Pond Boss Forums GENERAL QUESTIONS Pond Boss A record setting prayer for JHAP's DAD

as i mentioned over on another post, jeff's dad has suddenly taken a turn for the worse. it easiest probably to let you see jeff's correspondence to me as follows:


"Hi Dave,

My father had a massive heart attack on Tuesday. He was rushed via ambulance to a local hospital.

Unfortunately the prognosis in not great. His heart is very weak, one of the major blood vessels that supplies
the brain is almost 80% blocked, and his kidneys are only functioning at about 12% of normal. Dialysis is not
an option because the increased blood pressure caused by this procedure could cause a heart attach or stroke.

I though about posting on Pond Boss related to this but every time I try to write the words I just can't finish. If you want to mention it there that is fine.

I'm trying to hold the family together and work seven days a week. That sounds so damn selfish of me. I'm just really stressed now.

As I was writing this I just got a phone call from my Mom. Dad had another attack this morning. I'm going to the hospital now.

I'll update you later,

Jeff"



So from me personally, I am really sorry for you Jeff…..group hug man….. my dad is 88 and still healthy, and I dread the day you now are facing...stay strong my friend, i hope to get pondboss prayers from across the country for you and yer family.

Dave.

We'll be praying for Jeff, his dad, and the rest of the family.

I'm very sorry to hear this news.

Chicago is there for ya, JHAP. Prayers beamed up warp speed to the west coast.

JHAP hang in there - our prayers are with your family.

I'll be thinking of you also, JHAP.

Prayers for JHAP and family.

We love ya, Jeff.

my wife's niece is here from brooklyn and had heard about my "pond chat room" from my wife. suffice it to say she is now impressed as we think about jeff, and she witnesses people from texas, illinois, missip, pennsylvania, nebraska....all focusing good thoughts to san diego and my friends family.

Jeff,we are sending our thoughts and prayers for you and your family. Tom&LindaLu Siebert

Our thoughts are with JHAP and his family. It is always very difficult to cope during this type of family crisis. The crisis seldom happen at convenient times. I think all families know this kind of stress all too well.

Ken

Jeff, We hate to hear this kind of news. Stay strong and we will pray and I will light candles for your Dad. I hope all will turn out well for you and the family. We are with you through this ordeal.

JHAP, my thoughts and prayers are with you also.

Prayers from MN too Jeff!

Jeff, may you and the entire Has a Pond family come through this as well as possible.

knee mail set

Jeff,All our hopes and prayers for you,your dad and the rest of your family.The Goodenough family,Texas

Hang in there Jeff. Prayers are coming.

Jeff, words fail me and I’m having difficulty putting my thoughts into words.
The words most important are that our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

The other words that are difficult to express in times of death and near death, we celebrate our loved one lives, and cherish the memories of life well served.

I'm in.

Hang in there Jeff, you have friends praying for you and yours.

Thank you all for you kind thoughts and prayers. I really appreciate my Pond Boss family. Dad's condition is not good. His kidney function has dropped to 10%, he is severly anemic and is blood pressure is very low. Because he has multiple deteriorating conditions (heart/kidney/arteries) the doctors don't want to use any invasive techinque (shunt, pacemaker, dialysis) because he might not survive the procedure. They were going to give him a blood transfusion last night to try to stabilize him. The goal at this point is to get him stable enough to bring home. I hope that is possible.

He keeps getting so many visitors it's hard for him to get some rest. My mom is one of the top volunteers at the hospital so she is well known there. In addition my wife Ricki and I were actually married in the hospital ER (a long story that I'll tell you all about some time) and it was the only time in the hospital's history that anyone had ever been married in the ER. We made the newspaper and a lot of people heard about it. So we keep getting "oh, you're the couple that were married in the ER."

Thank you DIED for posting this, you are a good friend. I kept trying to post something but felt lost for words.

Once again thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. Keep them coming. I'd like to get Dad stable enough to bring him home.

Jeff, I owe you a prayer, it is on our list. Your Dad had the heart attack on the day of Dad's memorial. To spite what everyone has done for me I'm at a loss for words. All I can say is I feel prayer helped me and the family immensely and feel it will do the same for you, your Dad's family.

Our prayers are with you too.

Given all of his failing systems, Dad is doing fairly well. He was given a blood transfusion which help to stabilize him somewhat. His kidneys have improved to about 12% production. The goal now is to get him stable enough to take home. He got up and walked a little over the past two days. Unfortunately
there is not much that can be done to improve the long term prognosis. He has a bad heart, bad kidneys, and a severely clogged artery in his neck. Any procedure to effect any of those conditions is too invasive at this point, the doctors don't think that he would survive the surgery.

We are just trying to get him stable enough to bring him home.

Sorry for not posting an update sooner but I'm running kind of ragged right now.

We're still thinking of you and your family, Jeff.

Hang in there, Jeff. We're still praying.

dittos jeff, thanks for the update, special prayers for yer mom too.

dave

Dad's had a rough couple of days. His blood pressure yesterday was horribly low. At this point they won't give us an estimated release date. He is getting weaker daily, he doesn't sleep well in the hospital with all the commotion going on around him.

I just pray we can bring him home soon.

I'll pray too.

Our prayers are with you, and your family. May you recieve the strength needed to cope with these difficult times

My Dad died in the hospital last night a little after 10pm.

An absolutely amazing event happened that help to renew my faith.

Early yesterday morning dad's kidney's failed and Dad wanted to try dialysis. Dad expressed to my Mom that he did not want to be resuscitated but unfortunately the Doctor was not informed. About a hour after the procedure began Dad coded. Since the do not resuscitate (DNR) orders had not been written in his chart the emergency staff used the shock paddles and restarted his heart. As you can imagine this caused quite a reaction by us (well ok especially me) since he had (I thought) a he had a standing DNR order, I had to be restrained by my wife an a nurse. Once the staff was informed of the DNR order all procedures were haulted. Dad remained unsconcious for several hours. It was a horrible and grim event followed by hours of agony - all of which was never supposed to happen. I want to be clear about this though, I do not blame the hospital staff. In the confusion of things the DNR orders had not been conveyed to his doctor and accordingly his chart did not reflect them. Therefore the critical care staff were only doing their job.

Here is the amazing part. After several hours unconscious Dad suddenly awoke. He went from being coded and unconcious to completely conscious and alert and talking. The critial care staff were amazed as was my wife (an RN that has served in ICU, CCU, NICU, & ER) that he was lucid and speaking to us all. After a minute or two Dad suddenly said "Well that was a profound experience." We asked him what was profound. He said that he was aware that we were all there during the unconsciousness (following the code) and that he could hear us talking to him. He said that he felt the need to tell us stuff (but at time was unable to speak). He said that he was trying to read us "pages in a book" or "items from a list." We were able to have about 2 hours with him talking. He was able to tell us things that he wanted done that he loved us all. We were able tell him that we love him and that he had been the best father that children could possibly hope for and that of course we would take care of Mom. At about 7 in the evening he fell asleep and he passed away peacefully in his sleep at about 10pm. We were blessed to have this time with him and his passing was as peaceful as anyone could ask for.

From the bottom of my heart I thank you all for the prayers. I believe that through all of our collective prayers we were granted the additional time with my father to comfort him and enjoy his presence.

God Bless you all for that.

Here's Dad doing what he loved to do, catching one of the (pre forage stocking) skinny bass on our Ranch.



Find all of the best fishing spots Dad, I'll see you when I get there.

What a special, wonderful way to get to say goodbye.


You know, I believe I agree with you.

God Bless..
Jeff, our prayers and thoughts are with you and your family.
The Glazeners'

Jeff it is amazing that you could share that with us under the circumstance. Thanks for the effort. As I told Greg - your dad is still there just in a different way.

Thinking of you and your family Jeff. Thanks for sharing your supernatural experience.

Wow...that is an incredible story, Jeff. I believe...I believe! Peace to your Dad and strength/prayers to your family and loved ones.

I can't even hardly comment because I can barely see the computer screen. The lump in my throat is as big as that bass your Dad has in the picture...

Thanks, Jeff.

gutwrenching, poignant, and incredibly beautiful story jeff, i'm sorry i never met yer dad, i cant wipe my tears fast enough. those two hours were a gift from God, may yer family have unbreakable strength in the months to come, and trust yer dad is in a great place now.

love from both of us, hope to talk to you soon.

dave

My family extends our sympathy to you and your family. That was an amazing story. Sounds like your dad left you with a lot of great memories. What a special gift. Stay strong my friend.

Jeff,

Thank you for sharing that amazing story. I'm so glad you and your family got to spend that precious time with your dad. You will remain in our prayers, friend.

That pretty much says it all for me too.
Tom Goodenough&family wishes you and yours all the best.

I had to close the door to my office. I didn't want to explain why I was crying to anyone.

Beautiful story Jeff, I'm all choked up. God bless your family. I am glad our prayers were answered in a way that gave you, your dad and your family some closing.

Your family was blessed.

My children asked me why I was crying .....until they read your post JHAP. Then they were crying right along with me and giving me the love I am sure you gave your father in those last hours.

Your trials have reminded us all of our mortality. I pray for you and your family. I also pray that I will have the blessed chance to say goodbye to my parents when the time comes as you did

.

Take care Jeff, and prayers to all the family.

Wow Jeff. Thanks.

God has truly blessed your dad and family. It's so nice when some obvious good things come out of a loss like this.

Jeff the PB family is amazing and I know you agree. The prayers helped with both of us. That was an amazing story, writing it might have helped with the griving as well. Not sure if you have had the funeral yet, but if I can help in anyway please feel free to call my cell 770-378-6285. Having just went through this I might help, but feel free to call. I will continue to pray for you and your Dad's family. Glad we both could share in peaceful passings but it is still difficult. What was your Dad's name? I want to tell Melvin to seek him out since he has another potential fishing partner.

Thank you all so much for your kind thoughts and prayers.

I cannot effectively express how much this means to me.

Greg it was so nice talking with you on the telephone this afternoon, I forgot to say my father's name is Tom and I know that he and Melvin will soon have... FISH ON!

Here's just another great memory....

Absolutely an amazing story, Jeff. Sincere condolences on the loss of your father. He's fishing up there with the best of them. My Dad's up there by the card tables with his friends, maybe they'll see each other. Keep the memories close always as I have done of my own father.

Jeff,

It's times like the ones in the pic above that we all need to cherish and remember when our loved ones are no longer here.

Thanks for sharing...your story is truly an inspiration and a cause for celebration in a moment of loss and grief.

Jeff nice talking wit you as well. I thnk you might have helped me more than I helped you. I look forward to meeting you in July. great picture. Here is my Dad (left) and Father in law. that was a fun trip. http://www.lakework.com/photo_gallery/gallery2/v/BIGBASS/PICT0012.JPG.html

http://www.lakework.com/photo_gallery/gallery2/v/BIGBASS/PICT0002.JPG.html

Memories, glad we got em.

Amazing story of your fathers last hours Jeff, really amazing. God Bless.

I thought I would share the eulogy that I gave for my father. In order for this to make sense there are a few things that you should know. First and most important my father was a very, very funny man. He loved humor and always made my family laugh. That is the reason that this eulogy has an attempt at humor in it, it was in no way, shape or form being disrespectful, in was my way to honor him. Second I am his only son (in spite of the fact that the San Diego newspaper published my wife's name, Ricki, as a surviving son.)

JHAP's Eulogy:

Throughout our lives we encounter obstacles and difficult times. During times like these my dad had a unique way to change our perspective and attitude on the situation.

Dad taught us that you cannot always change events that happen in your life but you can always control how you react to them. So when faced with challenging times dad would simply say “just think of it as an adventure.”

We had many of these “adventures” in our lives. I would like to share one today.

Years ago mom & dad owned a boat that we used for water skiing. This was a beautiful wooden hulled Chris Craft Cavalier that was powered with a corvette motor.

We would ski behind this boat for hours on end.

One year during a camping trip to Lake Shasta we were spending a day of skiing and boating on the huge lake.

One unique feature of this boat was that it did not have a gas gauge. You had to determine the fuel level by stopping the boat and lowering a measuring stick into to the fuel tank to get a reading. So if the boat was moving your exact fuel level at any particular time was anyone’s guess.

Well on this particular day we had boated and ski’d our way far, far up one of the remote arms of the enormous lake. And then it happened. The engine sputtered to a halt when the last bit of gas was consumed.

So here we were very, very far away from any fuel dock or camp sites and out of gas.

There was one additional challenge that I probably should mention … we only had one paddle.

The thought of paddling this heavy wooden boat miles back to a fuel dock did not sit well a certain young and impatient son of Tom.

For the purposes of this story we will let his son’s name remain anonymous so as not to embarrass or otherwise incriminate me.

With one person using the only oar that we had and the rest of us using water skis as paddles we began to row.

We rowed this way for six days and five nights. We rationed the Dorritos and soda pop and supplemented that with birds and fish that we managed to catch for food. We drank the milk of the occasional coconut that floated by. We never questioned how a coconut got to Lake Shasta…..

Or at least that is the way it seemed to a certain nameless and impatient teenage son.

In truth we rowed for about an hour when another boat happened by and graciously towed us to a fuel dock.

During this process as I, I mean he, the nameless, faceless, anonymous, impatient son, became increasingly frustrated and angry.

This son started vocalizing his irritation toward the situation.

My dad told this son that a bad attitude would not help the situation. He said to me

“Just think of it as an adventure."

As an adult I have come to appreciate these so called adventures that our family has experienced over the years.

Dad was always able to change our perspective on the difficult times with just one simple phrase.

Just think of it as an adventure.

I cannot change the events that brought us here today. But hopefully i can give you just one of the many gifts that my father gave to me and that is this lesson:

All of you here will face challenges, adversities and difficult times in your lives.

You cannot always change the timing of an event or effect that an event may have on your life.

But you can always control how you react to these challenging times.

You get to choose how you treat others.

You get to chose whether you will display frustration or show understanding.

You get to choose whether or not you will react in anger, or in compassion.

So when faced with a challenging or difficult time i ask you to remember my dad’s words, the simple the phrase that he so often used to help my family face adversity…

Just think of it as an adventure.

My sister gave an excellent eulogy that was filled with humor. I had a great many people approach me afterward and comment that this was the first memorial service that they had ever been to that celebrated the fun life of a person. Many people laughted out loud during the eulogies. This really made me feel that we had honored Dad.

I can honestly tell you that the reality of my father being gone has not sunk in yet. I have not as yet faced the full meaning of his passing.

One ray of light in this process was my telephone conversation with Greg Grimes. Greg you are a class act. To extend a helping hand to me during a time of tragedy in your life illustrates what a giving person you are. I sincerely thank you. The photos of your father are fantastic. I'm sure your Dad and mine are fishing one of heavens ponds together.

Thank God for that fortuitous coconut. And God bless your Dad, Jeff.

Jeff you done him proud. They sound so much alike, I truly hope they are fishing and sharing navy stories together. Thanks again for sharing.

Jeffie, That was really special. I know your Dad was proud to have you as a son. God bless all the JHAP family.

Jeff and Greg, I'm not sure the loss or finality ever totally sinks in. Dad has been gone for over 30 years and Mom for 4 yrs. I still catch my self thinking "Gotta ask Dad (or Mom) about that.