Pond Boss Magazine
https://www.pondboss.com/images/userfiles/image/20130301193901_6_150by50orangewhyshouldsubscribejpeg.jpg
Advertisment
Newest Members
Shotgun01, Dan H, Stipker, LunkerHunt23, Jeanjules
18,451 Registered Users
Forum Statistics
Forums36
Topics40,902
Posts557,119
Members18,452
Most Online3,612
Jan 10th, 2023
Top Posters
esshup 28,420
ewest 21,475
Cecil Baird1 20,043
Bill Cody 15,112
Who's Online Now
5 members (Fishingadventure, RogersTailgate, jpsdad, anthropic, Brev), 714 guests, and 197 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 14 of 28 1 2 12 13 14 15 16 27 28
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 50
S
Offline
S
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 50
Originally Posted By: ozarkstriperscom
kittens actually make pretty good musky bait when you can find them cruzing the shallows. Thats uh what i heard anyway......
frown

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 28,420
Likes: 794
Moderator
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Lunker
Offline
Moderator
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Lunker
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 28,420
Likes: 794
Originally Posted By: ozarkstriperscom
kittens actually make pretty good musky bait when you can find them cruzing the shallows. Thats uh what i heard anyway......


That's one bait that gives a LOT of action once it hits the water. wink


www.hoosierpondpros.com


http://www.pondboss.com/subscribe.asp?c=4
3/4 to 1 1/4 ac pond LMB, SMB, PS, BG, RES, CC, YP, Bardello BG, (RBT & Blue Tilapia - seasonal).
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,135
A
Ambassador
Lunker
Offline
Ambassador
Lunker
A
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,135



Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
J
JKB Offline
Hall of Fame 2015
Lunker
Offline
Hall of Fame 2015
Lunker
J
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
The following is an actual exchange of correspondence between a customer and the Irish Railway Company - Larnrod Eireann.

Gentlemen,
I have been riding your trains daily for the last two years, and the service on your line seems to be getting worse every day. I am tired of standing in
the aisle all the time on a 14-mile trip. I think the transportation system is worse than that enjoyed by people 2,000 years ago.
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan

--------------------------------
Dear Mr. Finnegan,
We received your letter with reference to the shortcomings of our service and believe you are somewhat confused in your history. The only mode of
transportation 2,000 years ago was by foot.
Sincerely,
Larnrod Eireann.

-----------------------------------

Gentlemen,
I am in receipt of your letter, and I think you are the ones who are confused in your history. If you will refer to the Bible and the Book of
Numbers, 22nd Chapter, you will find that Balaam rode to town on his ass.

That.... gentlemen, is something I have not been able to do on your train in the last two years!
Yours truly,
Patrick Finnegan.

Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
J
JKB Offline
Hall of Fame 2015
Lunker
Offline
Hall of Fame 2015
Lunker
J
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
98 and no enemies

All golfers should live so long as to be this kind of old man!

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question and All responded this time, except one man, an avid golfer named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the weather was bad.

"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for golf. It's good to see you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned around, faced the congregation, and simply said,



"I outlived all the sons of bitches."

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 10,458
Likes: 2
C
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Hall of Fame
Lunker
Offline
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Hall of Fame
Lunker
C
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 10,458
Likes: 2
So after turkey hunting this morning, I stopped into the sporting goods store by my dad's house and saw the sign, "More crabs, less effort".

Thankfully it was referring to a crab trap and not the red light district.

Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,689
Likes: 281
Moderator
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Hall of Fame 2014
Lunker
Offline
Moderator
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Hall of Fame 2014
Lunker
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,689
Likes: 281
My old band used to play in a bar that had a sign over the men's urinal....."We aim to please. You aim, too, please."


Excerpt from Robert Crais' "The Monkey's Raincoat:"
"She took another microscopic bite of her sandwich, then pushed it away. Maybe she absorbed nutrients from her surroundings."

Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 4,791
Likes: 14
O
Moderator
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Lunker
Offline
Moderator
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Lunker
O
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 4,791
Likes: 14


Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
J
JKB Offline
Hall of Fame 2015
Lunker
Offline
Hall of Fame 2015
Lunker
J
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692


Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 28,420
Likes: 794
Moderator
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Lunker
Offline
Moderator
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Lunker
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 28,420
Likes: 794
Here, let me help you with your coat. laugh


www.hoosierpondpros.com


http://www.pondboss.com/subscribe.asp?c=4
3/4 to 1 1/4 ac pond LMB, SMB, PS, BG, RES, CC, YP, Bardello BG, (RBT & Blue Tilapia - seasonal).
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 10,458
Likes: 2
C
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Hall of Fame
Lunker
Offline
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Hall of Fame
Lunker
C
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 10,458
Likes: 2
I think rabbits have to be some of the easy game animals to skin... Especially when they are still warm.

Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 529
S
Fingerling
Offline
Fingerling
S
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 529
Originally Posted By: Sunil
My old band used to play in a bar that had a sign over the men's urinal....."We aim to please. You aim, too, please."


I saw one that said, "in case of nuclear attack, stand in the urinal, no one has hit it yet."

Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 705
R
Lunker
Offline
Lunker
R
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 705
Heard this one at work:
Could you imagine having 3 wifes, living in a compound and not leaving for 5 years...



I think Bin Laden called the Navy SEALs himself.

Last edited by RobA; 06/12/11 07:17 PM.
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 529
S
Fingerling
Offline
Fingerling
S
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 529
Originally Posted By: RobA
Heard this one at work:
Could you imagine having 3 wifes, living in a compound and not leaving for 5 years...



I think Bin Laden called the Navy SEALs himself.


Funny!

I am guessing a hash pipe was in the house.

Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,135
A
Ambassador
Lunker
Offline
Ambassador
Lunker
A
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 3,135



Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
J
JKB Offline
Hall of Fame 2015
Lunker
Offline
Hall of Fame 2015
Lunker
J
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
THE BUTTOCKS

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was severely burned.
The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny.
So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin.
However, the only skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

After all, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was completed, everone was astounded at the man's new face.

He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!!

He said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. How can I possibly repay you?"

My darling," she replied, I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek!!!"

Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 8,854
Likes: 1
Moderator
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Lunker
OP Offline
Moderator
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Lunker
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 8,854
Likes: 1
Makes Jack a dull boy.


Holding a redear sunfish is like running with scissors.
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,261
D
Ambassador
Lunker
Offline
Ambassador
Lunker
D
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,261
A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said,

"Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible."

"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."

The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook?
What happened to your hand?"

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really."

"What about that eye patch?"

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them pooped in my eye."

"You're kidding," said the bartender.
"You couldn't lose an eye just from bird poop."


"It was my first day with the hook."


Last edited by dave in el dorado ca; 09/08/11 05:16 PM.

GSF are people too!

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 10,458
Likes: 2
C
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Hall of Fame
Lunker
Offline
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Hall of Fame
Lunker
C
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 10,458
Likes: 2
Well, with all the rain we got last week we had a number of bridges wash out around where I work. They have been working on repairing them but while they're doing that they try to make it as clear as possible that the road is closed...

Last night at work, I found out the road was closed for another reason...


Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,979
Likes: 14
S
Ambassador
Lunker
Offline
Ambassador
Lunker
S
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,979
Likes: 14
That would cause me to turn around!


"Forget pounds and ounces, I'm figuring displacement!"

If we accept that: MBG(+)FGSF(=)HBG(F1)
And we surmise that: BG(>)HBG(F1) while GSF(<)HBG(F1)
Would it hold true that: HBG(F1)(+)AM500(x)q.d.(=)1.5lbGRWT?
PB answer: It depends.
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 8,854
Likes: 1
Moderator
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Lunker
OP Offline
Moderator
Ambassador
Field Correspondent
Lunker
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 8,854
Likes: 1
Hilarious...and probably true.


Holding a redear sunfish is like running with scissors.
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
J
JKB Offline
Hall of Fame 2015
Lunker
Offline
Hall of Fame 2015
Lunker
J
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
Da End Iss Near
Ole is the pastor of the local Norwegian Lutheran Church and Pastor Sven is the minister of the Swedish Covenant Church across the road.
One day they are seen pounding a sign into the ground, which said:

DA END ISS NEAR!
TURN YERSELF AROUNT NOW
BAFOR IT ISS TOO LATE!

As a car speeds past them, the driver leans out his window and yells, "Leave people alone, you Skandihoovian religious nuts!"

From the curve they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

Shakin' his head, Rev. Ole says "Dat's da terd one dis mornin'."
"Yaa," Pastor Sven agrees, then asks, "Do ya tink maybe da sign should yust say, 'Bridge Out?'"

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,261
D
Ambassador
Lunker
Offline
Ambassador
Lunker
D
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,261
evolution



GSF are people too!

Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
J
JKB Offline
Hall of Fame 2015
Lunker
Offline
Hall of Fame 2015
Lunker
J
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692


Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
J
JKB Offline
Hall of Fame 2015
Lunker
Offline
Hall of Fame 2015
Lunker
J
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 6,692
This one made me think of B'ski.



Page 14 of 28 1 2 12 13 14 15 16 27 28

Link Copied to Clipboard
Today's Birthdays
cro, HC1968
Recent Posts
Dewatering bags seeded to form berms?
by RogersTailgate - 03/29/24 05:45 AM
Relative weight charts in Excel ? Calculations?
by jpsdad - 03/29/24 05:43 AM
pond experience needed
by esshup - 03/29/24 12:45 AM
New pond middle TN: establishing food chain?
by Bill Cody - 03/28/24 07:57 PM
Happy Birthday Bob Lusk!!
by FireIsHot - 03/28/24 07:33 PM
Working on a .5acre disaster, I mean pond.
by PRCS - 03/28/24 06:39 PM
Fungus infection on fish
by nvcdl - 03/28/24 06:07 PM
Can anyone ID these minnows?
by Dylanfrely - 03/28/24 05:43 PM
1 year after stocking question
by esshup - 03/28/24 04:48 PM
Yellow Perch Spawn 2024
by H20fwler - 03/28/24 04:29 PM
New 2 acre pond stocking plan
by LANGSTER - 03/28/24 03:49 PM
Newly Uploaded Images
Eagles Over The Pond Yesterday
Eagles Over The Pond Yesterday
by Tbar, December 10
Deer at Theo's 2023
Deer at Theo's 2023
by Theo Gallus, November 13
Minnow identification
Minnow identification
by Mike Troyer, October 6
Sharing the Food
Sharing the Food
by FishinRod, September 9
Nice BGxRES
Nice BGxRES
by Theo Gallus, July 28
Snake Identification
Snake Identification
by Rangersedge, July 12

� 2014 POND BOSS INC. all rights reserved USA and Worldwide

Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5