Pond Boss Forums INTRO Questions & Observations How many PB Members to Change a Light Bulb?

How Many PB Forum Members Does It Take To Change a Light Bulb?
(adapted from another site by hitting it with a large hammer, filing off the sharp edges, and painting it to match)

1 to post "Hi! Great site! I'm a new member and my light bulb has burned out" .

1 to tell (no more than 3 minutes later) how to change the light bulb.

1 to say "Didn't we have a light bulb thread a couple of months ago?"

1 to say "Do a search on 'light bulbs' and you'll get about a dozen threads with good info."

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently (including 3 on how it would work if light bulbs had left-hand metric threads, which they really should).

1 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

22 to describe the stupidest mistakes they have ever made changing light bulbs.

1 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs.

1 to politely scold the spell checker for being overly picky.

1 to ask why Bob Lusk can't have a spell-checker put on the forum.

3 to explain ways to spell check your post using other software.

1 industry professional to inform the forum that the proper term is "lamp".

2 who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct.

1 to post that the forum is not about light bulbs and ask politely if the moderators should remove the thread.

The original poster, who explains how the light bulb is at his/her pond.

36 who agree that any discussion of pond light bulbs has a proper place at the forum.

2 (ewest and a ewest protégé) who post 23 links to other forum threads where light bulbs have been discussed before, plus 6 links to off-site info on light bulbs provided by state universities and regional light bulb changing centers.

1 to note that the next issue of PB Mag will contain an article on how NASCAR's Tony Stewart has the light bulbs changed at his pond.

14 who note that you should subscribe to PB Mag.

1 to ask when Bob Lusk's book on changing light bulbs will be available.

1 who notes that while the above posts provide plenty of info on changing light bulbs, light bulbs aren't any good at ponds without electricity. You might want to consider some sort of wind-powered lighting system.

1 who notes that wind-powered lighting sources only work when the wind blows. Doesn't the wind usually die down after dark, when we really need the light?

1 to note that with battery back-up, a wind powered lighting system will provide all the light you need (unless you are really pushing the envelope on the total biomass of fish in your pond). Here's how I set up my battery-backed wind-powered lighting system...

1 to ask if he can run light to his pond cheaper and easier than he can run electric to it. The pond is 1200 yards from the nearest source of light and electricity.

2 to explain how light can be run to your pond through underground fiber optic cable, but that providing it in useful quantities is cost-prohibitive.

1 to post a picture of a light bulb being changed.

1 to post a picture of Bruce Condello that they claim resembles a light bulb.

1 to ask for the directions on how to post a picture.

1 to post links to the threads on picture posting. This is followed by four posts with evolutionary stages of picture posting, the first three with various errors and the fourth showing a picture of Theo's cat dressed as a pirate changing a light bulb.

39 who take the thread somewhat off-topic on a discussion of pirates, diet mountain dew, the number of light bulbs at Guvner Davidson's mansion, and movies in which Bruce Condello has appeared portraying a character who changes a light bulb.

1 who regales us with tales of how in every movie in which he changed a light bulb, he got to kiss a beautiful Portuguese brunette actress.

1 to politely bring the thread back on the topic of changing light bulbs in the world of pond management.

1 poster that has converted all his light bulbs to fluorescents, so he very rarely has to change them. Plus they're more energy efficient, so his electric bills are lower and he has more money left over to buy fingerlings for stocking.

2 to post how they have refurbished used light bulbs to a working condition with a small amount of parts, several thousands of dollars worth of tools, and 3 ½ hours labor per bulb.

1 to tell how to make your own light bulbs from things you have laying around your farm.

2 to suggest that the moderators add the light bulb changing thread to the archives.

1 to ask what the archives are.

2 to explain what the archives are, and post links to them.

1 to ask how Bill Cody changes light bulbs. Not that all the previous posts aren't good info, but Bill really knows these things.

1 lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

Thanks for the laughs! You summed up just about every thread on Pond Boss.

.... but who would want it any other way?

That all comes from so many of us having tried to change the light bulb, but instead having slipped and stuck our finger in the socket while we stood in the wet grass. But at least we got a charge out of our experience. :p There is a strong belief that this is what created Dr. Frankenbruce and Igor.

I am quiet sure this one is headed for the funnies.

Hmm, so how should I go about changing my light bulb at my dock on my pond?

LOL

...I prefer the dark, thank you.

I think we should start another thread on how to properly change just your "Christmas light bulbs" out at the pond, this is totally different procedure than changing just your standard light bulb.

That is the funniest post I have seen yet!! Good work and Merry Christmas!!!

You missed some. For those of us who are not Engineers, we change the bulbs lickety split so the electricity won't escape. We also make sure our wives are well grounded so they won't get electrocuted during bulb changing.

You know, I think I'm going to count the light bulbs around here.

That ought to start a new flurry.

Theo, are you at work? It would explain why it takes forever to get anything!

Light bulb?

Life is good!

what wattage?
Soft white or clear?
what size light bulb?
does the light bulb in question have gas or filament?
what about a blacklight bulb?
is the bulb leagl in your state?
what if someone steals your light bulb?

Watts the difference between a light bulb and a heavy bulb? I would think that it would take more PBers to change a heavy one.

A DC would take more participants. You first have to check the batteries. For that you need one of them voltmeter thangamabobs to determine the batteries charge. I could go a ways on that one including whether the battery is OK in it.

Of course, on an AC, you have to determine whether the switch in on without getting into discussions about binary concepts, then whether the circuit breaker is thrown, next power to the house. If there is no power to the house, you would need to go to the store and buy ice for the beer. Sunil just might drop in.

I just finished a book on light bulbs as habitat for electric eels. Can anyone think of a good name for this quagmire of literary truthiness?

Would depend, is this a shocking expose' or a high voltage novel? Might just be an ohm run.

Name the book PB/TheoBS.

BS = Bulb Stuff?

And one to observe the deer in the head light bulb. Sort of.

from the CPAs perspective.....

If I donate the old bulb to a nonprofit organization can I deduct it as a charitable contribution?

Can I use section 179 to write off the entire cost of the new light bulb?

If the new light bulb uses less watts than the old light bulb do I qualify for a residential energy credit?

If I purchase Bob Lusk's new book "Raising Trophy Light Bulbs" will this be deductible as an education expense?

and of course the most important question.... to whom do I send the bill for all of this tax research????

Jeff, I'm pretty sure you can deduct all cost of the electricity that you didnt use because you denoted the light bulb.

Jeff,
If deducting the light bulb it should be changed following OSHA standards which include; hard hat, safety glasses, safety gloves, ground wire, OSHA approved step ladder, and certified "ladder holder guy".
Keep in mind also that if this is an outdoor light there are new EPA regulations that are being enforced by the ACOE. This includes the new reg that any outdoor light bulb over 10 kw needs to be PETI (People for the ethical treatment of insects) approved.

Yeah Jeff, I agree with Kent. But would also like to include don't forget to use your arc-flash helment or it could be "lights out", so to speak.

Yeah, Theo. That's it.