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#108186 02/16/08 12:02 AM
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1) Good:
A Fremont, OH policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem. A twelve-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand-painted sign, which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD". The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" . . . and a bucket full of money. (And we kids used to just sell lemonade!)

2) Better:
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Canton, OH. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

3) Best:
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the Ohio State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you're going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball." He replied " Ohio State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.......


If pigs could fly bacon would be harder to come by and there would be a lot of damaged trees.






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"The good news is none of the 50 states have the death penalty for speeding - although we're not sure about Ohio."
-Brock Yates, "The Gumball Rally"


"Live like you'll die tomorrow, but manage your grass like you'll live forever."
-S. M. Stirling
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Theo,
Get yourself a Pond Boss bumper sticker. How could someone give a ticket to anyone having a pond.


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Ohio's finest tagged me 4 years ago with 75 in a 55. 2 lane blacktop; he was on-coming, hiding behind an 18 wheeler with only his driver side mounted radar sticking out. He smiled at exactly the same time my radar detector screamed. I forgot to smile.

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You were driving 75 in a 55 zone? Where'd you think you were, anyplace other than Ohio?

Last edited by Theo Gallus; 02/16/08 11:00 AM. Reason: emphasis added

"Live like you'll die tomorrow, but manage your grass like you'll live forever."
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I got pulled over for speeding in Indiana on a dual lane last year. For the life of me I still don't get why the speed limit was 55 when all the other dual lanes in Indiana are 70 mph. There wasn't even a city or town nearby!

Anyway, he asked me how I was doing when he came up to the window. I said I was doing fine up until now. Cost me over $100.00. And they wonder why I won't donate to the State trooper's fund.


If pigs could fly bacon would be harder to come by and there would be a lot of damaged trees.






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Cecil,
You can come to PA when I am working and I will give a free pass. I figure atleast three cars behind you will be speeding anyway.
I had this one guy complain that I pulled him over and left the guy in front of him go. I said to him did you ever go fishing and he replied yes. I then asked him if he caught every fish in the lake every time he was out. He said no and I told him now you get my point.
Its like fishing in a barrel. I figure 1 in every 10 vehicles are speeding. I give everyone on major highways 17 over and on rural roads 12 over.


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The other evening I got pulled over for "speeding" -- the first time in about 40 years. It was in a very exclusive and very wealthy small rural town in northern Virginia's Loudoun County. The very respectful and friendly officer told me that he clocked me doing 39 mph in a 35 mph zone.

We didn't know each other. I'm fairly certain that he knew of me from my volunteer activities in the local area. I would guess that he knew that I was friends with members of his family. He took my drivers license and registration back to his police SUV. A few moments later he reappeared, and asked that I respect the town's speed limits -- which I certainly agreed to.

I went on my way.

As I pulled out, I saw that the car traveling just two cars behind mine, was being pulled over.

On my way home each evening this week, including this morning (Saturday) I've seen multiple cars pulled over where traffic usually moves along at 15-20 mph over the speed limit. I guess it is some kind of crackdown.

If you are on US 50, between Chantilly, VA and the WV line -- be especially vigilant.

High Speed Ken


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Wow...a whole 39 mph.

You daredevil!


"Only after sorrow's hand has bowed your head will life become truly real to you; then you will acquire the noble spirituality which intensifies the reality of life. I go to an all-powerful God. Beyond that I have no knowledge--no fear--only faith."
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 Originally Posted By: BrianShpock
Cecil,
You can come to PA when I am working and I will give a free pass. I figure atleast three cars behind you will be speeding anyway.
I had this one guy complain that I pulled him over and left the guy in front of him go. I said to him did you ever go fishing and he replied yes. I then asked him if he caught every fish in the lake every time he was out. He said no and I told him now you get my point.
Its like fishing in a barrel. I figure 1 in every 10 vehicles are speeding. I give everyone on major highways 17 over and on rural roads 12 over.


No worries Brian. I only have it out for Indiana state troopers. \:\/


If pigs could fly bacon would be harder to come by and there would be a lot of damaged trees.






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 Originally Posted By: davatsa
Wow...a whole 39 mph.

You daredevil!


That's really fast for guys his age. \:D

Wait... I think he's about my age.


If pigs could fly bacon would be harder to come by and there would be a lot of damaged trees.






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 Originally Posted By: Cecil Baird1

That's really fast for guys his age. \:D

Wait... I think he's about my age.



 Quote:
from "Pondering Old Age -- http://www.ahajokes.com/age32.html

How do I know that my youth is all spent?
Well, my get up and go has got up and went.
But in spite of it all I am able to grin
when I recall where my get up has been.

Old age is golden-so I've heard it said-
but sometimes I wonder when I get into bed,
with my ears in a drawer and my teeth in a cup,
my eyes on the table until I wake up.

Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself,
"Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?"
And I'm happy to say as I close my door,
my friends are the same, perhaps even more.

When I was young, my slippers were red,
I could pick up my heels right over my head.
When I grew older, my slippers were blue,
but still I could dance the whole night through.

But now I am old, my slippers are black,
I walk to the store and puff my way back.
The reason I know my youth is all spent,
my get up and go has got up and went.

But I really don't mind when I think, with a grin,
of all the grand places my get up has been.
Since I have retired from life's competition,
I accommodate myself with complete repetition.

I get up each morning, and dust off my wits,
pick up my paper and read the "obits".
If my name is missing, I know I'm not dead,
so I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed


Cecil,

Would you like me to share some of my prunes and Geritol?

Ken


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Catmandoo,
I cant believe he pulled you over going 4 miles over the posted limit. I would personally feel bad! I remember a Liuetenant at the State Police Academy stating it is just plain wrong to hold someone else at a higher standard than you hold yourself to. In PA the troopers have a rule of a minimum of 6 miles over. Hell on the interstate you must maintain atleast that or you would cause a traffic jam.


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 Originally Posted By: catmandoo
[quote=Cecil Baird1]

Cecil,

Would you like me to share some of my prunes and Geritol?

Ken


No need to share Ken. I can buy it here too! \:\)

Last edited by Cecil Baird1; 02/17/08 07:04 AM.

If pigs could fly bacon would be harder to come by and there would be a lot of damaged trees.






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Brian,I wish you were here in Texas.In the small town where my business is they got a friend of mine for 2 over!I f any of ya'll visit ir go through Hubbard,tx,please watch your speed and dont forget signals.They like out of towners money just like the locals


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 Originally Posted By: TOM G
Brian,I wish you were here in Texas.In the small town where my business is they got a friend of mine for 2 over!I f any of ya'll visit ir go through Hubbard,tx,please watch your speed and dont forget signals.They like out of towners money just like the locals


Is this one of those one blinkie towns where they have nothing else to do? Seems to me it's time for a UFO hoax to liven things up. To bad you're so far away. \:D


If pigs could fly bacon would be harder to come by and there would be a lot of damaged trees.






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Cecil,
1) It is a one redlight town and there are several guys that ride thier lawnmowers for tranpotation.
2) There was a ufo sighting reported not long ago and I saw the report several times on the news!!!


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Just as i thought. It'a one blinkie town. I guess someone already beat me to it on the UFO hoax.


If pigs could fly bacon would be harder to come by and there would be a lot of damaged trees.






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 Originally Posted By: TOM G
there are several guys that ride thier lawnmowers for tranportation.


I know this type of town. I pulled up to a 4-way stop in a small Texas town heading north about a year ago, and a Mennonite man on horse & buggy pulled up to the same intersection headed west. I tried to wave him through, but he insisted I go first.

I guess he figured a pickup can beat a horse in a game of chicken . . .


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Hey you ain't seen nothin' until you've seen a horse and buggy pulling a huge bass boat and trailer with a 200 hp. motor on it. I live near one of the largest Amish communities in the country. I've seen it on several occasions.


If pigs could fly bacon would be harder to come by and there would be a lot of damaged trees.






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Cecil, could we please see a picture of that? (boat w/trailer&motor). Priceless.


I have buried the hatchet.

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 Originally Posted By: 40 yr old virgin
Cecil, could we please see a picture of that? (boat w/trailer&motor). Priceless.
I wish I had taken a picture. Next time I see it I will be sure to snap a picture and post it.


If pigs could fly bacon would be harder to come by and there would be a lot of damaged trees.






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Before you snap a single picture, make sure they don't carry that certain shotgun in their buggy too!!! just funnin ya! ;-)


I have buried the hatchet.

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There have been some DUIs given to some PA Amish folks that have had one too many and then saddled up the horse drawn buggies.


Excerpt from Robert Crais' "The Monkey's Raincoat:"
"She took another microscopic bite of her sandwich, then pushed it away. Maybe she absorbed nutrients from her surroundings."

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 Originally Posted By: 40 yr old virgin
Before you snap a single picture, make sure they don't carry that certain shotgun in their buggy too!!! just funnin ya! ;-)


Good point. Many don't like their pictures taken but an Amish friend of mine doesn't think it's a big deal. He used to own two pick up trucks and had a TV in the barn to watch I.U. basketball. But when he got married he had to offically join the Church and give those things up. I told him that was a high price to pay for a little action that gets to be less and less the longer you are married. \:D

Last edited by Cecil Baird1; 02/19/08 08:25 PM.

If pigs could fly bacon would be harder to come by and there would be a lot of damaged trees.






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