Pond Boss Forums GENERAL QUESTIONS Pond Boss A story you can't even make up!

Ok here it goes this actually happend to me today at my land, and I almost was in deeeeep s*&t for real!

Ok story goes like this. I get up early got to my land around 7 ish. It was just breaking light. I am getting my stuff out of the truck and all and getting ready to go to work. Doing some final things before cabin kickoff on April 1.

Well around 9:30 or so I had to go number 2 something bad! Well in case of this type of an emergency I have a 5 gallon bucket I use with a couple of 2x4's on top of it. Not the best thing in the world but it works. Well it was pretty cold today and windy so I really didn't feel like slipping into the woods to go (Thank God I didn't!!!) So I decide to take my contraption into my shed , door proped open for light and I was out of the elements right all is good! Ok well I am sitting there taking care of buisness I start hearing this ka-thump, ka-thump down my drivway. It seems to be getting closer, ka-thump, ka-thump! I was starting to wonder what the heck is that as I cannot see either to my left or right cause I am sitting in my shed all I can see it straight in front of me. It's getting even louder now!! Then all of a sudden out of the corner of my right eye I see it!!! About 25 feet in front of me stops a 2000lbs BLACK ANGUS BULL looking right at me horns and all trying to figure out what I was!! Talk about scared to death!! I had a red tshirt on and I was NOT about to move an inch unless I had too!! I felt like that guy in Jurassic Park on the toilet when the T REX ate him!! I wasn't about to move and I couldn't get to the door to shut it!! It stood there and looked at me for what seemed like forever!! I thought to myself if this thing starts pawing at the ground I am going to have a MESS on my hands!! Cause I was going for the door no matter what then! It stood and looked at me for about 30 seconds! Luckly it looked down at my pond and started to walk down to it!! Thank God I decided to go in the shed and not out in the woods!!! I got done and had to go get the neighbor to come get him!! Just thought I would share! That was one of the weirdest moments I have ever had on the POT!!!

Did you remember to wipe when you got up?

Funny story! No bull.

I'll bet you weren't constipated at all.

As Rodney use to say,--- look out for number 1, but be careful not to step in number 2.

I know that's right AP. Sunil I almost forgot!! Dang it man it's kind of scary sitting with your pants down and a 2000 pound bull come to hang out with you!!!

LMAO

Whose bull was it?

Hey RC Great Story! Confucious say " Better to do #2 in the dark than get a keratin enema in the light"

Priceless!!!!!!

Hey double D, It was my neighbors bull. He has a pasture nearby and a few cattle. This one just happen to get out at the WRONG TIME!!! I don't know if I will ever go out in the woods again to go to the bathroom!!! I will be to scared looking over my shoulder the whole time!!

Ole!

Seriously great story!

You know there is the game where a bunch of folks sit around a table and play poker in the middle of a Bullfighting Arena.

I can envision a variation of this game in which a bunch of people..... oh never mind.

From the moment I made the post above I've had some mildly edited song lyrics careening around my cranium...

You got to know when to hold it, know when to fold it,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sitting at the toilet.
There'll be time enough for counting when the deed is done.

If your not already doing it, you will go on yourself when out of nowhere a 2000 pound bull walks up to you 20 feet away!! Fricken bull was enormous!! I don't know how guys get on them things on purpose to try and ride them. That is just crazyness in my eyes!!

If it was me, I think things would have closed up quick when said bovine got close.

Bulls, Bears and Coreyhaps...what do all 3 do in the woods (usually)?

Squeeeeeeze Forrest!

Too funny. It was NOT funny at the time though. I am glad that thing decided to NOT charge my shed or it would have been ugly.

best line in the whole story

Back in college at our fraternity (Phi Sigma Kappa), one of our brothers passed out on the can.

It was the funniest thing to speculate if he 'remembered to wipe when he woke up."

And this "brother", did he go by the name Sunil too?

No, never.

Guys name was Chuck.

Back in the late '80s, our toilets had no stall around them, so as you can imagine, everyone who walked into the bathroom for whatever reason saw Chuck there passed out on the can.

Bet he only did it once.

It wouldn't be a sure bet.

Many of us tend to repeat stupid things.

Note how RC didn't say he was going to cease using his portable potty, just that he was going to make it a point to shut the door. Last I checked, bulls had ears too.

Well, until you syran-wrapped him to the john right? Or duct taped? There is no way any of my buddies would have woken up in the same position as they passed out.

Why is it when I post the thread just stops?

Edit: Oh I was wrong this time!

If it weren't for your otherwise outstanding credibility on this forum, RC, I'd have to speculate that this is one of those stories that is envisioned when one is, in fact, on POT!

That is a hilarious story - thanks for sharing! Bet you can't wait to get a cabin built with a bathroom in it!