Ohio Speeding stories - Pond Boss Forum

1) Good:
A Fremont, OH policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem. A twelve-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand-painted sign, which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD". The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" . . . and a bucket full of money. (And we kids used to just sell lemonade!)

2) Better:
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Canton, OH. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.

3) Best:
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the Ohio State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you're going to sell me a ticket to the State Troopers Ball." He replied " Ohio State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.......

"The good news is none of the 50 states have the death penalty for speeding - although we're not sure about Ohio."
-Brock Yates, "The Gumball Rally"

Theo,
Get yourself a Pond Boss bumper sticker. How could someone give a ticket to anyone having a pond.

Ohio's finest tagged me 4 years ago with 75 in a 55. 2 lane blacktop; he was on-coming, hiding behind an 18 wheeler with only his driver side mounted radar sticking out. He smiled at exactly the same time my radar detector screamed. I forgot to smile.

You were driving 75 in a 55 zone? Where'd you think you were, anyplace other than Ohio?

I got pulled over for speeding in Indiana on a dual lane last year. For the life of me I still don't get why the speed limit was 55 when all the other dual lanes in Indiana are 70 mph. There wasn't even a city or town nearby!

Anyway, he asked me how I was doing when he came up to the window. I said I was doing fine up until now. Cost me over $100.00. And they wonder why I won't donate to the State trooper's fund.

Cecil,
You can come to PA when I am working and I will give a free pass. I figure atleast three cars behind you will be speeding anyway.
I had this one guy complain that I pulled him over and left the guy in front of him go. I said to him did you ever go fishing and he replied yes. I then asked him if he caught every fish in the lake every time he was out. He said no and I told him now you get my point.
Its like fishing in a barrel. I figure 1 in every 10 vehicles are speeding. I give everyone on major highways 17 over and on rural roads 12 over.

The other evening I got pulled over for "speeding" -- the first time in about 40 years. It was in a very exclusive and very wealthy small rural town in northern Virginia's Loudoun County. The very respectful and friendly officer told me that he clocked me doing 39 mph in a 35 mph zone.

We didn't know each other. I'm fairly certain that he knew of me from my volunteer activities in the local area. I would guess that he knew that I was friends with members of his family. He took my drivers license and registration back to his police SUV. A few moments later he reappeared, and asked that I respect the town's speed limits -- which I certainly agreed to.

I went on my way.

As I pulled out, I saw that the car traveling just two cars behind mine, was being pulled over.

On my way home each evening this week, including this morning (Saturday) I've seen multiple cars pulled over where traffic usually moves along at 15-20 mph over the speed limit. I guess it is some kind of crackdown.

If you are on US 50, between Chantilly, VA and the WV line -- be especially vigilant.

High Speed Ken

Wow...a whole 39 mph.

You daredevil!

Originally Posted By: BrianShpock

Cecil,
You can come to PA when I am working and I will give a free pass. I figure atleast three cars behind you will be speeding anyway.
I had this one guy complain that I pulled him over and left the guy in front of him go. I said to him did you ever go fishing and he replied yes. I then asked him if he caught every fish in the lake every time he was out. He said no and I told him now you get my point.
Its like fishing in a barrel. I figure 1 in every 10 vehicles are speeding. I give everyone on major highways 17 over and on rural roads 12 over.

No worries Brian. I only have it out for Indiana state troopers. $\:\/$

Originally Posted By: davatsa

Wow...a whole 39 mph.

You daredevil!

That's really fast for guys his age. $\:D$

Wait... I think he's about my age.

Originally Posted By: Cecil Baird1

That's really fast for guys his age. $\:D$

Wait... I think he's about my age.

Quote:

from "Pondering Old Age -- http://www.ahajokes.com/age32.html

How do I know that my youth is all spent?
Well, my get up and go has got up and went.
But in spite of it all I am able to grin
when I recall where my get up has been.

Old age is golden-so I've heard it said-
but sometimes I wonder when I get into bed,
with my ears in a drawer and my teeth in a cup,
my eyes on the table until I wake up.

Ere sleep dims my eyes I say to myself,
"Is there anything else I should lay on the shelf?"
And I'm happy to say as I close my door,
my friends are the same, perhaps even more.

When I was young, my slippers were red,
I could pick up my heels right over my head.
When I grew older, my slippers were blue,
but still I could dance the whole night through.

But now I am old, my slippers are black,
I walk to the store and puff my way back.
The reason I know my youth is all spent,
my get up and go has got up and went.

But I really don't mind when I think, with a grin,
of all the grand places my get up has been.
Since I have retired from life's competition,
I accommodate myself with complete repetition.

I get up each morning, and dust off my wits,
pick up my paper and read the "obits".
If my name is missing, I know I'm not dead,
so I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed

Cecil,

Would you like me to share some of my prunes and Geritol?

Ken

Catmandoo,
I cant believe he pulled you over going 4 miles over the posted limit. I would personally feel bad! I remember a Liuetenant at the State Police Academy stating it is just plain wrong to hold someone else at a higher standard than you hold yourself to. In PA the troopers have a rule of a minimum of 6 miles over. Hell on the interstate you must maintain atleast that or you would cause a traffic jam.

Originally Posted By: catmandoo

[quote=Cecil Baird1]

Cecil,

Would you like me to share some of my prunes and Geritol?

Ken

No need to share Ken. I can buy it here too! $\:\)$

Brian,I wish you were here in Texas.In the small town where my business is they got a friend of mine for 2 over!I f any of ya'll visit ir go through Hubbard,tx,please watch your speed and dont forget signals.They like out of towners money just like the locals

Originally Posted By: TOM G

Brian,I wish you were here in Texas.In the small town where my business is they got a friend of mine for 2 over!I f any of ya'll visit ir go through Hubbard,tx,please watch your speed and dont forget signals.They like out of towners money just like the locals

Is this one of those one blinkie towns where they have nothing else to do? Seems to me it's time for a UFO hoax to liven things up. To bad you're so far away. $\:D$

Cecil,
1) It is a one redlight town and there are several guys that ride thier lawnmowers for tranpotation.
2) There was a ufo sighting reported not long ago and I saw the report several times on the news!!!

Just as i thought. It'a one blinkie town. I guess someone already beat me to it on the UFO hoax.

Originally Posted By: TOM G

there are several guys that ride thier lawnmowers for tranportation.

I know this type of town. I pulled up to a 4-way stop in a small Texas town heading north about a year ago, and a Mennonite man on horse & buggy pulled up to the same intersection headed west. I tried to wave him through, but he insisted I go first.

I guess he figured a pickup can beat a horse in a game of chicken . . .

Hey you ain't seen nothin' until you've seen a horse and buggy pulling a huge bass boat and trailer with a 200 hp. motor on it. I live near one of the largest Amish communities in the country. I've seen it on several occasions.

Cecil, could we please see a picture of that? (boat w/trailer&motor). Priceless.

Originally Posted By: 40 yr old virgin

Cecil, could we please see a picture of that? (boat w/trailer&motor). Priceless.

I wish I had taken a picture. Next time I see it I will be sure to snap a picture and post it.

Before you snap a single picture, make sure they don't carry that certain shotgun in their buggy too!!! just funnin ya! ;-)

There have been some DUIs given to some PA Amish folks that have had one too many and then saddled up the horse drawn buggies.

Originally Posted By: 40 yr old virgin

Before you snap a single picture, make sure they don't carry that certain shotgun in their buggy too!!! just funnin ya! ;-)

Good point. Many don't like their pictures taken but an Amish friend of mine doesn't think it's a big deal. He used to own two pick up trucks and had a TV in the barn to watch I.U. basketball. But when he got married he had to offically join the Church and give those things up. I told him that was a high price to pay for a little action that gets to be less and less the longer you are married. $\:D$

I don't know much about the Amish culture, but I have had limited personal exposure with a couple of projects over the years. I once quizzed a gal about having a cell phone. She reminded me that there are different Amish orders with differing levels of lifestyle guidelines.

The pointy hat goes to Cecil.

But, so true.

The Amish in my area had cell phones before I did. They can also have electricity in their homes as long as it is produced in the home (gas powered generators in the barn) and it doesn't come in from the "outside world."

But that said I respect the right of Americans to follow their beliefs no matter how odd they seem to me. (As long as they are not harmful to themselves or others) That's what American is all about to me.

Originally Posted By: burgermeister

The pointy hat goes to Cecil.

But, so true.

Dr Burger pops in for a house-call.
I've noticed that you give out the pointy-hat prescription like it was Oxycontin.

Originally Posted By: burgermeister

The pointy hat goes to Cecil.

But, so true.

Dunce hat or witch hat for being naughty?

$\:D$

How about a wizard's hat ? $\:D$ --

Originally Posted By: Brettski

Dr Burger pops in for a house-call.
I've noticed that you give out the pointy-hat prescription like it was Oxycontin.

$\:D$ $\:D$ $\:D$

I still want to know what he meant. It must not be good as no one wants to tell me. Would it matter if I told him I'm two points away from Mensa? $\:D$

I was following a box truck through a round-about in the center of a Troy, OH. After I was through an officer pulled me over and said I had run the red light just before the town square. I explained that the box truck was so tall I didn't even see the light. He took my license, etc. came back a few minutes later, handed me a ticket and said that I need to be more observant. I asked him if this was the first time he ever gave someone a ticket on their birthday (it just happened to be mine) and he said "Oh, it's your birthday?" I just said "yeah, I guess you need to be more observant"

I was trying to see how fast my motorcycle would go on a nice, lightly traveled state route when I caught the glimpse of a sheriff car sitting in the ditch. I glanced down at my speedometer and it was reading just below 180MPH! I stopped at a stop sign about a two minutes later and looked around. He was nowhere in sight. I've always wondered if he was asleep or just didn't bother chasing me.

One night when I was about 17, I was about an hour past my curfew and going as fast as my Mom's Oldsmobile would go about 107 MPH before the speed limiter kicked in. It was pitch black dark and I had no business going that fast. I blew right by a Sheriff's car. He blinked his lights but never pulled out.

Eventually, this all caught up with me. I was caught racing on some backroads a short time theirafter and spent my senior year in highschool as well as the following summer without a drivers license. I learned my lesson.

Originally Posted By: Cecil Baird1

I still want to know what he meant. It must not be good as no one wants to tell me. Would it matter if I told him I'm two points away from Mensa? $\:D$

Wow, Cecil we have something in common.

I'm two points away from mental as well.

You must have taken that same online I.Q. test with no time limit that I did. $\:D$

When I asked my wife if she thought I could have a 138 I.Q. there was a looooooong pause and then she said, "no" with a surity that was hearbreaking. And then she said "no" again. I was devestated!

At least I have a better memory than she does. She took the test too and scored lower. Now she says SHES the one that scored a 138! Riiiiiight! $\:o$