OK, I think we have a grip on the stairway dilemna...

As goes so many things in my DIY life, our stairway has forced me to live up to my motto: It ain't done right until it's done twice. As of right now, I think it is finally done right...or at least as close to right as I can get it.
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We completely disassembled it, altered pretty much all the dimensions, and reassembled.
This was the original issue:

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removing one step at the top of the lower staircase and dropping the landing to meet it yields the cure:
(or maybe wearing red makes one look shorter)

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The landing wound up being 42" square...not too bad. The lower treads are still pretty wide at 41" and the upper treads will be 38" wide. It think we're good to go.