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Joined: Sep 2003
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014  Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
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Posts: 13,740 Likes: 293 |
There are some hard acts to follow here when it comes to stupid stunts!
Excerpt from Robert Crais' "The Monkey's Raincoat:"
"She took another microscopic bite of her sandwich, then pushed it away. Maybe she absorbed nutrients from her surroundings."
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Joined: Jan 2006
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Moderator Lunker
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You know, for years Cecil and I had pretty well lapped the field. Then this thread showed up.
It's not about the fish. It's about the pond. Take care of the pond and the fish will be fine. PB subscriber since before it was in color.
Without a sense of urgency, Nothing ever gets done.
Boy, if I say "sic em", you'd better look for something to bite. Sam Shelley Rancher and Farmer Muleshoe Texas 1892-1985 RIP
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Joined: Nov 2006
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IV'E GOT A GOOD ONE FOR THIS THREAD, RCVD 8 INCHES OF RAIN IN TWO DAYS, HAD 18 INCHES OVER THE TUBE, AND STUPID ME TRIED TO EXTEND THE PIPE UP ANOTHE 4 FEET TO WITHIN A FOOT OF THE TOP OF THE DAM, NEEDLESS TO SAY I GOT SUCKED INTO THE 8 INCH TUBE ONE LEG ALL THE WAY TO MY GROIN. IT SHREDDED MY LEG FROM ANKLE TO KNEE, AND SEVERELY BRUISED THE INSIDE OF THE PELVIS AREA.THANK THE ONE ABOVE THAT I HAD A FRIEN THERE WITH ME WHO ALSO HAD HIS ARM IN THIS PIPE ALL THE WAY TO HIS SHOULDER TRYING TO GET ME OUT
WE STOPPED THE FLOW OF WATER WITH OUR BODIES AND WHEN ALL THE WATER LEFT THE PIPE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE DAM IT TOOK A BIG GULP OF AIR AND SPIT US BOTH UT LIKE A CORK.
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, I THOUGHT I WAS A GONER!
chris garton
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Joined: Mar 2006
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You are one lucky person. My husband tried that extension thing and I raised hell as I didn't want the water that high up the bank. I told him to wait until water was down to take the pipe off but no, he too, took the 18" pipe off (from the bank). I was so worried he would try what you did and people forget just how powerful water force can be. I'm glad you listed this in the thread...people need to know, it is very, very dangerous.
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Joined: Oct 2005
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Ambassador
Field Correspondent Lunker
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Ambassador
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IV'E GOT A GOOD ONE FOR THIS THREAD....I GOT SUCKED INTO THE 8 INCH TUBE ONE LEG ALL THE WAY TO MY GROIN. IT SHREDDED MY LEG FROM ANKLE TO KNEE, AND SEVERELY BRUISED THE INSIDE OF THE PELVIS AREA
Hokey smokes, Iowanagofishin! You've just earned a free pass to go ice-walking with me during the months of March and April.
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Joined: Sep 2003
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,740 Likes: 293 |
Brettski, I believe you have a recent event to list here.
Excerpt from Robert Crais' "The Monkey's Raincoat:"
"She took another microscopic bite of her sandwich, then pushed it away. Maybe she absorbed nutrients from her surroundings."
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,740 Likes: 293
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,740 Likes: 293 |
Brettski's unwilling entry in the the Illinois Polar Bear Club (sans pictures): Well, it's Saturday and I'm gonna do what I normally do alot of these days on Saturdays....go to the pond project. I'm sanding out the drywall in our little shed, preparing for primer and paint. This past week has been solid with temps well below freezing during the night and in the low 20's during the day. This might be my last opportunity to sneak out on the ice and clean out the Wood Duck houses before the spring thaw. After completing my sanding job, I head for the pond.
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This pic is the target area for house-cleaning, taken 2 weeks ago. There are 4 gray nesting boxes on poles, and a somewhat shallow draw running in from the left that separates them. The building site and my entrance to this area is on the far end, right of frame.
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I strap into my insulated boots, sweats, and down jacket. It's sunny today and the temps are in the upper 20's with a steady breeze. This weather gear combo is very comfortable. There's a blanket of about 6" of snow over everything, so I start to thinkin' thickness matters. I kick some snow away from the ice in the shallows next to the boat launch. It seems sturdy enough. I start to walk along in front of the building site, heading to the other side of the pond and the Duck boxes. The ice is creaking and popping. Uh...I don't like this. I'm the only one back here and I still don't own a cell phone (there; I said it). I'm dumb, but I ain't totally stupid. I want to get this done, but not at a life risk. I already know that I won't go into any area that would be over 4 or 5' deep. I have my little blue nylon tool bag with a drill (and some screwdrivers in case I need to pull myself out of an fargin icehole). The bag of clean cedar chips are in the other hand. I head back up onto the building site and walk thru the snow to the area where I'm gonna have to go out on the ice. There are some little 2" diameter holes where water had come up and wasn't totally frozen solid, so this concerns me. OK, here we go...
I walk out on the ice to the first WD house. I can feel the ice below me give about an inch, maybe less, but stop. Hmmm...I'm not diggin' this, but I work thru the first 2 boxes without issue. Now, the scarier step. I have to go across the draw and it looks like it's sloppier with slush. I grab my blue bag and bag of clean cedar chips and head out. Not good....not good...but I make it across. OK, I think I'm gonna make it, so out to the 3rd WD box. Before I get there, there's one of those 2" holes with slushy water. I push my finger into it and inspect. There's about 1" of ice, then 1/2" of water, then another 1-1/2" of ice. This explains why my footsteps are popping down 1/2" and stopping. Oooo boy, just wait....2 more steps and KER-SPLOOSH! Up to my crotch, with the tool bag in one hand and the wood chips in the other. At this poignant moment, a half dozen things rush thru my mind. First, this is horrible...and cold. I can get out, though...right? Should I just ditch the tools and wood chips, or try to save everything? I doubt that I'm gonna want to put on the primer when I'm done. Wow...this is a very good taste of the ice-death potential. I can see how critters and people could die from this. All this runs thru my brain in one second. OK, I can get one knee up on the ice and raise myself up. God, my boots weigh a frickin ton. OK...up...up...KER-SPLOOSH! . Aw jeez; my knuckles are scraped and bleeding from the ice and I don't even give a damn! OK, one more time...up....up....KER-SPLOOSH! I don't remember how many times I went back thru; maybe 8 times. I did keep reaching back and moving both the tool bag and the wood chips one hole forward every time I fell back thru. Finally, as I got into about 2 feet of water, I was able to stand up, grab my tool bag and wood chips, and head back....to the draw. Come on, give me a break...please? I got across the first time. I think I went across about here, and now I am really starting to get numb. Easy...easy...KER-SPLOOSH! In up to my waist. Aw jeez....I can't go out like this! Up on one knee, lean forward...yep, you guessed. Another 6 or 8 times back into the frozen drink. Yep, you guessed that one too. I kept pulling my tool bag and wood chips along with each new dunk hole. At this point, I stand up in the briars at the woods and decide that I don't care; some of the survival instict stuff starts to kick in and I just plow right thru the stickers. I'm so numb that I can't even feel the pain, but I can feel them holding me back as I try to move forward, the little barbs popping off and hanging from my frozen wet sweatpants. My feet weigh a ton cuz my boots are filled with water, but I don't care...taking them off isn't an option if I can just get back to the warm shed. By the time I'm 1/2 way back, trudging across the building site thru the snow, I start to feel warm and the sense of urgency begins to subside. I know better. I kept hoofing and made it back to the change of clothes that I always bring on these trips...just in case something stupid happens.
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There's a moral here, but I doubt that I need to point it out. At least, now I know how deep the draw is. _________________________
Last edited by Theo Gallus; 03/05/08 11:26 AM. Reason: Assigning credit and/or blame
Excerpt from Robert Crais' "The Monkey's Raincoat:"
"She took another microscopic bite of her sandwich, then pushed it away. Maybe she absorbed nutrients from her surroundings."
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 328
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 328 |
IV'E GOT A GOOD ONE FOR THIS THREAD, RCVD 8 INCHES OF RAIN IN TWO DAYS, HAD 18 INCHES OVER THE TUBE, AND STUPID ME TRIED TO EXTEND THE PIPE UP ANOTHE 4 FEET TO WITHIN A FOOT OF THE TOP OF THE DAM, NEEDLESS TO SAY I GOT SUCKED INTO THE 8 INCH TUBE ONE LEG ALL THE WAY TO MY GROIN. IT SHREDDED MY LEG FROM ANKLE TO KNEE, AND SEVERELY BRUISED THE INSIDE OF THE PELVIS AREA.THANK THE ONE ABOVE THAT I HAD A FRIEN THERE WITH ME WHO ALSO HAD HIS ARM IN THIS PIPE ALL THE WAY TO HIS SHOULDER TRYING TO GET ME OUT
WE STOPPED THE FLOW OF WATER WITH OUR BODIES AND WHEN ALL THE WATER LEFT THE PIPE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE DAM IT TOOK A BIG GULP OF AIR AND SPIT US BOTH UT LIKE A CORK.
DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, I THOUGHT I WAS A GONER! DANG!!! I think the pipe in my pond is about 8 inches. Haven't got out there in a boat to look at it up close though. I'll remember not to mess around with it when it's sucking water after a rain. If it comes a big enough rain here i lose water around the southwest corner of the dam. We've had some good rains in the last month but it hasn't run over any. Neighbor said if we get a bunch of rain real quick then there's nothing you can do but watch.
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 8,854 Likes: 1
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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OP
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 8,854 Likes: 1 |
Although this has turned out to be a really funny and entertaining thread, my original purpose was to possibly prevent an injury or death by giving us all a chance to share our "stupidest stunts". Reading ericdc's last response seems to indicate that it's been successful. I know that I've learned a thing or two.
Holding a redear sunfish is like running with scissors.
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Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 21,490 Likes: 265
Moderator Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
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Moderator Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 21,490 Likes: 265 |
Tractors on steep inclines and messing with running water filled pipes are both death wishes.  -- 
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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 16,051 Likes: 277
Moderator Lunker
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Moderator Lunker
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 16,051 Likes: 277 |
I just reread all of these. I'd recommend it.
It's not about the fish. It's about the pond. Take care of the pond and the fish will be fine. PB subscriber since before it was in color.
Without a sense of urgency, Nothing ever gets done.
Boy, if I say "sic em", you'd better look for something to bite. Sam Shelley Rancher and Farmer Muleshoe Texas 1892-1985 RIP
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,114
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Lunker
Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,114 |
I would list my list but, I havent the time nor the typing skill to type the 10,000 word essasy on my fine career as a TOTAL IDIOT growing up as a child in 70's Texas. I am surprised and lucky to be here today,several times over.
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Joined: Oct 2007
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Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 8,854 Likes: 1
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
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OP
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Lunker
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 8,854 Likes: 1 |
Holding a redear sunfish is like running with scissors.
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 214
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Nice post Bruce,
I almost had a seizure from the maxed out graphics!!!
I ain't telling although I've really enjoyed reading.
Go Fatty, Go Fatty, Go Fatty, Go Fatty...
Chip
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Welllllll.
I have is narrowed down to two catagories: Police involvment/no police involvment.
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Joined: Jul 2003
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Welllllll.
I have is narrowed down to two catagories: Police involvment/no police involvment. If it's been more than 7 years and nobody died; Step forth and expound! Chip
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Joined: Oct 2005
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Joined: Oct 2005
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OK Police it is....
The day started out great, I was 14 years old and my parents were oit of town, and they left me and my brother home alone. For the first time ever my parents left us in charge. It was a great day at school, and after football practice I was waiting for my brother to pick me up from school. I waited and waited and still no show. So I get a ride home with a friend. Once i got home I realized my neighbor was supposed to get a ride home with me and my brother. SOOOO, what do I do? I decide to jump into my parents giant suburban and what else? Goto school to pick up my friend. No sooner than I back the suburban out of the drive way, who should I see? None other than my friend getting a ride home from someone else...OUR FOOTBALL coach. So he sees me in the car and stops in front of me with a shocked look on his face. Then I proceed to hit the gas instead of the brake and Smash into the side of my coaches little Nissan pickup. The whole time looking at the shocked look on his face as I pushed his little truck up onto two wheels. Lucky for me i didnt roll his truck, and nobody got hurt. But the police were called and was in some trouble. And a little bit later that day I found out why my brother didnt pick me up. He had wrecked his lil car on the way to pick me up from school. So my parents got a call the first time they left us home alone. The first part was my brother saying he totaled his car, and then he hands me the phone....wasnt a fun call. needless to say...they werent happy.
So theres a lil glimpse in just one of the numerous stupid things I have done in my lifetime.
 
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,740 Likes: 293
Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
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Moderator Ambassador Field Correspondent Hall of Fame 2014 Lunker
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 13,740 Likes: 293 |
That was a lot cleaner of a story then I expected.
Excerpt from Robert Crais' "The Monkey's Raincoat:"
"She took another microscopic bite of her sandwich, then pushed it away. Maybe she absorbed nutrients from her surroundings."
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,114
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Joined: Oct 2005
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I planned it that way. It IS a family forum....
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Joined: Jul 2003
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Nice,
Makes up for all the coach's drop and give me - insert anything.
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Joined: Jul 2003
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Most of mine involve bootleg M-80's or other such nonsense.
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Joined: Oct 2007
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These 2 stories are going to be the best I can think of, they also involve police.
Story 1: I was about 16 and it was september blue-winged teal season. An older friend from church invited me on a before church teal hunt. We went and it was really foggy, didn't kill anything. On the way home I was just driving along minding my own business when a white sportscar comes flying around me. Little did the driver know there was a state trooper about a 1/4 ahead coming our way behind a log truck temporarily out of view. The trooper pulls the white speeding car over and we all laugh as we drive by. About 10 miles down the road I notice blue lights and what appears to be that same trooper behind me. Scared (just started driving, I had a red 78 Chevy Nova btw) I pull over and kill the car and start reaching from my insurance and registration. From behind I hear "get out of the car with your hands where I can see them" (shaking now) I open the door and get out slowly to the sight of a trooper with hand on pistol ready to pull it on me. I asked "what's wrong, what did I do?" He said the driver in the white car I pulled over said you were swerving all over the road and stuff like a drunk. I said, officer my brother and I just got through with an early morning teal hunt and are on our way to church, my bible is on the dash. He says something like So you probably haven't been drinking right, I laugh now and say no. He said, ok well drive safely. I left wondering if the white car got a ticket.
Story 2:
Opening day of duck season year 2005. November 19th 3 AM on interstate 20 just west of Monroe Louisiana. My brothers and I are in my white car loaded down with decoys, guns, etc. I fail to slow down when it turns from 70 to 60 and get pulled over doing just over 80. Where we hunt I use waders so i didn't have anything but my camo clothes on and socks. Officer asks "where are you headed in such a hurry" it's opening day of duck season I reply, and tell him where we are going. He asks why aren't u wearing shoes, I reply because I'm going to be putting on waders so I just was wearing socks. Then the idiot asks "are there guns in the car" I say, yes 3 shotguns, we are going duck hunting. They are not loaded and are in zippered cases. He then asks "do you have ammo in the car" (to which I reply yes, we are going duck hunting.) He tells me go back to the car and wait, I hear him call for backup on the radio and begin to wonder "what the hell? I'm gonna be late getting to my spot (public land). So another trooper pulls up and he asks me to come back again. The other trooper sits there with his BRIGHT flashlight straight in my eyes the whole time. I was getting cold so I put my hands in my pockets. I guess this made them nervous, so he said "sir please keep your hands where I can see them" (now i'm aggrivated) so I say "Look I don't have a weapon, My hands are cold" I'm not going to do anything. He says, well for all I know you have a loaded AK-47 back in the car. To which I just laugh and say "well I don't". After giving me a ticket for 84 in a 60 he sends me on my way. I deserved the ticket, but this guy was in a bad mood, I guess from working the late shift. I guess I looked real threatening in my camo clothes, no shoes, and car full of hunting gear on OPENING DAY OF DUCK SEASON!.
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Moderator Lunker
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"3 State Manhunt Conducted for Shoeless Eric" - it was in all the papers.
"Live like you'll die tomorrow, but manage your grass like you'll live forever." -S. M. Stirling ![[Linked Image from i.pinimg.com]](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/ed/b5/e7/edb5e7f935843b996cf52be593c9ebd2--smoothie-smooth-collie.jpg)
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Funny story Fatty! My little brother and and some of his friends have a similar story, they rolled a van while doing 80 mph on a gravel road while the parents of my brothers friend were at a husker football game. Just a word of advice for 14 year olds, never throw the tranny into low 1 while doing 80 down a gravel road. 
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