Pond Boss Forums GENERAL QUESTIONS Pond Boss How JHAP Got Kicked Out Of the Boy Scouts

Now's the time, here's the place. If you won't tell, we'll speculate and come up with something worse than the truth.

Can we guess?? Girl Scouts

Girl Scouts is a good guess but they didn't play a role in this particular story David. I'm thinking the speculation will be much better than the truth (which after a big build up is likely to be disappointing).

I promise to tell the story in the next day or two. In the mean time go ahead "hit me with your best shot, fire awayyyyyy."

Let's hear some speculation.

it either had something to do w/ this:



or this type of behavoir:

Did he stock all the boy scout camp ponds with GSF?

Did he try to forcefully touch someones Heiney?

Undoubtedly, something went horribly wrong with some 'smores.

He used the wrong finger during the pledge.

I've been wondering how he got certified. Well, Ok; it's California.

Off to a great start.

Tom G?

Brettski?

Anyone? Anyone?

Maybe he got caught fishing FOR girlscouts And then again,maybe he got caught breaking in to a secret military facility gathering info for the future Deathstar he now has control of

...I'm not prepared to be banned

Jeff brought a Playboy magazine to camp and was selling peeks for a nickle each. He was already a entrepreneur at that early age. Too bad the Scout Master didn't like the business plan.

Wait, was there Playboy magazine back then?

JHAP doesnt peek...he stares

Come on B'ski, I'll put it on the tee for you:

...................................Brownie

rmedgar lites the fuse...

-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-

Maybe he did what we did in the Boy Scouts. We put tin cans of Army C rations into the campfire and waited for them to explode. Not a very smart thing to do but it was funny watching someone scream with melted cheese all over them!

That was almost as fun as stealing and hiding someone's pants in the tent so when they got up they had no pants!

I'm afraid that's how you get IN the boyscouts, not kicked out. (My apologies to all you diehard scouts out there).

I don't know whether to (groan) or (ewwwww).

Ok, here goes:

How JHAP Got Kicked Out Of the Boy Scouts:

I was belligerent.


See I told you. Way, way too much build up. Kinda disappointing ain't it? Oh sure I could have made up some elaborate story about how I was kicked out of the Boy Scouts but the truth was I was belligerent.


You see a young JHAP (YJHAP) went through a rather anti-social stage. He could see the oppression inherent in the system all around him. He was sure THE MAN was trying to hold him down. Authority was something to be fought. Then his best friend at the time, we'll call him Mark because that's what his name is, up and joined the Boy Scouts - out of the blue, for seemingly no valid reason. So I felt compelled to join. The first meeting didn't go so well. I recall the meeting went something like this:

SCOUT LEADER: Boys I'd like you to meet our new member YJHAP.

MARK: Dude, he called you a member.

YJHAP: Pops who you calling a member?

SCOUT LEADER: I meant future Boy Scout and don't interrupt.

SCOUT LEADER: Boys what would you do if you were stranded in the woods without fire or shelter?

SCOUTING NERD #1: I'd first build a small shelter out of branches and twigs and leaves and line the floor with grass. Then I'd build a fire.

SCOUT LEADER: Very good SN1. And Boys how would you build a fire?

YJHAP: I'd flick my bic.

SCOUT LEADER: YJHAP, let's assume you don't have a lighter.

YJHAP: Then how are you lightin your ciggies?

SCOUT LEADER: We don't smoke "ciggies" besides you're too young to smoke. Whose giving you cigarettes?

YJHAP: No one "gives" a kid ciggies, you have to either buy them from Toad or you have to steal them from Michael Laudenbak's older sister, she keeps a stash under her dresser.

SCOUT LEADER: We may have to discuss this with your parents YJHAP, now lets get back to the matter at hand. Let's assume Mark was supposed to bring the cigarette lighter and he forgot. How would you light your campfire?

YJHAP: Mark forgot the bic? For that I'd have to slug 'em.

SCOUT LEADER: We don't fight, we never fight.

YJHAP: I thought your motto was "Be Prepared." Sometimes people need to be slugged and when they do you should be prepared to slug them. So what would you do to the guy that forgot the freakin lighter?

SCOUT LEADER: We would remind Mark that it was his responsibility to remember to bring a crucial tool to the camp and he forgot and in so doing let down all of his fellow scouts.

YJHAP: That's it. No slug? No Pink Belly? No Purple Nurple?

YJHAP: Mark did you hear that he called you a crucial tool.

SCOUTING LEADER: YJHAP, I don't think your scouting material. I think you better leave.

YJHAP: Fine, I'm gone, just gimme my dues back, I think I'm low on ciggies.


And that was that. By the way I never got my dues back and quit smoking when I was 15 or so.

Hilarious!

Ahh, JHAP - don't you know that when you fight Authority, Authority always wins?

That's pretty funny JHAP. I sat halfway through one meeting then I realized I was surrounded by dorks...including the leaders...at least that was my probably misplaced opinion at the time. I had the same attitude as you but just didn't express it as openly. I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by family members who were accomplished outdoorsmen. Don't get me wrong though, I do think it is a good opportunity for some kids.

Anybody watch the Penn & Teller on the boyscouts organization?