Pond Boss Forums STOCKING A NEW POND Types of fish to choose Theatre of the absurd...

Typical redneck.

Jose and hose B

Nope, not fake we actually got that at work a couple years back and laughed quite hard. Heck, VA doesn't even allow you to smile in your DMV photos anymore. I guess Mississippi is a bit lax on their DMV photo policies...

Our local DMV office let's you look at your pic and take another if you want.....the other local office is downright hateful.----guess which one is state run and which is a private contractor!!!

That's one of those questions that you end up answering yourself as it leaves your mouth.

A man works in Texas, collecting the tickets from people when they get on the bus.

He rings the bell for the driver to set off when there's a woman not quite on the bus. The driver sets off, the woman falls from the bus and is killed. At the trial the man is sent down for murder and seeing as its Texas he's sent to the electric chair.

On the day of his execution he's sat in the chair and the executioner grants him a final wish.

"Well", says the man, "is that your packed lunch over there?"

"Yes", answers the executioner.

"Can I have that green banana?"

The executioner gives the man his green banana and waits till he's eaten it.

When the man's finished, the executioner flips the switch sending hundreds of thousands of volts through the man. When the smoke clears the man is still alive. The executioner can't believe it.

"Can I go then?", the man asks.

"I suppose so", says the executioner, "that's never happened before".

The man leaves and eventually gets a job with another bus company selling tickets. Again he rings the bell for the driver to go when people are still getting on. A man falls under the wheels and is killed. The guy is sent down for murder again and sent to the electric chair.

The executioner is determined to do it right this time so rigs the chair up to the electric supply for the whole of Texas.

The man is again sat in the chair. "What is your final wish?" asks the executioner.

"Can I have that green banana in your packed lunch?" says the condemned man.

The executioner sighs and reluctantly gives up his banana. The man eats the banana all up and the executioner flips the switch.

Millions of volts course through the chair blacking out Texas. When the smoke clears the man is still sat there smiling in the chair.

The executioner can't believe it and lets the man go.

Well, would you believe it, the guy gets his job back on the buses. Once again he rings the bell whilst passengers are still getting on, this time killing three of them. He is sent to the electric chair yet again.

The executioner rigs up all southwest power grid supply to the chair, determined to get his man this time. The man sits down in the chair smiling.

"What's your final wish?", asks the executioner.

"Well", says the man, "Can I have that green banana out of your packed lunch?"

The executioner hands over his banana and the man eats it all, skin included. The executioner pulls the handle and a bazillion volts go through the chair. When the smoke rises the man is still sat there alive without even a burn mark.

"I give up", says the executioner, "I don't understand how you can still be alive after all that?". He stroked his chin. "It's something to do with that green banana isn't it", he asked.





















"Nahh" said the guy, "I'm just a really bad conductor"

UGH !!
watt the heck...gimme a breaker...you burn me up

Toast. Fry Daddy, fry. I just now read the 'bottom line'.
Absurd!.....you wasted about 20 minutes of my time.

2 minutes to read the joke and 18 minutes pondering if Theo's sig pic is the ticket collector or the executioner

Entertainment must be really hard to come by in Ahia.

I hope your fingers hurt from that nonsense...It's like a Michael Crichton novel all set up and no bang. Well what's another two minutes of my life considering the two hours of garbage(Grey's anatomy) that the wife watched in my vicinity.

Thank God for my laptop and the PB Forum...

I am not even going to respond, Cept' that was good! Theo!

While reading this thread, and contemplating it's very rich, in depth, conscionable, but yet provocative implications, I ran out of Cheetos!

See ya, I am off to the store!

CAT-FISH

Why did the Triploid Amur cross the road?

Note the 7 foot tall police officer holding the "5 foot long" Grass Carp.

I wonder if the fisherman was driving a turnip truck.

They just had this on our local news, with an interview of the officer.

I think he was measuring this in Doughnuts, like the circumference of his belly. Other than that, he would have to be on the VERY plus side of 7 feet tall! And I know, doughnuts kinda stop at the middle, and lack of, kinda makes one delirious.

Wow!! Looks like fun but is obviously a real problem.

It is a real problem