the canoe into Mike's truck that we had dropped off early that morning. Mike reached into his pocket and then looked at Bob and I and asked "Did you guys pick up my keys?". He had left them in Bob's truck where we put in. A perfect ending to a perfect day of canoeing.

An electric fence will not shock you if it strikes you in the throat while riding a dirtbike. It is however, strong enough to pull you off your dirtbike and your little brother off of his while he is looking over wondering why you just flew off your dirtbike.

Reminds me of a similar story. One friend and I set off on a 3 day trip down the Snake river here in MN. It was also spring and the river was very high. We had only seen the river during low water before. At the landing the river looked fine so off we went. There was a couple in an aluminum canoe who started out behind us from the same landing. After about a mile we hit an area known as Hell's gate. Always wondered why they called it that. The river narrows down and shoots through a solid rock crevice that is only 30 feet wide in some places, usually only 3 feet deep. Well, our first glimpse of hell's gate was from the top of the first rapids which was so steep you couldn't even see the rest of the river below. Too late, couldn't turn back. We shot that rapids and were promptly swamped. We learned later that the water through this section was 10 to 20 feet deep with a class 5 rating. No way out of the river once you enter the gate since the sides are straight cliffs. We say lots of canoe parts and broken paddles stuck in the rocks. We spent the rest of the day shooting rapids after rapids, getting swamped, dragging the canoe onto a rock to empty it, and trying again. I think we swamped at least 10 times and lost all our camping gear. We made 2 miles of our planned 20 mile trip. We got out of that river as soon as we could and thumbed a ride back to the car. And the couple that started after us? We found them floating down the rapids hanging on to what was left of a canoe. We paddled out and rescued them near the exit landing. Went back later that summer when the water level was lower and found our food pack and other debris in the rocks.

That's awesome. I keep reading these amazing stories and the first thing I want to do is compliment the writer by saying something like "Man, that was really stupid"! But then I think about it and think "that doesn't sound like a compliment".

Let's just put it this way. "Those are some very entertaining and stupid stunts".

Did I ever tell you guys about the time Rancid Crabtree and I...No? Well, RC and I... Uh, wait a minute.....One of you guys might be a member of the Constabulary.

Dave -- "Man , you are the Guvner you can do and say what you want without consequence"

Richard Nixon

This isn't as stupid as it is dumb luck but I promised Bruce I'd tell him my pheasant story and this looks like a fine place to put it. Went hunting with a couple buddies. Parked on a gravel road so we could hunt a small slough. It was in the morning just after light and it was very foggy. As we stood by the car uncasing the guns the dog went down into the road ditch and began flushing birds. One bird took off from the slough and cut back over toward the road. Even though we could barely see the bird through the fog I could tell it was a rooster because it was cackling. No one had their guns loaded but the bird was flying on a path perpendicular to the road maybe 40 yards behind the car. This looked like a good opportunity to make a comment I'm sure you've heard before. As I raised my gun to my shoulder I said "Just wait til that bird sees who's behind this gun." Just as the bird crossed the ditch and was about to cross the road I simply said "bang". At that very moment the bird tumbled head over heals and dropped dead right in the middle of the road. I kept my cool and just lowered my gun and blew the imaginary smoke off the end of the barrel. You should have seen us all standing there in amazement. As we walked over to retrieve the bird I noticed the power line which we could not see in the fog was still vibrating. I swear this really happend and I bet it won't happen again in 10 life times.

Reminds me of a story where this rich 90 year old man went into the doctors for a check up and was bragging to the the doctor how he had got his 25 year old new bride pregnate, and the doctor laugh, and the fellow saids whats the matter? And the doctor said it reminded him of a time when he went out hunting and once he drove to where he was going he realized that he had forgotten his rifle, but instead of going back he went on out to see what he could see and sure enough he happened upon this beaver, doctors says well I didnt have my gun so I just raised my finger up and said bang and you know that dang beaver fell over dead! The old guy says oh Doc you cant fool me, Somebody else shot that beaver! And the doctors says" My Point Exactly!

Dumbest thing I can remember is after I had installed a pier section in the middle of the pond to attach a floating cage. The reason I had only one out there, and not the typical pier connected to the shore, was the pier sections were given to me and it's easiest to install them on the ice.

Anyway, to make a long story short I would get out there to feed the fish by boat. In this one instance I was fishing off the pier in late evening, and tied the boat to the pier and started fishing. At some point I realized the boat wasn't tied to the pier anymore (I was in the Air Force not the Navy) and I was stranded out there unless I wanted to take a swim to shore. I figured the wife would wonder why I hadn't come back in so I just kept fishing. Once the mosquitos started feasting on me, I decided it was time to get the wife's attention. I could see her through the front windows of our log home sitting at the computer. But no matter how much I flailed my arms I couldn't get her attention. And of course once it got dark that was futile anyway. Finally at some point after dark she came out with the dog for a walk and called for me. I asked her what took her so long and her reply was, " You're always out here longer than you say you are going to be, so I figured you were fine."

What's really dumb is I did this a second time. This time the wife wasn't home, but I did get my neighbor lady's attention by yelling to her as she checked her mailbox. She gave my boat a shove from shore as hard as she could (she's tiny), and it came right toward me, but about 5 feet before reaching me it stopped and blew back. I finally said the heck with it and took a swim to shore!

Dumbest thing I've ever done on my life is asking a guy with long blonde hair if he wanted to sit with the males friends I was with. I was voted to go up to the bar and ask some cute girls to come site with us. This was back when I was in college. I was so plastered he looked like a girl to me! When he said, "No I don't think so" I remember thinking, "oooh deep voice I'll bet she's a hot one. When I got back to my table my friends informed me I had just asked a guy to sit with us, and was I gay or something? When I looked back at him he didn't look like a girl anymore! I was so embarassed! I never went back to that bar again although they had some awesome bands.

hmmm...strangely enough, two episodes that stand out in my mind both involve fire. :rolleyes: When I was 19 I was taking my old dog Jake (I'd had him since he was a pup and I was 6) to the vet to be put down because I couldn't bear to do it. He was in the seat next to me just lyin there and for some reason I though he looked uncomfortable. I pulled my car off to the side of the road (no shoulder) to adjust him. This was East Texas in summer. I looked up to see smoke billowing from all directions. I slammed the car in gear and drove back onto the road where I looked back to see that my exhaust system had caught the ditch and the adjoining pasture on fire. Wind was blowin good too. 40 acres later it was out. Luckily the owner had been planning to do a burn soon anyway.

Second instance happened in the spring of '98. Nebraska had suffered a huge snowstorm the previous October and we had trees down all over the place. As assistant chief of the local volunteer FD I was helping get rid of brush for the village. We had a huge brush pile that we were going to burn. It was wet due to earlier rains, but we were convinced we could burn it. We started by using diesel as an accelerant. Didn't work so well. So we changed to gasoline. After dowsing a portion of the pile with gas I lit a road flare and tossed it onto the pile thinking the vapors would have disapated more than what they had. Huge mushroom cloud. Huge BOOM. I was thrown back into my chief. No injuries tho. I got home and my wife told me she thought something had hit the house but she couldn't find anything. I didn't bother to tell her it was probably the shockwave from my little incident.

The fire stories remind me, while far from the stupidest thing I've ever done, I almost burned down my grandfather's barn, sneaking a smoke when I was 12.
Some hay caught fire from my match and my grandfather found the smolder just in time. Boy, he kicked my butt on that one.

His house, in Laona, NY, is well known on Rt. 60. Everyone around there knows what house it is, 3 1/2 stores tall and built in 1825.

But it's the Barn that has been put on the National Registry of Historic buildings, not the house.

I would have been in BIG trouble!

I can't believe that is the best that Cecil can come up with!

But speaking of losing your boat, I used to live in Savannah, GA and spent a lot of time on the Big Pond and the intercoastal waterway. My parents came in to visit from Arizona so I figured I would take them beach combing on one of the barrier islands. I was smart enough to time the tides so we didn't get grounded, but I wasn't smart enough to tie a decent knot on the anchor line with that heavy nylon, never-likes-to-knot line. We come back and my boat is now about 150 yards from shore and going out to sea (outgoing tide). Without thinking I run out, and start swimming towards the boat. About halfway out I realize I am no longer the competitive swimmer I was nearly 10 years ago and that distance was never my strong suit. I finally caught up with the boat about 300 yards from shore in the middle of the 80 ft. deep shipping channel. I then learned to tie much better knots.

BZ: That reminds me of a true event that happened to me. During bow deer season many years ago, I was traveling a road and had a deer run across the road in front of me. It hit the barb wire fence, but seemed to continue on fine. I parked the vehicle (brother's land) to see if it had stopped and if I could sneak up on it and get a shot with the bow. To my surprise, it was there in the woods a little ways; but wasn't acting right. I hurried a shot and missed; but it still went down. I went over there and it was dead. Not a mark on it except its tail was gone (found where it hit the fence). Not sure what happened to it; but had some people convinced that I had killed it by shooting off its tail for a while! ;-)

i'll bet a nickel mr. lusk has never done anything so stupid as to qualify for this thread