At the appointed time for inpection I could give the inspector a personal tour of your property wearing only my neoprene brazillian cut cod piece. Fear and loathing goes a long way toward speeding up a home inspection.
I would send you back into the 5 jungle-like acres of Black Locust trees where all the woodpeckers reside. Once they got a good look at the tour guide, it would be like a remake of a Hitchcock thriller.
